I wrote an article for a contest on youthreporter.eu. They're looking for entries about youth mobility in Europe, so I had to go back to the year 2010, when I did Erasmus Exchange in the UK. The topic is "My Special Person, our Story".My article is below, if you like it you can vote for it here: https://www.youthreporter.eu/de/beitrag/this-is-how-i-became-a-special-person.11629/#.Vqp4X_mLTIUI'd really appreciate your votes, because I see very poorly written articles getting votes from probably the authors' friends and relatives, while mine are... too busy or too lazy I guess, hehe. Hope you enjoy reading~This is How I Became a "Special" PersonSometimes your expectations don’t survive. But you have to make it through.After a lengthy visa application procedure, I was ready for my first lenghty stay in Europe. I left my father with our dog, jumped on a few hours’ flight, and there I was in London, in the UK. Since Europe is an aspiration in my country, I had imagined it as a place where things always worked perfectly. Below, you will read what a revelation it was for me to find out that things meant whatever I made out of them, and how I perceived the world depended on my acceptance of it. I was alone in dealing with all kinds of problems as they arose, that was alright and this is how I became my own “special person” during my Erasmus exchange.On the way from Heathrow airport to the city, the train suddenly stopped. “Please bear with us”, echoed the announcement. One apology followed the other. Some people complained to the official and he repeated apologies. I sat down, silent. 3 hours had passed when the train started to move again. Buses and trains often stopped like that and the passengers were asked to switch to another vehicle. At the bank I was told my stay was too short for opening an account. Registration at school as a temporary student was tricky. The accomodation I could afford was far from the city... So, life was just like how it was everywhere eIse, imperfect to the core. To make things worse, I was new to many things, and definitely an outsider. But wasn’t an exception to carelessness, I found out. My dorm was in a silent neighbourhood. Little did I know that those calm streets would be visited by loud fire trucks… And because of me.The fire alarm rang often in the dorm. There were few residents, but it was either someone taking a hot shower or smoking in the room, and the alarm rang, causing a nuisance.That morning, I closed the kitchen door after placing some bread in the toaster. I was still half asleep and looking for what to wear. For some reason, the automatic mechanism of the toaster to push the slices up didn’t work. When I went back to the kitchen, it was full of thick white smoke. Coughing hard, I opened the windows. Stepped outside the door for a breath, then went in again to reach for the fire extinguisher. It was the first time I used one, and had to get out of the kitchen to be able to see how to unlock it. It was only then the fire alarm went off! I went in again and made sure I put off the fire.When outside, I apologized to everyone, including the dorm management. I normally was fluent in English, but was so shocked that even simple words escaped me. They didn’t believe I put off the fire and called the fire brigade, saying we can’t get in until they check. Soon, two huge fire trucks arrived in our small, peaceful street. People in neighboring buildings were looking to see what was going on. I was overcome with guilt and shame.The kitchen appliances were left by former students and none belonged to the dorm, but they charged me for all of them, plus the fire extinguisher. They said they wouldn’t refund my deposit, and charge more if necessary. Luckily it wasn’t. But once they put a notice on my door, saying I had to pay for the upcoming week. I had to remind them I had paid for the whole duration of my stay in cash.Nothing was like how I planned. A few times I hung out in the school cafeteria, but couldn’t make friends. I went to discover the city, alone. Independence wasn’t something to be ashamed about afterall. I wish I had made friends with people, but it turned out that I had to learn I wasn’t in need of others’ company to enjoy life. Tried to make the best of my time, thinking that being alone is a blessing too, just like being with friends is. My international experiences that followed definitely made me more social, but now I know that being alone is not a weakness, but a part of life to embrace. Just like our mistakes, carelessness or bad luck. I can say it was during my time in London that I learnt I was, despite everything, a strong and special person who can cope with anything that comes her way.

"A women’s rights organization linked to two of the five Chinese feminists whose detention in March set off an international outcry ceased operations after pressure from the authorities led most of its staff members to quit and funding dried up.Wu Rongrong, one of the five detained women and the founder of the Weizhiming Women’s Center in Hangzhou, China, said she had no choice but to shut down the organization on May 29 after four of her six full-time employees and most of the center’s volunteers left after they and their families came under police investigationZheng Churan, another of the five activists detained just before International Women’s Day, when they planned to campaign against sexual harassment on public transport, had served as Weizhiming’s project manager since its founding in August 2014, Ms. Wu said in an interview on Friday. Ms. Zheng had explained that she could no longer work for the group because of the tremendous pressure she felt while in detention and since the women’s release in mid-April.Ms. Wu said that work at Weizhiming was largely suspected after she was detained on March 7 and the organization’s office was searched, as most staff members left and those who remained feared that working on advocacy campaigns could lead to further detentions. The group’s funding, which came mostly from local and overseas foundations, ran out, Ms. Wu said, and they could no longer pay their rent after May.“I thought things should be fine as there weren’t a lot of questions about Weizhiming,” she said, referring to police interrogations. “But after I was released, we found it was just impossible for us to do our work.”Ms. Zheng, reached by text message, declined to be interviewed.Conditions for nongovernmental organizations in China have grown more restrictive since President Xi Jinping took office in 2013. The country is considering legislation that would put all nongovernmental organizations, domestic and foreign, under closer supervision and would limit foreign funding for local groups. On May 29, the Communist Party announced that a Politburo meeting had decided that party groups should be set up in all social, cultural and economic organizations.The Beijing office of Yirenping, another organization associated with the detained feminists, was raided in late March after it called for the women’s release. Both Ms. Wu and Ms. Zhu formerly worked at Yirenping, which fights discrimination against people infected with H.I.V. or hepatitis, or with physical disabilities. Li Tingting, who was also among the five, still works there. In April, a spokesman for the Ministry of Foreign Affairs said the group was “suspected of violating the law.”On Tuesday, a spokeswoman for the committee working on Beijing’s bid for the 2022 Winter Olympics was asked how the crackdown on Yirenping could be reconciled with the anti-discrimination pledge Beijing signed when it applied to host the games. She denied any knowledge of the group, Reuters reported.Ms. Wu, 30, was denied medical treatment for hepatitis for nearly two weeks and was forced to sleep on the floor while in custody at the Beijing Haidian Detention Center, where the five women were held. After she was released and returned to Hangzhou in late April, she was harshly interrogated by the police, which left her “emotionally broken,” her husband has said.Ms. Wu said on Friday that she would rest before making any plans for the future.“I’ve been in this field for 10 years,” she said. “In the future, even if I’m on my own, I’d still like to keep advocating women’s rights.”But her troubles are far from over. Her activities will be monitored for a year, and as one of the conditions of her release she must submit a monthly “report of thoughts” to the Hangzhou police.“It’s likely that my phone is tapped and our conservation is monitored, too,” she said. “But it’s okay. I’m just telling the truth.”I wanted to share the link but not sure if you can read... So I copy pasted the article. Image not included because it may contain some politically sensitive stuff. My opinions about it? You can guess, I'm a foreign devil afterall. If you have necessary stuff on your computer maybe you can access the article here.

