There are twelve of them-the gods who are in charge of the disease and illness of the world and their abilities are immeasurable and unthinkable for they can absorb one’s pains and tormenting illness all away just by a single finger and it all just flows into their bodies and disappears or they can inflict the same by obeying the natural laws and life circle. You may ask that do they born with those kinds of special and unfair powers and are they just feeling free at will to take away one’s life and happiness? Well, try not to be too curious and cynical because the destiny has set upon on everyone the minute you come to this world and we all have to die eventually for it just is a matter of time. Besides, their jobs are not as exactly as easy and relaxing as we think for it is scared and divined and if it is not them, someone would have to do it either. They have been chosen but they might not want to be as well because we don’t know what they’re going through. It’s always hard and painful to see all those pains, sufferings and even death. We just don’t know and could never understand as well. Sometimes, a particular kind of power bestowed upon a person doesn’t necessarily would be a good thing. It’s more like a sense of responsibility and obligation needed to be fulfilled. According to the mystical tales and myths, it is said that only when you’re on the verge of death and you’re almost lifeless and dying soon could you see them or not. It’s more like luck and fortunate, meaning that it’s not everyone shall have the chance to see them once in their lifetime. Therefore, no one is left in this world to describe how they look like exactly because the ones who have the opportunity to see them are already dead and in order to take a look for yourself, the expanse is death itself. It’s more like a vicious circle provided with no way out. Nevertheless, there are numerous versions of stories spreading outside about them and one said that they look very pale and human less and almost transparent, hard to distinguish them between the darkness and moonlight and others said that they are extremely beautiful and dignified and incredibly holy, only appearing on the dim and dismal nights. And when you see them actually for real, you need to close your eyes for a minute because they are glowing with dazzling beautiful lights and it’s just so splendid that it could harm your eyes. But I’d rather hope that it’s better to not see them because what they could bring is death and only death itself.

Scene one

A gust of wind flows into this icy-cold and lifeless room and there is such a girl lying on her bed but you can hardly realize that there would actually be someone in this room because the life here is too weak and undetectable. If you don’t say that there is a girl, I’m afraid that one could not know because the girl is hardly breathing much. She is so weak and pale and it’s like that she could literally die at any second. A man wearing long hair and white long robe appears here all of a sudden and his robe is really long and thin for you can see his compact and pale chest clearly and easily. Apart from all those odd parts, he looks so unbelievably beautiful and splendidly handsome. He lands on the little girl’s balcony and gazes through the curtain which is flowing and dancing with the mild wind and watches this little girl dying slowly. He is being told that there is a life that can be collected this evening and here he is, however, he could still feel her strong will to live and her persistent efforts to breathe so he just waits here patiently. All he could and would and should do is to wait. A nice young woman steps into this room quietly and brought with her is some porridges and carrots. The woman puts the stuff on the purple nightstand and looks sadly, grievously, worriedly and anxiously at her little daughter. She looks so grieved and sorrowful even if she is told and well-prepared for a long time ago that this little girl won’t last much longer for now. The woman buries her face in her hands and eventually, she runs out of this room, giving back this roomful of deadly silence and unknown grief and sufferings. Ah, the little girl suddenly groans out a muffled cry, which she is not supposed to do so but somehow magically, she just did. Out of curiosity, he floats into this room and stands ten feet away from her, looking so perplexedly and indifferently. The little girl struggles to open her heavy eyelids and the first thing strikes her eyesight is him. Her face is filled with surprises and unexpected joys. She exclaims that: “Wow, you’re so beautiful. I like you. Who are you?” There is only silence and no reply. He is not supposed to answer any questions nor speak. There are certain rules he must obey.

“Who are you?” The girl asks persistently. Still no sound…

“Ah… I see. You can’t speak, can you? That’s okay. I won’t think less of you because of that. Do you want to be friends with me?” Friends-there is a word he cannot understand. He wants to ask the meaning of the certain word “friends” but he successfully contains himself. Under no circumstances is he allowed to break the rules otherwise there would be severe consequences.

