I’ve been writing about China and have been criticizing things that bother me, not to insult or humiliate anyone but just to point out some facts. (That’s my personality, you can check “ENTP type” and go here to find about yours)

Now, before I tell about my nationality as I promised to, I want to criticize the “expat” community in East Asia and explain my reasons.

Yes, not only the expats in China. I only spent 3 months in Korea but lived longer in Japan, and studied Japanese longer&more effectively than I did Chinese, and saw similar patterns in other Asian countries I travelled to, so I’d like to tell you how the broader picture looks to me.

(And by the way, if you studied Chinese in China and your teachers didn’t turn your classes to fat shaming, gay shaming, patriarchy promoting, tradition praising sessions you’re luckier than me)

My first blog here was about the word “expat”, and how expats assume it as a title. Some others warned me in the comments section that I was confusing the words “expat” and “expert”. I wasn’t, and I hadn’t even noticed the similarity to be honest. Years later, I'm writing something similar to it.

Everyone is unique, and everyone wants to feel special. Being in China makes you feel so, that’s right. But if that’s the only thing you think you’ve got; 1. You’re wrong and in delusion, 2. You’re just lazy and unaware, 3. You're really hopeless.

Guys, your accent makes you cool, your skin colour and nose shape makes people notice you and suddenly you feel your opinions count. You can even get jobs you’re not qualified back home.

Gals, your skin colour and nose makes you exotic and beautiful, and you suddenly feel you’re precious and your opinions count. People made you believe that getting a marriage proposal is the highest achievement in your life and in China it comes out of nowhere and leaves you shocked. You can even get jobs you’re not qualified back home.

These are flattering, but why don’t you try to develop yourself and add some *real* skills to your portfolio, other than, ahem, your nationality?

Expats are well aware of these, especially those who stayed in this part of the world long enough. That’s what makes some them VIOLENT against others. I had a Russian friend who felt upset when she saw other Slavic women around. A Danish friend of mine told me another laowai gave him a “You’re not welcome here” look as he was parking his bike. As some of you know, on this forum people told me I shouldn't be qualified to teach English, and that I should be “shamed” on my pay day. I was also bullied by an American guy at the school I worked. In my country I am qualified to teach English, work as a translator, do business and manage multilingual correspondence and earn a living, and remember the days I was bullied in China. I interviewed with a multinational publishing company a month ago, and both interviewers were surprised at my level of English. WHO IS THE LOSER?

I don’t want to shame anyone, you can teach English and buy a house in Korea, and you only need an American passport and some patience. Go ahead, I’m not judging you.

But I judge you when you attempt to bully me. Why does my existence disturb you so much? Why do you want to avoid the fact that you don't represent the rest of the world?

(By the way, I wouldn’t teach as a fulltime job, that’s not the career I want. I worked part time in China, and usually was substituting for other teachers when are sick or have things to do. They were grateful, and I was happy, and so were the students. Yeah I act silly when I teach, and children love it)

I’ve noticed that especially Americans categorize people so easily. A young woman/man with… white privilege in Asia? An entitled misfit who can’t hold a job in their home country? (I wrote about it before, a Chinese teacher said “I don’t think foreigners have enough patience to read Chinese fiction” during a class about contemporary Chinese fiction).

Our mutual experience is that to Chinese people our one and only identity is “laowai”, which means we are illiterate and whatever they saw on music videos. Why do you project the same prejudice on me (or on other foreigners), knowing that it’s so biased? Do you want to be the only one taking advantage of it? Why?

What motivated me for writing this blog is actually a Tumblr account. I’m not in China anymore, so no more expat talk. The Tumblr account I came across is run by several American/Canadian Chinese, and they answer questions mainly about Asian cultural appropriation. Someone posted, a friend of theirs went to China with their family, lived there for a year, and returned to join an event, and they showed up in Chinese dresses (qipao). The person who posted the question was upset about it, and so was the answerer: “If the event is not related to Asian culture, it’s definitely inappropriate”. I thought of my shirts and dresses, I have plain ones I can even wear when doing grocery shopping (OK, maybe not the dresses, but the shirts). Why should it offend any Asian person? Why would it mean that I “own” their culture?

My grandparents didn’t wear Western clothing in their youth. Now am I offending any Westerners with my clothes?

I know the glasses offend everyone though, that's why had to use this photo.

One thing I learnt in Japan was that people there focus on the differences. There are two glasses on the table, “but one is full!” There are two kinds of fruit on the table, “but one is red!”

Focusing on differences makes you discriminate. Makes you isolate yourself. Makes it harder to connect. Think about it!

Appropriating Japanese culture here.

I made friends from various countries during my time in Asia, and I cherish them. I said “hi” to strangers on the street or smiled back at them, just because we are both foreigners. We have something in common, even though we are “foreigners” to each other. I connected with people from very different walks of life, even though they were “foreign” to me. Maybe that’s why there are Chinese people who think all foreigners can speak English and are always friendly.

If we met… in your country, how would you see me? In Japan I’ve seen some Americans avoid me. A French girl would turn her head away when I talked. When I was in Europe, I was so nervous to do everything right that I acted just weirdly.

There are things I don’t approve, and there are many things I criticize about my country (because it’s normal to be critical here! Surprise, surprise). I feel the political situation in my country is pathetic, and I am pessimistic about it. But none of these mean I am ashamed. I just don’t want Chinese people, who know very little about my country, to make ill informed assumptions. (“A little learning is a dangerous thing”, says Alexander Pope)

And I don’t want you expats, to judge any of my ideas by bringing in your assumptions about my nationality.

We live in a complicated world, things are not as easy as they are in China. People, like those “cultural appropriation” people, are so ready attack you for small things. I understand if you dye your skin black for Halloween, it’s wrong because skin colour is not a costume, but we don’t even have Halloween here for God’s sake. It’s not a “foreigner’s festival”, as far as I know it’s only celebrated in the US (and ahem, Japan!).

I hope I could explain my reasons for not disclosing my nationality, and why I stopped enjoying to be among expats after some time… Here’s a bonus, it’s unfortunately a youtube video and it’s not on youku. I’m all for diversity and individualism, and the title of the video is “Slavoj Zizek (Big Think) why political correctness is a form of totalitarianism”. I hope you enjoy.

And see people as individuals, not as an extension of their passports.