When I criticized things in Japan, people smiled and got away from me, and very soon I started speaking about strawberry cakes and hiking. In China it was different. Whenever I said I criticize things even more in my own country and that it is normal, people giggled. They thought I was a mad woman. They thought everybody would complain about me. (And I'm sure they thought nobody would like me and that I will have to die alone!!) They maybe didn't even believe that people talk about politics, criticize things, sometimes get imprisoned but manage to make millions of people furious and make them take action.We had general elections on Sunday and I went to vote as well. I was also an observer in the school I voted. This wasn't the first time I voted. Upon hearing this, I know Chinese people will open their eyes wide and ask, "You really voted??" You're young, not rich, not famous... And you went to vote?! This time, however, many people like myself were very excited. I still am, that's why I wanted to share it here and use it as a reason to finally disclose my nationality.This time, the election was even more meaningful than before. The participation rate is like 86 percent, and rose around a 10 percent compared to 2011 elections. Because people wanted to show their reaction. Young and old, left and right, liberal or conservative; many people wanted to make sure nothing went wrong with the process and they took part in it. Because, my dear friends, our current head of the state is a ridiculous man, and he had ridiculously high ambitions. Everyone who disagreed with his party was furious. There were twitter hashtags, Facebook memes and protesters.... We also have a similar troll group, similar to those employed by Putin of Russia. Yet, we won a victory. I can't embed this for some reason, but click here to see the count up!We are talking about a man who was on TV every.single.day! He made use of every single opportunity to advertise his former party, even though he has to be impartial according to our constitution. That he hasn't been on air for over 2 days is a huge achievement on its own! His party got 40 percent of the votes, and doesn't have the majority in the cabinet. Very good and interesting things are happening, and I am somewhat hopeful of my country's future.Now you know that I am from Turkey... The country that is set up after the collapse of Ottoman Empire...People are becoming more involved in politics each day this last decade, and for now I can't tell if it's getting better of worse. In the past we had troublesome times due to "overpoliticization". I mean people formed into groups and killed each other and there was a military coup in 1960s, and two more in the 80s. People raised their children apolitical, so that they can be "safe".But nowadays, people are becoming more and more aware of social and political happenings...And still, ridiculous things happen from time to time. We have lots of journalists in prison, thanks to our president, but at least we are freer than China. Youtube and Twitter got blocked for several times here as well (but now they're open). And this time, the president wanted 400 members of parliament, so that he can switch the country to a presidential system. We said no. Now he has 158 MPs, and we're looking forward to see what will happen.Now, I hope you can understand I don't criticize China because it's not USA or Sweden.

Life is life. And something happened today.In fact, there are ridiculous things happening my life recently. I started to work and was fired in a week because I don't smoke. And they knew that the smoke disturbs me as early as the interview day. On the first day, we agreed to move my table to another room, and the following day I got fired. So, instead of changing the table's location, they decided to change the person who sits there! Now you see there's no smoke free work environment, and that's a huge clue for you to understand that I'm not within the EU right now. Most places I applied within the EU require me to have a work permit, and they can't sponsor a visa. So, I'm back to job search again.Anyways... I made a profile on a language exchange website. When I was suffering from insomnia and mild depression, I started randomly browsing profiles and had some good laughs. Hoping that it's a conversation breaker to cheer me up and have pleasant language exchange, on my profile I wrote that I would like to hear funny/weird things people encountered at work or during the interview process in Japanese, Chinese and English. A Chinese guy sent me a message. Yes, you're right, that's how I became a "有趣的人", a funny person (read on to figure out a detailed explanation of the phrase)This guy, from Shanghai, wrote "You say you spent some time in China and can speak Chinese, so I will write in Chinese", and went on to share a "funny experience" he had at work. I'm briefly summarizing, and writing the English parts in italics:I work as a game developer, so after work we play online computer games with my colleagues. There is a newbie in the game as well. He is on the helicopter, and he asks "How can I run faster?" and I say "Press F". The F button in that game is to embark or disembark vehicles. When he presses F, his character jumps out of the helicopter, and in the chat box liar appears. After 20 minutes the game says XXX commited suicide.And I reply,你好 (his nickname) 在电脑上玩游戏怎么会是工作上的趣事呀。 Hello (nickname) How can playing computer games counts a funny thing at work?直升机上的人为什么问怎么能跑得快，这个也不懂。Why the person on the helicopter asks how he can run faster, I don't understand either.不好意思哦，但是我感觉你的幽默感很奇怪。I'm sorry but I think your sense of humour is weird.Actually now I guess I understand why he thought it to be funny (Because I wrote a more coherent summary of his message); the game made it look like the newcomer called him a "liar" and commited suicide because of him. But this is by no means "a funny thing that happened at work", maybe if he told it as "something that made him laugh recently" I wouldn't have reacted so... I didn't think he would take my words personally and be so bitter about them. Yes, the "weird humour" part. I know in Japanese "weird" is a heavy insult, but Chinese people around me never showed sensitivity to that word, and I heard it being used often. I admit it might sound harsh to some people... But I definitely wouldn't mind. AND in his reply, he played the "You're a foreigner, your culture is different, so you misunderstood me" card..... In my previous blogs I wrote it many times, that the "Your culture is different, that's why..." type of imaginary cause-effect relationship gets on my nerves and that it's very hard to avoid in China. He also said my words hurt him (我感觉自己被深深的打击了：（ ) which I took as a half joking protest. He wanted to make a foreign friend, but the foreign friend misunderstood him.I apologized, but gave him a short but stern lecture that whatever foreigners say or do can't be explained by their "foreignness" and that culture plays no role in my reaction. People's sense of humour differs, and people don't abide their traditional culture in all forms of personal interaction. I also told him this is my personality and that I say things directly. (On my profile I wrote that I'm ENTP) I sent him the link of the Myers-Briggs test. To me, it was apparent that we can't be friends.I'm outlining his somewhat long reply and what his arguments made me think:* I don't want to discuss further to prove my point, it's meaningless. (OK, logical)* I'm not saying that people should live according to my culture and tradition. (This is completely irrelevant)* When I want to make friends, I choose people who understand my humour and if they don't, I don't force them. Friendship is not something you can force to happen. (Eh, common sense?)* When I said "I am hurt", it was a joke, don't take it seriously. (Of course I could understand that)* I guess he tells me not to build arguments anymore on his statement "Cultural difference makes you misunderstand". But I'm not really sure. It's not only his statement, but anyways. (He wrote “我想这是文化差异，所以你才会误会”这是一种台阶 what does 台阶 mean here? 