I took the interview for teacher’s certificate several days ago. Before that interview, I had experienced time of anxiety. Many times as I told myself that there was nothing to worry about, considering that I have more than 3 years teaching experience, I still found myself sometimes in an anxious state. According to the rules, I am eligible to take the interview in the city where I was born. I can also take the interview in the city where I work, as long as I have paid my social insurance for at least 1 year. (I have paid for more than 3 years in fact.) That’s something I knew after I took the exam, I had not found it before I submitted my first online application with the location being the city where I have worked for 3 years, which resulted in the failure of the first online application. In fact, I have not figured out till now why it was refused as I was eligible and as one of my friends had hers passed even though the interview location was not her birthplace either.) Anyway, I had to apply for the second time and changed the location to my birthplace. But the process was not easy. I was so afraid of having my second application refuted that I first phoned the Teaching certificate center to inquire about the reason why my first application failed, only to be intimidated by the lady who answered my phone call and offered vague and impatient explanation. Then I made lots of phone calls, asking my grandpa and my mother to go to the local police station to make sure that my famiy registered address had never changed. What’s more, I even called another teaching certificate center many times for further confirmation, but no one had ever picked my calls. I might seem overreacted but given that there were only 2 days left and the censoring duration online was, according to my first application, nearly 2 days, I might not have the chance to apply for the third time, and if I missed this interview, I would have to wait a whole year for the next, my reaction then seemed reasonable. My friend, who I mentioned before, became anxious too. Her online application was passed, but she did not know what kinds of materials she needed to get the permission of taking the interview. What if at that day she arrived at the location, only to find she was not allowed to enter. Her nerves were too on edge, and kept phoning different places to ask what kinds of material she needed. She got that fear partly because the lady, who answered my phone as well as hers using the same strict and impatient tone, said that without those materials like your contract, and your social insurance record, you wouldn’t be allowed to take the interview, even though your online application was approved of and you paid your test fee. In fact, the whole examination process later was proved to be less strict and complicated. All of us don’t like uncertainties. When facing uncertainties in life, people have different reactions. Optimists are more likely to get through and are less likely to get panicked by telling themselves life is full of uncertainties, and there is no use to worry about what will happen in the future. However, people, whether optimists or pessimists, may feel even more anxious when things are out of control than when faced with uncertainties. For example, if we get well prepared for a test, we will feel more confident when it is a written test with multiple choice questions than an interview. Because for multiple choice test, all the answers are standadised and the test itself is objective. But for the interview, we do not have a standard answer and there is something out of control, especially the subjectivity of the interviewer which may to large extent, influence the result of our test. Besides, we all know that the more important the test is to us, the more anxious we may become. Actually, things later are all proven to be less severe than we thought. Having read many psychological books and got more knowledge about human’s thoughts, emotions and behaviors, I am now actually less anxious when facing uncertainties and things I cannot control than I used to be. Getting rid of some emotions like anxiety is not impossible. The only thing you have to do is to change your perception towards it, considering it as something normal, accepting it and embracing it. The fact may seem simple to understand but difficult to implement. I am now still working on it. Hopefully, it will help me to better deal with my anxieties and to become a calmer person.