“I forget that you can’t speak. Come here, sit with me. My friend… If you don’t answer, then I can only suppose that you have given me your consent.” The little girl says placidly. She has no idea that what kind of trouble she is trying to bring into this house.

The God is so curious and surprised for this little girl is bound to die any minute soon but she still makes every effort to live. Why she has such powerful wish to live?

“Ah… So much pain… My friend, you see that I’m going to die now but I don’t want to leave my mother all alone in this world. She only has me. She told me that daddy left us the day when I was born. And she doesn’t want to tell me anything else about him no matter how many times I ask her. I have never seen him my entire life so I’m a little worried that after I die, I still don’t know how to find him. But that doesn’t matter much now. Can you look after my mom? I don’t want to leave her alone in this world either but that’s not my choice to make. I can’t control it. Can you do that for me?” He said nothing again.

“Ah, ah…No…” The little girl murmurs to herself in a light tone for she doesn’t want to drive her mother’s attentions. At least she could do is to die quietly so that her mother doesn’t have to see her suffer and die painfully. She wants her mother to be happy.

“Will…you…prom…ise….me? Please…” The girl pleads sincerely and calmly…

“But… I know that it is a lot to ask…But…”

“If you really can’t, that’s okay. I can’t compel you to do anything since you’re my friend now. That’s okay. I won’t blame you.”

“That’s okay. You can go now. Let me die quietly and alone. I don’t want you to see me die too.”

“What if I could make you live?”

Scene two

In the underworld (Hell)

There is a young man knees down in front of a man looks like a judger and a dark desk which is filled with countless books and pens and looks quite messy.

“Do you know that what have you done? You can’t just change a person’s life-or-death status at your free will. Have I not warned you that there would be severe consequences? It’s unforgivable completely and entirely.” The judger says with anger and scold.

“I’m aware of that. You can punish me as much as you want. Just leave that girl alone. She is innocent.”

“What… I thought that after all those thousands and thousands of years, you should have already put all those judgments about life and death away. Can’t you see that there is no definable boundary between those two things? As long as she is really such a nice and kind girl as you presumed, her afterlife would have become much better. You thought that you’re helping her, didn’t you. Well, you’re not. You’re totally wrong. Have I not taught you well? Why would you do something like this?”

“I can’t regret or undo what I have already done. So, just punish me…” The man cries bravely and hopefully.

“All right… Once, you’re the most promising kid I have ever seen but now you’re destroying yourself for what… You listen to me, that you will endure the three most unbearable kinds of sufferings and torments in this world-miseries brought by hatred, separated and yet still loving and yearning and yet unobtainable. Every human life reincarnation, you would watch the loved one of yours to die and you could do nothing to stop it. And only when you completed this trial shall you return to your position again. Do you hear me clearly?”

Scene three The first life

miseries brought by hatred 怨憎会苦

At least it’s a good start. The young soul comforts herself. Although he is an infant and was abandoned by his own parents, she has the luck to pick him up as soon as she comes into this mortal world and then she is already considered herself as extremely fortunate because it saves the troubles to look for him. He is already here, to be more precise, in her arms. What could she possibly expect more? What if the worst outcome is to never find him, which is a nightmare she could never accept. She has to repay the enormous debts she owed him and helps him through those fearsome consequences and then maybe when they have cleared off the debts, and then she could leave peacefully and pursue the next life for after all, he helped prolonged her life for another ten years so that she would spend more time with her mother. She is so grateful for what he did and feels so sorry that the troubles she has brought upon him. Actually, what she doesn’t know is that he has to suffer every life and she thought as long as he is safe and happy, there would be no serious matters and everything would be fine. It’s easy and all she has to do is bring him up and then stands by his side until he dies naturally.

Eighteen years later

“Are you sure that you’re really my mother? I mean, how can you never aged a day and still look exactly the same as I remembered ever since I have memories?” A good-looking young man is drinking water by the table and a young woman is packing his belongings for he will soon leave for the capital to take the exams in order to serve the country and make a small contribution even if it is slight enough, it would all be worth it. That’s what his mother has always taught him-to be a kind and helpful person.