请不要在别人给你的台阶下的时候不下，还要顺着杆子再爬一层。 ) * He was offended by my words, because I said "Don't approach foreigners like this", so he wrote "Maybe that's what I do and maybe not" (Irrelevant and none of my business)* I make friends with people whom I get along well, they accept or refuse my thoughts.... etc. (Partially irrelevant)* World is big and there are funny people (世界这么大，有趣的人总会有一些。) (He uses it as a derogatory term! :D)* You say everyone has a different personality, very complicated and so on, then you say it can be assessed by a test and attach the test under each message? (I didn't! I attached it only once and he misses the logic of the personality test)* Saying bye to you is the sane thing to do. Bye. (I have to admit, "saying bye" sounds like he's making it a big deal)And wrote him a very short reply:The end of my Chinese skills, so the last message is in English.It's interesting that you say 世界这么大，有趣的人总会有一些 in a derogatory way, and this is a cultural difference. Though sense of humour is not. When I said "you have a weird sense of humour" that was by no means a personal attack. I apologized before and after writing it, it obviously sounded rude to you. That personality test is a scientific study, and I sent it to you because there is a significant classification: I don't take criticism personally, but it looks like you do. 贴上各种标签的话? I sent it to you because if you ever take that test it will tell you that you take criticism personally, and strive to maintain harmony, etc.Bye~But the message couldn't be sent because he had blocked me! As if I would keep messaging him to disturb... Anyways, he wanted to say the last words, and show his attitude. I don't really mind, there are different types people on the word indeed, and he was one of those whom I'm not going to get along well with... Some of his points are irrelevant or ridiculous (How he makes friends or my attitude about the personality test) but I do agree that I wasn't being my politest... I shouldn't have expected him to react the way I would. Being a "funny" person, or marginal, or even "weird" is a compliment for me though. And I enjoy it in the derogatory way he meant as well! But yeah, despite being 有趣的人, maybe I should soften my tone or just simply ignore people whom I can't relate, instead of trying to interact with them... The "funny" gal needs to hold her tongue!

I’ve been writing about China and have been criticizing things that bother me, not to insult or humiliate anyone but just to point out some facts. (That’s my personality, you can check “ENTP type” and go here to find about yours)Now, before I tell about my nationality as I promised to, I want to criticize the “expat” community in East Asia and explain my reasons. Yes, not only the expats in China. I only spent 3 months in Korea but lived longer in Japan, and studied Japanese longer&more effectively than I did Chinese, and saw similar patterns in other Asian countries I travelled to, so I’d like to tell you how the broader picture looks to me.(And by the way, if you studied Chinese in China and your teachers didn’t turn your classes to fat shaming, gay shaming, patriarchy promoting, tradition praising sessions you’re luckier than me)My first blog here was about the word “expat”, and how expats assume it as a title. Some others warned me in the comments section that I was confusing the words “expat” and “expert”. I wasn’t, and I hadn’t even noticed the similarity to be honest. Years later, I'm writing something similar to it. Everyone is unique, and everyone wants to feel special. Being in China makes you feel so, that’s right. But if that’s the only thing you think you’ve got; 1. You’re wrong and in delusion, 2. You’re just lazy and unaware, 3. You're really hopeless.Guys, your accent makes you cool, your skin colour and nose shape makes people notice you and suddenly you feel your opinions count. You can even get jobs you’re not qualified back home.Gals, your skin colour and nose makes you exotic and beautiful, and you suddenly feel you’re precious and your opinions count. People made you believe that getting a marriage proposal is the highest achievement in your life and in China it comes out of nowhere and leaves you shocked. You can even get jobs you’re not qualified back home.These are flattering, but why don’t you try to develop yourself and add some *real* skills to your portfolio, other than, ahem, your nationality? Expats are well aware of these, especially those who stayed in this part of the world long enough. That’s what makes some them VIOLENT against others. I had a Russian friend who felt upset when she saw other Slavic women around. A Danish friend of mine told me another laowai gave him a “You’re not welcome here” look as he was parking his bike. As some of you know, on this forum people told me I shouldn't be qualified to teach English, and that I should be “shamed” on my pay day. I was also bullied by an American guy at the school I worked. In my country I am qualified to teach English, work as a translator, do business and manage multilingual correspondence and earn a living, and remember the days I was bullied in China. I interviewed with a multinational publishing company a month ago, and both interviewers were surprised at my level of English. WHO IS THE LOSER?I don’t want to shame anyone, you can teach English and buy a house in Korea, and you only need an American passport and some patience. Go ahead, I’m not judging you.But I judge you when you attempt to bully me. Why does my existence disturb you so much? Why do you want to avoid the fact that you don't represent the rest of the world?(By the way, I wouldn’t teach as a fulltime job, that’s not the career I want. I worked part time in China, and usually was substituting for other teachers when are sick or have things to do. They were grateful, and I was happy, and so were the students. Yeah I act silly when I teach, and children love it) I’ve noticed that especially Americans categorize people so easily. A young woman/man with… white privilege in Asia? An entitled misfit who can’t hold a job in their home country? (I wrote about it before, a Chinese teacher said “I don’t think foreigners have enough patience to read Chinese fiction” during a class about contemporary Chinese fiction).Our mutual experience is that to Chinese people our one and only identity is “laowai”, which means we are illiterate and whatever they saw on music videos. Why do you project the same prejudice on me (or on other foreigners), knowing that it’s so biased? Do you want to be the only one taking advantage of it? Why? What motivated me for writing this blog is actually a Tumblr account. I’m not in China anymore, so no more expat talk. The Tumblr account I came across is run by several American/Canadian Chinese, and they answer questions mainly about Asian cultural appropriation. Someone posted, a friend of theirs went to China with their family, lived there for a year, and returned to join an event, and they showed up in Chinese dresses (qipao). The person who posted the question was upset about it, and so was the answerer: “If the event is not related to Asian culture, it’s definitely inappropriate”. I thought of my shirts and dresses, I have plain ones I can even wear when doing grocery shopping (OK, maybe not the dresses, but the shirts). Why should it offend any Asian person? Why would it mean that I “own” their culture? My grandparents didn’t wear Western clothing in their youth. Now am I offending any Westerners with my clothes? I know the glasses offend everyone though, that's why had to use this photo.One thing I learnt in Japan was that people there focus on the differences. There are two glasses on the table, “but one is full!” There are two kinds of fruit on the table, “but one is red!”Focusing on differences makes you discriminate. Makes you isolate yourself. Makes it harder to