I had written in one of my article that modern society witnesses remarkable achievements in all fields but it also breeds laziness and greed. However, after I had read A Brief History of Humankind, the question- is modern society the real source of all our desires- lingers in my mind. Media and desires The more information we get access to, the more unsatisfied we will become. With the advent of all high technologies, we can know things not only around us, but also around the globe. Social media, for example, is one of the best-liked platforms where we get and at the same time share all kinds of information. However, it is not merely a platform. It is more like a vicious trap to me. Think about how many times we complain about the boredom of life, and how many times we turn to social media such as Wechat, Microblog, Ins etc., when we are moaning and groaning about the monotony of life. Life there is much more diverse and colorful. We can see plenty of ‘successful’ people sharing their life stories and seemingly happy lives there, famous stars promoting their image by posting photos of their charming face and body or photos of doing charities, and cyber celebrities showing off their wealth and hard-to-tell natural or fake beauty. Even when we browse our friends’ circle, all we can see is happiness and fulfilment. Nobody wants to expose his or her shortcomings or misery in front of others. We all want to get others’ attention and be welcomed by them. Although, for a very long time, self-mockery went virus online. But do not neglect the purpose behind self-mockery, it is always to gain popularity and win ‘friends’. But life is not always happy. Compared with others’ happy and adventurous lives, our normal lives seem rather too normal. Of course, different people may have totally different attitudes towards it. In contrast to others’ success, pessimists’ failure may stand out, get their full attention and eventually block their view. Whereas for optimists, others’ success is a great example and would serve as the driving force in their lives. Different as people’s opinions may be, one thing we have to admit is that it stimulates our dissatisfaction towards our lives whether positive or negative. Here comes another prominent example -- advertisements. According to psychology, being exposed to a repeated message for a long time, we are more likely to believe in it. And whether you remember the message or not, it will have cannot-be-underestimated effects on our attitudes. Businesses take advantage of this theory and hype up their products and services using a variety of advertisements. Wherever we are, we cannot avoid seeing those ads. I won’t deny the merits advertisements have. But they do intensity our existing desires and elicit new desires. I don’t think there exists anyone who has never been lured by the ads and bought something that he or she did not need. Desires and minds I am not blaming the media of course, though I used to think that media is the one to blame. Having read the book A Brief History of Humankind, I found something else important and easily ignored. Our minds matter a lot. It is written in the book that our mind usually reacts with craving, and craving always involves dissatisfaction. When the minds experience something distasteful, it craves to be rid of the irritation. When the minds experiences something pleasant, it craves that the pleasure will remain and intensify. Therefore the mind is always dissatisfied and restless. For example, people dream for years about finding love but are rarely satisfied when they find it. Some become anxious that their partner will leave; others feel that they have settled cheaply and could find someone better. (Btw: I want to mention one interesting thing I learned from psychology that when experiencing something unpleasant, we forget major negative event like disabilities, breakups and test failures much quicker and easier than minor irritations, due to the fact that major negative events would activate psychological immune system.) Minds and actions It is difficult to resist the charm of all sorts of temptations. Some of the desires are like viruses. Once they begin to live inside host’s body, they will multiply and spread fast, occasionally weakening the hosts and sometimes killing the hosts. They are very difficult to get rid of. They lead to actions that are out of control. Changing our minds is much easier than changing our behavior. Getting rid of bad habits requires determination, persistence and diligence. The only thing most people possess is determination and unfortunately it is not strong enough. For the whole time in my life, I have never had strong will. I’ve made plenty of plans, most of which were done in vain and haven’t been finished until now. Though time flies, all those plans still stay there. I’m still lingering around the beginning of the path, never getting any close to the end. That’s why, to some extent, I am a loser in life. The thing is much as I know about importance of completing my plans, it is still hard to take actions and persist. I had learned that persistence can be enhanced and gained through constant practice, however even constant practice needs persistence as well. LOL. Am I doomed to be a loser? the history of humankind

[imgid=1]Before I got to know psychology, I had always believed that psychology was rather mysterious, and it sought to manipulate others’ mind and direct others’ behavior. (I was probably poisoned by films featuring hypnotists who can control other people sometimes even through a phone.) Anyway, I was quite ignorant at that time. Filled with classes, tests and homework, my high school didn’t give me any chance to unravel the mystery. Luckily, when I started my college, opportunity came along. I chose Social Psychology as one of the selective courses out of sheer curiosity. I enjoyed every classes not because of psychology itself, but because of the nice and charming teacher and the shock some of the experiments in psychology brought to me. So one year after I finished the course, all I could remember is the nice teacher and the shocking experiments, one of which is the famous prison experiment. I was not interested in it due to the fact that I didn’t do any conscious learning; I only accepted what the teacher taught and I didn’t try to understand it, ponder over it and reflect it on our own lives. My passion towards psychology was not fueled until I began reading psychological books. I finished 2 books, one being Social Psychology written by David Myers, the other Understanding Psychology written by Robert Feldman within the last 5 months. Both are really beneficial and inspiring to me as I started to view the world in a different light. Firstly, psychology helps me to better understand myself. We are more or less self-centered, overestimating the extent to which others’ attention is aimed at us. Imagine that you fall down in a busy street while walking with your some of your friends, you will certainly feel embarrassed and think that most passers-by will notice it and your friends will remember your stupidity for a long time. However, the fact is that others may not notice and soon forget. Moreover, it alters my opinion towards many things. For instance, when we explain others’ behavior, we often underestimate the influence of environment and more often than not we attribute it to their disposition (fundamental attribution error as it is named in SP ). We do so because when we watch someone act, that person is the focus of our attention and the situation is relatively invisible. Knowing the fundamental attribution error and its cause, I always try to analyze the situational factor instead of making a hasty conclusion about a person’s certain behavior. I feel like that I become more open-minded and tolerant than I used to be. Besides, I learned not to judge others and their lives and not to argue with them when their opinion differs from mine. Human beings are very complicated. We can never totally see things from others’ perspective. I had often discussed with my friend about a girl who is simple-headed and abrupt. She has poor interpersonal skills and often argues with people over trivial things. She seems overconfident and can not realize her mistakes. Although, now I still think she is not the type of person I like, I don’t want to bother thinking about it. Maybe she can not realize her mistake forever for it needs competence to know incompetence. And it is her way of living her life not mine. Why bother? The fact that people have different life is fair and amazing.I can not list all of the things I learned from that 2 books here. But at last, I want to point out that hypnosis is not as powerful as I think and not all people can be hypnotized. (lol) Don’t believe in things hyped on the media easily.

