After a lengthy visa application procedure, I was ready for my first lenghty stay in Europe. I left my father with our dog, jumped on a few hours’ flight, and there I was in London, in the UK. Since Europe is an aspiration in my country, I had imagined it as a place where things always worked perfectly. Below, you will read what a revelation it was for me to find out that things meant whatever I made out of them, and how I perceived the world depended on my acceptance of it. I was alone in dealing with all kinds of problems as they arose, that was alright and this is how I became my own “special person” during my Erasmus exchange.

On the way from Heathrow airport to the city, the train suddenly stopped. “Please bear with us”, echoed the announcement. One apology followed the other. Some people complained to the official and he repeated apologies. I sat down, silent. 3 hours had passed when the train started to move again. Buses and trains often stopped like that and the passengers were asked to switch to another vehicle. At the bank I was told my stay was too short for opening an account. Registration at school as a temporary student was tricky. The accomodation I could afford was far from the city... So, life was just like how it was everywhere eIse, imperfect to the core. To make things worse, I was new to many things, and definitely an outsider. But wasn’t an exception to carelessness, I found out. My dorm was in a silent neighbourhood. Little did I know that those calm streets would be visited by loud fire trucks… And because of me.

The fire alarm rang often in the dorm. There were few residents, but it was either someone taking a hot shower or smoking in the room, and the alarm rang, causing a nuisance.

That morning, I closed the kitchen door after placing some bread in the toaster. I was still half asleep and looking for what to wear. For some reason, the automatic mechanism of the toaster to push the slices up didn’t work. When I went back to the kitchen, it was full of thick white smoke. Coughing hard, I opened the windows. Stepped outside the door for a breath, then went in again to reach for the fire extinguisher. It was the first time I used one, and had to get out of the kitchen to be able to see how to unlock it. It was only then the fire alarm went off! I went in again and made sure I put off the fire.

When outside, I apologized to everyone, including the dorm management. I normally was fluent in English, but was so shocked that even simple words escaped me. They didn’t believe I put off the fire and called the fire brigade, saying we can’t get in until they check. Soon, two huge fire trucks arrived in our small, peaceful street. People in neighboring buildings were looking to see what was going on. I was overcome with guilt and shame.

The kitchen appliances were left by former students and none belonged to the dorm, but they charged me for all of them, plus the fire extinguisher. They said they wouldn’t refund my deposit, and charge more if necessary. Luckily it wasn’t. But once they put a notice on my door, saying I had to pay for the upcoming week. I had to remind them I had paid for the whole duration of my stay in cash.

Nothing was like how I planned. A few times I hung out in the school cafeteria, but couldn’t make friends. I went to discover the city, alone. Independence wasn’t something to be ashamed about afterall. I wish I had made friends with people, but it turned out that I had to learn I wasn’t in need of others’ company to enjoy life. Tried to make the best of my time, thinking that being alone is a blessing too, just like being with friends is. My international experiences that followed definitely made me more social, but now I know that being alone is not a weakness, but a part of life to embrace. Just like our mistakes, carelessness or bad luck. I can say it was during my time in London that I learnt I was, despite everything, a strong and special person who can cope with anything that comes her way.