connect. Think about it!Appropriating Japanese culture here.I made friends from various countries during my time in Asia, and I cherish them. I said “hi” to strangers on the street or smiled back at them, just because we are both foreigners. We have something in common, even though we are “foreigners” to each other. I connected with people from very different walks of life, even though they were “foreign” to me. Maybe that’s why there are Chinese people who think all foreigners can speak English and are always friendly.If we met… in your country, how would you see me? In Japan I’ve seen some Americans avoid me. A French girl would turn her head away when I talked. When I was in Europe, I was so nervous to do everything right that I acted just weirdly.There are things I don’t approve, and there are many things I criticize about my country (because it’s normal to be critical here! Surprise, surprise). I feel the political situation in my country is pathetic, and I am pessimistic about it. But none of these mean I am ashamed. I just don’t want Chinese people, who know very little about my country, to make ill informed assumptions. (“A little learning is a dangerous thing”, says Alexander Pope)And I don’t want you expats, to judge any of my ideas by bringing in your assumptions about my nationality.We live in a complicated world, things are not as easy as they are in China. People, like those “cultural appropriation” people, are so ready attack you for small things. I understand if you dye your skin black for Halloween, it’s wrong because skin colour is not a costume, but we don’t even have Halloween here for God’s sake. It’s not a “foreigner’s festival”, as far as I know it’s only celebrated in the US (and ahem, Japan!). I hope I could explain my reasons for not disclosing my nationality, and why I stopped enjoying to be among expats after some time… Here’s a bonus, it’s unfortunately a youtube video and it’s not on youku. I’m all for diversity and individualism, and the title of the video is “Slavoj Zizek (Big Think) why political correctness is a form of totalitarianism”. I hope you enjoy.And see people as individuals, not as an extension of their passports.

We are used to thinking what we are supposed to think.The way news are reported can tell us so much about a society's sensitive points. Sometimes even tragic news such as murder, rape, theft, suicide, kidnapping etc. are reported in such a tone that it almost wants to make the reader laugh. Why do reporters, news writers do this?They want to be popular, they want to be famous, they want the news they write to be seen by thousands or millions of times. They unabashedly use/abuse the involved people's identity for this purpose. Their greed is as ugly as the katharsis of those who read the news and feel better about themselves.This is very common in many countries. Reporters love using a sexist and humiliating language when reporting crimes. They insert little bits and pieces of prejudice, so small that many don't even notice they are there. When a trans woman is killed, the text structure different from a "normal" murder case. If a woman is raped, the newswriter blames her secretly for "having made it possible". Why did she do that? What was she wearing? Did she have a boyfriend/husband? These irrelevant information are added to steer our thoughts to what the reporter wants us to think. Did someone kill themselves? The reporter narrates their story so that we should/should not pity them. The reporter decides if they "deserved" it, and writes it accordingly. Recently in my country some young people are enraged. Mainstream media has become a government influenced monopoly, and reading alternative news is the only way out. Yet many people don't use internet, or don't even know about alternative media. And most people are so willing to laugh at other people's tragedies. When you ridicule someone, your popularity rises.One man in China wanted to kill himself. And the reporter slightly "embellished" the news.I saw it on Facebook, people who don't otherwise read news about China are sharing it as if it's comical.We all know that marriage is the uncertainty right after that cliff, and traditional parents do everything to push their own beloved children off that cliff to feel good about themselves as parents. Society is always willing to partake. Just like in other traditional societies, in China it is a huge problem as well. Many young people, some not ready or mature enough, and some who are simply unwilling, are forced to get married to people they don't even want to know. Men are supposed to be the ones who benefit from this shame the most: Free housekeeping, sexual services, a child and childcare, sometimes even food.But not everyone is willing to ake such a marriage. Some men do not want any of these. For many reasons. Many reasons which we, if not a close friend he confides in, have no right to inquire about. He might be envisioning a different life for himself. He might have a different sexual orientation. There might be someone else he loves. Or he might fear he may not love someone. There can be so many reasons, and none of which is our business. A young man (or woman) is split between what his parents and society want him to do, and what they themselves want to do. The transition to adulthood makes decisions unavoidable.And one man in China attempted to kill himself.He committed suicide. He decided he does not want to live anymore. His parents wanted him to marry someone. He did not. The destructive force inside him won the battle. He decided to kill himself.Whatever the reason is, it is tragic. Even if it's someone whom you can not feel a connection with, let's say a rich and spoiled teenager killing themselves for an iphone, suicide attemp still means that person was suffering a lot. No matter what they personality is like. Suffering so much that they don't want to feel the sunshine on their skin anymore, don't want to feel their breath filling their lungs, don't want to smile, don't want to enjoy a cup of tea. Suicide, the end. Should we ponder upon this, or ridicule their possible reasons for suicide? It seems that many choose the latter option gladly. Just throw in a word or two, and you get what you want.This one man attempted to suicide, but he was rescued by people."Police officers later asked the groom why he attempted to commit suicide and he revealed that he was being pressured into an arranged marriage that he was very unhappy about."This is the story. And how it is reported makes it quite "light". "Ah young men and their whims.... He did this just because the bride was ugly! Ha ha ha! What a curse it is to be ugly!" Is this what are we supposed to think after reading about the story? Apparently that's what they want us to do. The news is below. The judgement is yours. "Cold feet? Man attempts to commit suicide by jumping into a lake because he was being forced to marry an ugly brideGroom was due to get married to an ugly bride arranged by his parentsPressured by his parents, the groom thought his only escape was suicideTried to drown himself in a nearby lake but was spotted by passers-byPolice officer dived into the water to save him and the unhappy would-be groom is now expected to make a full recoveryA Chinese groom was so upset at being forced to marry an ugly bride that he tried to commit suicide."The full story: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/peoplesdaily/article-3014864/Cold-feet-Man-attempts-commit-suicide-jumping-lake-forced-marry-ugly-bride.html?ito=social-facebook