I used to believe that war can destroy everything, including those you hold firmly. However, the movie, Hacksaw Ridge , Which depicts a war between America and Japan and which I watched on Christmas altered my opinion. I can not tell for sure if this is adapted from a true story as it claimed to be. Most of the plots may be real. There may also exist some exaggeration in order to catch viewers' eyes. Yet, I have to admit this is a great film worthy of seeing.I am not going to state the cruelty of war here, which is always being talked about and well known to us all. What I am going to write here is something about human nature, which we know as well but seldom acknowledge. Psychology tells us the great impact situation has on us. We adjust roles we play to fit in the situation, as is well evidenced by a famous experiment in Stanford, called Prison Experiment, where participants were divided into 2 groups who both had to spend time in a simulated prison, with one group designated as prisoners, the other guards. Surprisingly, both of them absorbed the roles they played quicker and better than anyone could expect, those guards disparaging the prisoners as if they were real guards and those prisoners breaking down and rebelling. The researchers had to call off the experiment ahead of the due date for fear that things would go out of their control. The prison which they created was absorbing them as creatures of its own reality. So when I first started watching, I expected that the belief of the lead, a Christian-- don't touch the gun, don't kill people, during a war would collapse. I seemed rather confident about my speculation, only to find I was totally wrong in the end. The lead, Desmond, hadn't taken the gun under dangerous circumstances and hadn't killed a single person in the war, instead he saved many, even some of their enemies. Furthermore, we, as individuals, won't go against a gang of people, because we would be treated as freaks or be isolated by them if we did. It is human nature to seek for conformity and we are born to be social animals. I used to think how weak one person' strength is. But Desmond proved a single person's power can be strong enough to influence other people. Patriotic and passionate, he signed up for the army to serve as a medic. When he refused to take any gun, he was labeled as a coward and physically abused by other soldiers. No one in the army understood him, all thinking how insane and useless this person is, not carrying a gun in a war. He even was threatened to be put in jail if he insisted in not carrying a gun with him. With all the soldiers' verbal and physical abuse, his lover's persuasion and the risk of imprisonment, he struggled and self doubted, but he still clung to his own belief. Ironically, in the end, the one considered a coward didn't retreat when other soldiers returned back; the one thought to be useless saved most lives including those who scorned him only by using his bare hand and his firm belief. I don't believe in gods, and I always hold that you can trust and rely on no one except yourself. And I had said to my students that you cannot leave everything to god, maybe he is too busy to take care of everyone. I have to admit that I used to be biased towards gods or religions. Maybe it is because I, being shortsighted, have little knowledge about religions. Of course, I don't mean that we all should have religious belief. Yet, we should all have our belief towards life. sticking to your belief, however, doesn't mean being stubborn and unwilling to change when change is necessary. Just as Desmond did in the film, when the battle was fought on Sunday, the resting day of christians, he did go to the battlefield, because all the soldiers refused to go there without him. Colorful and rich material life breeds laziness. Persistence now, is what we lack and desperately need. Thoughts can sprout easily, but can not be carried out easily. When we fail in implementing our plans, we tend to find excuses most frequently by blaming the environment. We seldom stick to our point when a majority of people disagree with it. Although ,sometimes, Others consider me a bit strange, for I always think too much and have odd ideas, I still don't want to change, because it is all about me, and I am what I am. Another thing I am curious about after watching that film is the Japanese war history. It would be interesting knowing history from different countries' perspective. After all , we should be critical when it comes to history.