anastasiasuli's blog Party boys and girls points out an unusual "career" option for foreigners in China, and I want to write about a similar option: Being a promoter. Many of my friends, guys and gals did this job which earned them money and interesting stories.Chinese friends told me they don't see that many foreigners in China during their daily lives, but when they go out everywhere is full of them. There is also this idea that in China bars and clubs are supposed to be for "bad" people. Bad boys and girls looking for one night stands.... Well, China is not Vatican, and to most foreigners going to a bar or pub with several friends to chill and have a beer is quite normal. So it's not that surprising to see many foreigners hanging out instead of Chinese. I heard foreigner KTV girls aren't that popular (language barrier...) but in clubs for sure they are, because the music too loud to talk anyways. Most Chinese people aren't into dancing also, at least until they're really drunk, therefore as a dancing foreigner you get even more attention. So foreigners who are looking to hook up with someone and who are only looking for having fun can all be found in the night time scene.And... some of them go out as a part of their work. A party girl/boy works like how anastasiasuli wrote. I remember having seen "Pink Lady" on the menu of one club, for 1000 kuai. I wondered what kind of cocktail it must be, to be that expensive. Then I was told it's not a cocktail but a girl! You order one, and she simply goes to your table and plays dice games with you.. and drinks. Once, a friend said a customer wanted his money back because the "Pink Lady" drank too much and fell asleep on the couch... I have also seen suspiciously sulky foreigner girls with Chinese guys, not even smiling once or twice, just playing the dice game without saying one word. And guessed they must be working for the club. Actually everybody can tell those people who work for the club, I guess. But when I was with my ex and his Chinese friends, I also got weird looks from Chinese people and foreigners alike, unfortunately. A friend of mine, blond and tall, refuses to talk with Chinese people at clubs, probably because she's fed up with being mistaken for a bar girl. For me, it's normal that Chinese people come and offer a toast to foreigners, they like doing that. You just raise your glass once, smile, and everyone is happy. Probably my friend was asked to do more, so she even refuses to do that.A funny thing I heard... Once a guy asked for two foreigner girls, but the club had only one that day. They asked him if one foreigner and one Chinese girl would be OK, and he said no. He didn't want one foreigner girl at the table, because none of those guys he was with spoke English! He said, "If there is one girl she would be bored alone, but if there were two they would talk to each other!" It's very cute that he was that thoughtful, but it's also very Chinese that he just wanted to have foreigner girls at the table for showing off... I don't know if it's idiotic or cute actually. And of course he assumed all foreigners speak English.Mojito, Pina Colada and the secret cocktail. Do they speak English?Anyways, about promoters... A promoter does not entertain customers individually. They're just responsible for... bringing more foreigners to the club. A German friend of mine was quite surprised at his job. "I give people free drinks, fruits and nuts, and get paid for that!" Yes, that's basically what a promoter does.Wechat is so useful, a great program... And sometimes the answer to "What are you doing/Where are you?" can be only one photo.Conditions depend on the club. Some want you to be there for the whole night and dress nicely, some don't care. If you're very social and have lots of friends who go out often, you'd be the perfect fit. Your friends go to the club and you give them a table, a bottle of vodka or whiskey, and some fruits. So you're happy, your friends are happy, and everyone is happy. The club is "high class" if there are lots of foreigners, so apparently it becomes more popular. I'm not sure how that part works.So empty!Those who work as promoters do well, but those who just go out to party (without getting paid) just get messed up. Most people don't know how to drink responsibly. Free drinks, and everyone is crazy. There are rumours that those free drinks are fake... So just cheap and locally produced alcohol gets branded as Jack Daniels or Smirnoff. So, not dangerous fake, but still fake.What's dangerous is the... attitude. A friend of mine got in an alcohol coma, and was transferred to a hospital in Shanghai after several days. I heard another friend of mine took a stranger to the hospital, because people told him he was sleeping, but my friend felt it was a strange way of sleeping, so took that unconscious guy to hospital. When you start talking about this kind of stuff, stories flow. I even heard someone who died here because of liver failure. How tragic is that?! For some reason, promoters learn to stay conscious and drink *kind of* responsibly. Getting wasted as the one and only form of socializing and entertainment is dangerous nevertheless, most of your friends being "drinking friends" is not that good in the long run either... So there's always risk if this is your "career"... Most people I've seen are students and work as promoters for several nights a week only. Study load isn't that heavy if you're studying bachelor's or language.... Master's can be pretty easy too, especially if you're doing a program like China Studies or Language and Culture or whatever. But I've seen very few PhDs in clubs! As for me, during my first year here I remember paying for my drinks several times.... Haha. But that was 3 years ago. I don't go out that often anymore, but when I do there's always a table full of bottles, and familiar faces. I can walk back from most clubs around, and don't pay for alcoholic/non alcoholic drinks, but even though it costs nothing going out is not as fun as it used to be anymore.Selfie on my birthday, November 6th, 2014. I have no idea where I will be on my next birthday! (Most likely Europe though)

Cultural difference is often an excuse for personal problems, however it is sometimes the culture that plays the trick.April Fools' Day is an unofficial "holiday" for pulling pranks on others in many countries. Back home news channels report funny or overly optimistic news to celebrate April 1. I remember once we drew fish on our exam papers at school on the first of April. Someone left a plastic insect on the teacher's desk, which she surprisingly found very cute. (That's how we learnt our maths teacher loved insects).At the royal palace in Brighton, UK, I remember having read one of the stories about the emergence of April 1 as a fools' day. The king insists on an illogical declaration, and people pretend that day (April 1) as Fools' day in order to cover up for his... well, stupidity. You fear someone so much that when it is obviously necessary to criticize, you find a creative way to deal with the "problem"; and make it a day of jokes and pulling pranks on others.Coming to "cultural difference".... I heard in southern Africa, when locals want to get rid of hyenas they put a few pieces of stone, then cover them in blood. Hyena, not being the most intelligent animal, thinks the stones are a wounded animal, and eats them all. Sadly, the poor hyena dies a painful death because it can't digest and poop out the stones.Li Zhurun, who used to work for Xinhua news agency, posted on Weibo a similar "confession". He, as a reporter had fallen for the April Fools' Day news and published it, showing the Western media as the source. Chinese eagerness for propaganda and "conquering the world" apparently had made him mistake bloody stones for a dead animal."In his posting, Li said he had been duped by an unspecified Western news outlet, which reported on April Fool's Day 1981 that the West Point military academy in New York State had held up the People's Liberation Army (PLA) soldier as an example for all students.[...] Over the past three decades, the West Point myth has become so entrenched in China that even a member of the country's advisory discussion body, the Chinese People's Political Consultative Conference (CPPCC), cited it in a 2009 proposal urging Beijing to apply for UNESCO recognition of the “Lei Feng Spirit.” "The whole article can be found here at China Post.

As a rational human being, I want to use my energy economically and write a blog about this, instead of writing about it separately to many people and waste energy.There are ways to be successful, and ways to be unsuccessful. To be a "loser", you need to have a psychological mechanism that hinders your own improvement (such as making excuses, laziness, conformism, hesitance etc). To be a winner, you need to analyze things rationally, clearly and act accordingly. My 3 years and 4 months in China has proved me that China as a country is not going to be a winner, I'd like to share with you what makes me think so.*Generalization and stereotyping as escapismMaking broad generalizations and being proud of such stereotypes won't get anyone anywhere. This is a common method of denying personal responsibility. Accept your personal quirks, incompetence, abilities and flaws; and stop trying to generalize these as national qualities.Example: We Chinese people think/do/ this way.Reality: No. That is how you think, or how you do something. Take the responsibilty. There are millions of people who have the same nationality as you, but don't think or act the way you do. I have heard someone say "I'm not good at maths, I'm American". This is another example of the same kind of escapism. Neither laziness, nor chauvinism, fascism or racism are "Chinese" qualities. But Chinese people would always tell you that "Well, in China......." No. It's not "in China". The same bullshit is everywhere in the world and that's why it needs to change. That's why everyone (including the Chinese) need to be conscious and aware.There was a Chinese girl, a freshman, writing minutes during my thesis defense. She made a fuss about everything, worried in vain about trivial/stupid things and took my graduation things as her responsibility and vaguely/openly blamed me about things that aren't my fault. I told her to stop being a paranoiac, and that this is not good for her psychology. Her reaction was correcting a conjunction I used (even though she already had understood what I meant)I wanted to help her, so I texted her afterwards to think about things. Her mind was made up that I was too relaxed and my graduation procedures (including things as easy as getting my supervisor's signature) were her own responsibility ue to my incapability. And her reply to me was that "this is Chinese culture and culture is very hard to change". No darling, that is your incapability of seeing the big picture and dealing with things calmly, assumptions about foreigners and somewhat stupidity.*Young people being unwilling to change thingsIf something is not functional, people will not like it. Because rational people try to make things easier for themselves, not harder (if it's without any useful reason). Young people are supposed to be the locomotive of change towards the better, and this has been so in most places. In China, however, young people are extraordinarily unwilling to make a difference. Is this selfishness, lack of courage or laziness? I don't know. Maybe all.Example: Zhejiang University is one of the best schools in China, but has a very unfunctional online system. Most procedures for graduation are complicated for Chinese/international students alike, mostly irrational, arbitrary and vague. As a resut it's impossible to plan things ahead. I sent an email to my department and international education centre with suggestions. Nobody cares of course. When I talked about it to Chinese students, they said "You graduated already, didn't you?" and I replied "It's not about my business, it's about those who haven't graduated yet". And they were surprised, why is this girl so angry about something that she is not effected by anymore? Actually if they let me, I would even write a detalied tutorial about each unnecessary, stupid and unreasonable step towards graduation I had to go through, so that others can plan their time, money and other stuff according to someone's solid experience instead of assumptions and gossip. But no, everyone is lost right now, because the graduation process is mystery to all who haven't graduated yet.University is a Western institution, the child of Enlightenment. It shouldn't be so arbitrary and primitive and full of unexpected weirdness. Another example: A friend of mine suddenly noticed that her dorm key card doesn't work anymore. Her roommate let her in. Then she found out that her internet connection was cut as well. She went to pay, they told her that her name was not in the list anymore, and her dorm key card was invalid for the same reason. The school had arbitrarily decided that she graduated. In the middle of the semester. I, myself went through all the stupid things so that the system recognizes me as a graduate, and still have to wait for my certificate and diploma. I told the school the date I plan to leave. However, even though we are in the same school, the same system decided that my friend must have graduated and left. The international education office is in the dorm she lives in. Even though it is the same building, there is no communication between the office and dorm management. Unbelievable. If the office sent a name list of the graduated students at every graduation period, then the dorm management wouldn't be making random decisions about anyone's graduation. But if I told them these (my friend doesn't speak much Chinese) they would think I'm whining because I'm a foreigner.Another one: I sometimes teach Chinese kids English. Last time I was doing a review for their exam. They had learnt countable/uncountable nouns, also some vegetables' names and kitchen stuff like spices, oil, butter etc. So when reviewing those, I asked them to repeat after me.Me: Carrot (The class repats: Carrot)Me: A carrot (The class repeats: A carrot)Me: A few carrots (The class: a few carrots)Me: Salt (The class: Salt)Me: Some salt (The class: Some salt)Me: Garlic ....Suspicious voices raise in the classroom: 她说什么？我们学得不一样！对呀，她不说carrot, salt, garlic, 她说得不一样！(What is she saying? Not the same as what we learnt! Right, she doesn't say carrot, salt, garlic, she's saying differently!)So according to them, I had to repeat words just in the sequence as they were written in the book. I couldn't mix vocabulary and grammar during review. They had learnt about uncountable nouns and salt and garlic, but in their minds these didn't connect. They protested about similar things several times during my review, and I felt very frustrated for being accused of teaching them "different things" (they couldn't see it was the same). Their exam scores were low as well, and I wasn't surprised at all. This is how Chinese people don't learn English.*Arbitrary rules that don't mean anythingRules are there to regulate things, assure safety and orderliness, or increase effectiveness, and so on. In China, they are unreasonable requirements which nobody knows why they exist.Example: In my country there's a common joke. Before each exam, the naughtiest student in the class asks the teacher "Can we start from any question we want?" This is a joke because it's a useless question. Of course you can start from any question you want. Start from Q1 or 10 or 50, it doesn't matter, it's still the same thing. So everyone laughs at the question, and the "joker" reaches his/her aim. In China however, this is no joke. If you take paper based HSK, you need to be doing the same page as all the other people. Or, the teachers when I took the exam were psychopaths and wanted people to do so. Because there is no regulation, it is arbitrary, and your exam experience depends on your luck and the teachers in your classroom. Another example: There is a document for leaving the school, you basically get stamps from all offices. All of those are independent. Public Affairs Department (my department) and Internet Services Office or the library or the International Education Centre are not related to each other at all. There is no communication between them. And this is the reason you need to go to 8 or 9 offices and get the stamps, because the office can't ask for clearance from each of these places. Back