<div>In the workplace </div><div><br></div><div>Those days saw numerous dramas with gripping plots happening in the workplace, some of us being the character, and some onlooker. I used to be interested in that sort of gossip, however, having read some psychological books, I find myself a much more sensible and objective person. Of course, prejudgement is unavoidable. </div><div><br></div><div>Except for the bad remark on our new manager given by lots of colleagues and the falling sales under his management, he did not leave a very good impression on his subordinates. </div><div><br></div><div>Though he has taken in charge for nearly half a year, nobody in the company likes him, with regard to all his repellent deeds and words. I seldom make judgement only by hearing others' viewpoint, but living in the society and overwhelmed by all the negative voice towards him, I find it rather difficult not being affected. </div><div><br></div><div>Rumors and gossips are unavoidable as long as there are people. We all like to judge others and simultaneously attribute their behaviors to their disposition, ignoring the influence of environment. Besides, as a person can never be perfect, there is always something about him or her that doesn't match our expectation, something once grasped, we will never let it go. For example, an employer unsatisfied and irritated by his boss most frequently will vent his anger through complaining his boss with another person. Having been planted a negative idea about the boss, the one, once blamed by the boss will unavoidably badmouth his boss with his personal feeling of annoyance and the formed idea implanted. Day by day, that so called nasty character is magnified and spread. Then it finally turns into every employers' daily conversation. That actually is happening right now in my company. I have to admit at first i thought it was interesting, because when you feel bored, you will be delighted to have so many people around to joke with. But I soon was fed up with it -- everyday comes the same topic--complaining about the boss, while everyday sees no change. Others seem to have an everlasting enthusiasm towards it, which did puzzle me greatly. I began to ponder what the point of complaining sb all the time when actually there's nothing you can do about it. Of course, I don't want to be a freak. I don't want to stop them from complaining, which I in fact did but failed. So when they are moaning, I will try to find another place quieter to read a book. I learned that never make any attempt to stop a gang of people from doing something. Because when there is a debate between a single person and a group, 100% winning chance goes to the group, even though they sometimes stand in the wrong side. </div><div>Another thing I learned is that never try to persuade someone stubborn. Even if your advise is for their good, they won't listen, or worse, they may refute. As the sales were declining in the last few months, some colleagues lived a very easy life, they actually did not have much to do, and you can expect how annoyed our manager would be. He even dismissed A for she didn't live up to his expectation and with few clients, her position then seemed a huge waste, and our manager assigned C to do A's work as well as hers own. C, refused straightforwardly, saying it was not her responsibility and she would not take that even if he promised to increase her salary. And when the manager threatened her with the chance of firing her, she still stuck to her unwillingness to take charge, considering that Labor law would protect her from getting fired, since she was already a legal employer. After several talks, she held her position firmly. When she returned to the office, she began to hype on her gut to argue with the boss. H in the room, strongly supported her, saying "you are right, there is no way to do other's work, you should only do yours. Stick to your position. As long as you don't make mistakes, by no means can our manager fire you. " I, however, held the opposite opinion. In the private company, we all had done something beyond our duties. When we are fully occupied and cannot lend a single hand, we may have excuses to turn our manager down. But when sales are down, and you have nothing to do and your job is highly replaceable, you should accept doing extra part of work if you still want to stay in the company. Besides, labor law may protect you at present, but not forever. If the boss wants you to leave the company, he has millions of ways to drive you off.</div><div>Stupid me! I said what I thought to C, only to ignite her hasty toward me. They then pointed their finger at me. I immediately stopped saying more, because I soon realized that it was useless trying to persuade someone stubborn and someone who can never recognize her ability. After all, it needs competence to understand competence.</div><div><br></div><div>Fires in the workplace won't cease. I learnt it is important to stay away from all those and not to get involved in any. But who knows, as I am already in there, so possibly I have already set my foot in. Even though I don't like it, I have to live with it. </div><div><br></div>

" who cares the snow on your roof while his own doorstep is unclean" Several days ago, one of my closest friends visited me. We’ve known each other for almost 7 years since we were in high school. we were not classmates, but it seemed that there’s an invisible thread in our life that linked us together. Having similar disposition and sharing the same interests, we soon became friends. At that time, we had seemingly endless topics to talk about. I will not detail the topics here for some of them seem now a bit ridiculous. Time always slips away quickly, we graduated from high school and went to different universities of different provinces. We all strongly believe that time and distance never matter as long as we treasure our friendship. And indeed, we still kept in constant contact in university. Every time we had problems, we could always find each other our best listener. Later, we even went to the same city to work, miles away from our