home, the library reports those with debts to the office upon receiving a list of prospective graduates from the same office. Anyways, I went to Zijingang campus (takes 1 hour on the bus from my campus) to submit my thesis to the library, because I was told so. (When I say this in Chinese people think I'm an idiot foreigner and took "library" as Zijingang library because I live in Zijingang. None of these are true, I made sure that I have to go to Zijingang library before doing so, and I live in 1 hour distance). And the library told me I had to go to library of the another campus (where I live). Since I was at Zijingang already, I went to my department office to get the stamp on that document. She didn't want to do so, because I hadn't got the stamps from the previous 2 places. I told her it's nonsense to get the stamps in order, and that "previous" can't mean anything, because there's no relation among any of the places that were liste randomly on a piece of paper, and that I had come all the way to Zijingang already, so didn't want to go back just like that. So finally she agreed to give me the stamp. Time passed, I got the stamps from other places. In the middle (5th or 6th one?) there is space for one from my dorm office, and the last one is for the International Office. Except for these two I had it all. And I was at the Intl Office to give my medication receipt. Yes, as you guessed, since I was there already I wanted them to put the stamp. They refused, because I didn't have the dorm stamp. I told them I was on the way to my dorm already, and would get the dorm stamp after they put their stamp. So that I can photocopy the complete document and take to Zijingang and get my certificate; and bring the certificate and the original document to the Intl. Office.The stupid office girl: But if the dorm stamp is missing your photocopy won't mean anything.Me: I will get it when I get back to my dorm, and photocopy it afterwards.TSOG: You need to give this document to me at the end anyways.Me: I know, but I need to take a copy to my department.TSOG: I can't put the stamp because you don't have the dorm stamp.Me: There's no such necessity. I just don't want to come here once more in vain.TSOG: (looks at the document with a pity) But you don't have the dorm stamp....It went on and on, until I was drained of energy. I was angry. I couldn't even see a reason why I was explaining something so visible and obvious and easy to understand. ALRIGHT, I shouted. I WILL HAVE TO COME HERE IN VAIN AGAIN. If I was speaking English I would be talking very fast, and they wouldn't understand. So I talked Chinese, and repeated the same things. The actual dialogue is longer because I was trying to explain her the obvious, and my sentences were short because I didn't know why I had to convince them. I don't remember each sentence I said. A few hours later things I could've said came to my mind.She was either deliberately trying to 麻烦 me, or was having a slow day, or is a stupid person all the time. I think it must be no.2. But she still needs to spend effort to try to understand what I mean. It was so easy to see after her stamp there will be one left and that's where I go to sleep every night. I guess she was in denial of the fact that ı need to give a photocopy to another campus even though I repeated it. Maybe she assumed my department was in the same campus? But even if it was, it would be at least 30 mins alk from the intl. office.I decided to get the stamp from my dorm, and take the document to her when I go to the office to collect my medical insurance refund. Which will be next week hopefully. I'm not sure though, because even though it is identical to one I gave them the last time (and got the refund) she looked at it carefully and murmured "What is this, so expensive...?" to herself. I told her I've been drinking Chinese medicine and doing acupuncture, and that the receipt is the same as the last time, she still looked unaffected.If they deny me the refund this time, it will be weird enough. But I won't be surprised. And will fight for it. Because my scholarship is until June, and graduation ceremony is in March, and I have formalities to deal with during this month.Another example: This was a month ago or so. I needed transcripts for traineeship and Phd applications. Most deadlines were in December.Me: Can I get an English transcript as well?Stupid Public Affairs Department Girl: I think you can, but I don't know where.... You can translate it yourself. Then you need the school stamp and that's it.Me: Do I get the stamp here?SPADG: No, I don't have that stamp.Me: Where do I get it?SPADG: I don't know...Me. Alright.... Can you give me another copy of the Chinese transcript?SPADG: But you're still taking a class, it doesn't have the grade.Me: I know, I don't care. I need several copies.SPADG: I will give you after you have the score for that class.Me: It will be too late. I will apply to several places, I need more than one.SPADG: But you didn't finish all your classes yet.Me: It's not important! (forgot how to say "deadline") I need them now. It will be too late after I get the score for that class.SPADG: You photocopy it yourself then.Me: The photocopy won't have the real stamp... Do you understand what I mean?SPADG: I know, you photocopy it as much as you want.Me: It won't be real, I need ALL with the real stamp.SPADG: But you're still taking one class.Me: I know I am, but I need transcripts now.SPADG: I will give you another copy after you have the grade for that one.Me: But it will be too late. SPADG: One should be enough, I can't give you another one.Me: If you can give me one, you can give me another one as well.SPADG: But you didn't finish your classes yet........(Note: When applying to schools, they accept provisional graduation certificates and incomplete transcripts as well. If you're going to graduate in June, you can apply to the next step in January and give them the real diploma when you have it. This is how I had applied to Zhejiang University also. But this girl was pretending that I can't apply for a Phd without having completed all my master's classes, and that an incomplete transcript would be useless)*Not knowing the importance of constructive feedback and criticismIn China, most people would think you're "complaining" if you criticize something. Because there is no interaction between institutions and people, people suffer, institutions prosper. Are people for institutions or are institutions for people? First option is nonsense. But here, institutions or rules set up by other people are Gods, and people are slaves who have to obey without any thought. How dare you talk about/criticize something that someone else has made for you already?Example: Almost every incident I encountered during my 3 years in China! I don't even know where should I begin to explain....Reality: When you want to change something, people will say "You're a foreigner, you don't understand" or "This is how things are in China". If a Chinese person is courageous enough to criticize anything, they will say "You don't love our country", "You don't respect our traditions of hundreds of years" or even "You're brainashed by foreigners", which is ridicuous because it assumes being Chinese means being stupid and blind. Shortly, regardless of being Chinese or foreigner, you will be silenced by the society which suffers from the very thing you criticize.Do you know that most seafood is cooked alive to ensure they're fresh? The example of lobster is often used in social sciences. If you put them in boiling water, they will try to escape immediately. So you put them in warm water, and heat it gradually, so that they don't notice the heat all of a sudden. When the water starts boiling and is too hot to bear, some lobsters want to climb out of the pot they're in. Do you know what the other lobsters do? They pull them in. They don't want them to escape. Yes, this means all lobsters are "Chinese".