hometown, which brought us even closer. As college graduates, we found it never easy to land a job in such a city full of elites and talents. Though our parents spared us from the worries about monetary issues, we still had a tough time there. But for two young girl, it’s not difficult to seek for fun. We can always find ways to entertain ourselves. Memories of those days in life now revive just in front of my eyes. We meant to work together, but life played trick on us. Her father expected her to work in another province for better job opportunities while my family insisted that I should come back to my hometown. That’s when our path extended toward different direction. Occupied with our work, we seldom have time to contact each other or even meet each other. As a pessimistic person, I might have changed my belief of trusting friendship to doubting it, for most of the time, I did have. Even after I stepped into a much more complicated society and having seen so many friends become estranged by time and distance. I had lots of friends when I was a student. But several years after I graduated, I am losing most of them. I have to admit that it partly attributes to me. I seldom take initiatives and I am not so extroverted. My mother used to nag me over my bad interpersonal skills. But that’s just part of the story. Soon, I began to realize that when we are students, we have ample time to spend with our friends, most of whom, in fact are our classmates. So we simply and naturally can maintain our friendship well. Lack of common topics never happens among us as we experience almost the same things in life. But, after we graduate, society shows us a totally different picture. Maintaining friendship becomes far more difficult. I now learn that maintaining friendship requires time, energy and attention. Apart from maintaining friendship, making friends as well turns into a troublesome issue as it is written in the book How to Win Friend and Influence People by Dale Carnegie,” if you want to develop real friendships..... keep this principle in mind -- become genuinely interested in other people.” a sentence which resonates with me. what interests us most is not others or anything in the world but ourselves. Don’t try to get others interested in you, otherwise you will fail, and this is well evidenced by my recent experience. Several days ago, I was being haunted by some troubles and when I wanted to pour out all those to one of my friends, I failed to hear any responses. I was irritated and disappointed at first, but later I came to know that he doesn’t have that kind of troubles and can never understand that. What’s the point of blaming a person for not understanding your situation? Besides, I also learned that you cannot always rely on your friends to find solutions for you or to comfort you anytime you need. Do not ignore the fact that we have lots of different problems to deal with each day, and we all dedicate most of our time to our own affairs, who cares the snow on your roof while his own doorstep is unclean.By that, I don’t mean we can not count on friends, don’t get me wrong. Friend is inseparable part of our life. What I want to say here is that we should learn to be grateful when our friends spend their precious time listening to you or accompanying you and we shouldn’t be resentful when our friends haven’t contacted us for a while and neglect us sometimes, if we still value our friendship

“ everything gone cannot be brought back again, anything living should be treasured and cherished”. Three days ago, when I was at home enjoying my lunch with my parents and cousin, my mom received a phone call conveying bad news of your father's death. At first, my mom just didn't believe it, murmuring "how could it happen...several days ago, I had met him...he told me that he was getting better and shedding some pounds." Having heard the news, she lost her appetite, with tears in her eyes. I was also worried and sad, my mind turning back to the day when you were texting me in Wechat, your father, probably by your side, sent voice message through your account to me, joking about our age. Every time I saw him, he was always wearing a smile on his face. How optimistic and approachable he was. He was the kind of person who I was fond of. The teller asked my mom to keep that in secret, hoping that your mom, still hospitalized, didn't know it. Because that would be so big a blow that you mom could not survive. But bad news travels fast, faster than you can imagine. Though my mom, still overwhelmed by grief, stayed at home and didn’t speak to anyone, people in town, soon knew that. I didn’t know how they heard of it, but several minutes later, on the way to my grandma’s home, I found people talking about it. Fortunately, your mom was not in town. I now understand more than ever before that if you want to keep your secret, don’t breathe a word. I knew you were grieved, but I didn’t know how you could disguise your grief in front of your mom. You are indeed a grown-up man. Until yesterday, on the condition that your mom was better, you decided to tell your mom the truth. I caught up with your mom’s situation through contacting my mom. I didn’t contact you, not because I didn’t care about you. I know at that time comfort to you is useless. You are now swept by the grief of your father’s death and by worries about your mom’s health. To some extent, I can understand your feeling for I lost my father at an early age. We do not need comfort but company. Forgive me for not being able to stand by your side.I am not really eloquent, and don’t know what I should say to you. But, as I also had the same experience of losing the most important person in our life, I should tell you my feeling. Every time, when thinking of my father’s death, I will say to myself “ everything gone cannot be brought again, anything living should be treasured and cherished”.

I love reading books, especially those of psychology. And these days, I get plenty of time to read. But everytime I start reading, I find myself trapped in a "preface" dilemma. Is that part really useful and worth reading?