*Racism as an excuseI know that an average Chinese person does not see people of other races that often. So, stop lecturing me about this please. I met a black person for the first time when I was 20. I talked to an Asian person for the first time when I was 19. And this is because I studied English hard, and went abroad. Like most people in my country, I grew up seeing only white people who speak the same language and believe in the same religion. I had only seen people of other races in music videos or on TV. Of course people in my country think all black people play football/sing rap and all Asian people do porn (Japanese porn is getting common back home) HOWEVER this is only it. If racism back home is 3 units, in China it is 6 units. And people here put forward Chineseness as an excuse. Americans and people from other multicultural countries agree, "Yeah these people don't see foreigners that often" is something I often hear. The real reason for fascism and racism is fascism and racism; there's no excuse, and they are definately not an inevitable or forgivable consequence of history. I know it because I grew up in racial homogenity, and it was only when I took Japanese classes at university I met a Japanese person (my teacher). And I went to Japan to study, and I met a black French guy there. I didn't suspect his Frenchness or ask him questions about his skin or hair, I assure you. I accepted him as a black French person without any suspicion or disgust.Another example: People in my country, even though they may meet a black person for the first time, are not as naive as Chinese people. Noone would say "So black!!!!" upon seeing a black person. Because black people are black, regardess of your encounter, and everybody knows this. Even if people may say/ask something ridiculous, they would never take shelter in their own nationality, and would admit they never thought Asian/black/brown people to be this or that. Yes they would stare at Asian people on the street. But they would still see them as human beings, and wouldn't objectify them (they may objectify women sexually though, if they had seen Japanese porn lately). And for sure noone would try to avoid coloured people, or hide their kids when they see them. So again, something you thought as "Chinese", isn't Chinese at all, but is pure self righteousness. That's why it's unacceptable for me that Chinese people "normalize" their racism listing the reasons above. Back home gender equality is a problem too. And this is the reason I would never accept "China" or "Chineseness" as an explanation for socially constructed gender roles. That you don't know about the world doesn't mean things exist only in your country.My ex told me if people in his village knew he dated a white woman, he wouldn't be able to get married to a Chinese woman, because they would think he has AIDS. Back home even people who watch Japanese porn often wouldn't say you'd have AIDS for sure after having dated an Asian woman. Because it doesn't mean ALL Asian women would have AIDS, right? However in China white women are such sluts that all of them have AIDS, and having dated one means you're a bad boy that needs to be avoided. (Getting married to a white woman, however, means marrying "up" because anything white means beautiful)I can think of other reasons to list under this blog, but it is too long already.Each time I criticize China I get personal comments from people who try to humiliate me or my knowledge about the world one way or another. I have been through a lot of things, had a hard life, and matured up very early compared to my peers, and therefore deveoped a confidence and self awareness that no internet insult can break through. So all of you strangers are welcome to make comments about my life and assume your imagination as the only truth, I don't really care. (And you're also welcome to share your opinions about the topic as well. I don't mind any rational falsification of any of my ideas. However my concrete experience can't be deleted by anyone else's words, that's a fact).

Today I'd like to introduce you the vegetable that nature has roasted for us: Celtuce! (That's what the internet tells me it's called). In Chinese it's 莴笋 (wo1 sun3), and it's quite cheap recently. It's not that easy to prepare though. It has a very thick skin you need to peel, but you can't do it with a regular potato peeler. I peeled it with a knife. There is only one in the photo, I cut it in half. It's quite long, and enough for one person if you cook other vegetables with it. I didn't take a photo of it before peeling... But baidu helps me show you how it looks with the skin.(Image from http://nbssy.cn/)When I meet a vegetable for the first time, I usually steam it. Celtuce was delicious when steamed. As I wrote before, it has a very distinctive, deep taste; like... as if it's been roasted. So to me, it's name is "roasted vegetable".Last week I saw it at the school canteen, and ordered it immediately (there are not many dishes without meat, so I notice and try everything). I also wanted to see how it is cooked in a commercial way. It was served with Asian yam (山药) and was stir fried, like most Chinese food. They didn't cook it much and left it a little crispy, probably to match the natural apple-like crispiness of the yam. It was a little too oily, again like most Chinese food, but wasn't that bad.The other dish I ordered is white gourd, 冬瓜. You must've seen it in markets all year round. It's HUGE, I mean really huge, and usually very cheap. In supermarkets they are cut and packed as thick slices, but in vegetable markets you can see them lying on the floor like dormant whales. Probably the canteen buys just one, and can cook 100 dishes with one gourd. OK I'm exaggerating, but you can feed several families with one white gourd for sure. It's dark green outside and white inside, has somewhat sweet taste. My dictionary tells me it's also called "Chinese watermelon", not sure if it's classified as a fruit. When cooked, it becomes soft and almost transparent like you see in the above pic. It tastes somewhat like other types of gourd I'm more familiar with, but is somewhat sweet also. I'm not going to write a separate post about it, I'm not a huge fan. I remember when I first cooked it, I pureed it with some sweet potato, it just disappeared and made a VERY sweet puree. In Malaysia I remember I bought a canned soft drink with white gourd flavour. Was very interesting. But here comes a bonus, something I tried a few months ago actually.Dried egg?! I was very skeptical, and feared it might be sweet (like most things are here). It does have white sugar listed in the ingredients indeed, but not that much. It just tasted like some boiled egg with soy sauce. It might be convenient if you don't want to/can't buy boiled eggs, or want to have some protein on the go. After eating black olives with somewhat sweet taste and also Korean kimchi and dried seaweed with lots of sugar, I'm suspicious of anything that has sugar added in it... But dried egg is not disappointing. Oh and, today I ate duck egg for the first time. I wasnt even sure if it was called 鸭蛋, so I just asked the lady I usually buy eggs from if she had any. She just pointed me the somewhat bigger, somewhat yellowish eggs. I bought only one. It felt very dense in my hand, I almost feared there might be a developed fetus inside it. But it just looks and tastes like chicken egg. The yolk was bigger, and thicker, hence the denser feel of the raw egg. For some reason I felt bad about eating a duck's egg... I don't know why. I guess I have internalized eating chicken eggs and don't find it unethical at all, but duck egg is something new. I don't think I will eat it a second time though. I hope Donald Duck won't visit me in my dream tonight. OK, so much about eggs. One thing I want to ask, do you eat the leaves of celtuce? I do, and I haven't died yet. None of the photos on baidu show the leaves served on a plate, the one I ordered at the canteed didn't have leaves either. The leaves somewhat resemble normal lettuce leaves, but are somewhat purple especially in the middle, and have a different, thicker texture than those of a regular lettuce. I just steam them with the stem and eat when I cook it. Should I stop? Will it kill me?