“Why would you always say the exact same thing? Aren’t you bored by your boring spirits?” The woman says amusingly. And she continued: “Now, everything is packed for and well-prepared. Remember that even if you don’t win the first place, don’t feel frustrated and despaired. Just come home for I’m always been here waiting for you. All that matters to me is you and your safety. Be safe. Don’t have too many pressures.” She pats him on his shoulders and looks at his shadow gradually disappear out of her sight. The young man has made up his mind to not let his beloved mother down and despite the speech she just made, he still wants to make his own mother pound.

A year later in one afternoon, she stands below the shadow of the lofty and big tree trunk in order to avoid the direct exposing of brunt sunlight, waiting patiently for him to purchase some medicinal materials. After a while, she could see him walking step by step towards her and with the special effect of the sunlight, in her eyes, he looks so handsome and glorious in a way she has never thought of him before. She signs in her deep heart that after all, he has grown up and much to her comforts; her son now is so upright and honest just as she always wished. He has won the first place in the examination and as soon as he is honored with the official position, he comes to pick her and they live together in the capital. Since he is weak and feeble ever since he is a little kid, she would always cook a varied range of medicined diets to help him nourish his body and maintain fundamental health conditions and there is no exception about this time. When they are sitting there eating, she suddenly asks that: “Son, I heard that the neighbor’s daughter is still available and since you’re already not young, what do you think of a…”

“Mother, I told you that right now, my main focus is in the enterprise and to serve the country. Therefore, you shouldn’t be concerned about that sort of things.” He says punctiliously and seriously.

“But there is no direct contradiction in those two matters. If you’re married, then she could help you as well…” She tries to reason with him persistently.

“Mother, let us not argue about this issue anymore. I know what’s best for me. You can be reassured. Have some faith in me.” He declared his position steadfastly and firmly. She looks at him significantly, wondering why her usually obedient son would defy her good intentions on this matter for so many times.

Later on, he has done his part and responsibility quite well so the emperor starts to pay attention to him and due to the appreciation of his political insight and honorable spirits; the emperor has the desire to promote him. Therefore, the emperor sends out the superb prime minister to inspect and examine this young man to see if he could verify his potentials and the emperor’s presumptions. Then the prime sets up a meeting at his home and invites them to dine with them. Unfortunately, the prime claims to love his mother at first sight and is fascinated about her. In exchange for his career, the prime demands him to offer his mother as a gift but he refuses without even a slightest hesitation, which displeases the prime greatly and the prime swears to destroy him if he insists upon his own wishes and stand. His mother tries to persuade him too because after all, in her mind, she is meant to help him and not the other way around. She doesn’t care what would happen to her as long as he is safe and happy. She doesn’t want to bring unnecessary troubles to him. However, he says soothingly in a reassuring way that she should not be worried about anything and he would handle everything perfectly. All she should do is to trust him and he would protect her at any cost. Although it is extremely hard and he intends to make a desperate attempt, the prime still can’t steal a person in the bright daylight so the prime whispers some rumors into the emperor’s ears. Worse still, the emperor believes the prime’s craft that his mother is a monster because she never ages a day. In order to make the truth shine through and testify her son’s innocence, she is left with no other choice but to die to justify the truth because monsters would never truly perish. Therefore, when he finds her, she is already no longer with him on her bed with poison left and sprinkled alongside her skim body. He clutches at her arms, lost with sound and emotion and protesting the unfairness and injustice silently what they had done to his mother and him. The maleficence and wrongdoing is unpardonable and his heart is bellowed with rage and infinite grief. The young soul flows out of her body, looking at him melancholy and gloomily for some time and returns to the hell.

Scene four

While she is waiting patiently for his next life, one day she encounters another god with the ability to absorb the illness and inevitably, they have a little chat.

“You’re still waiting for him?” The god asks politely.

“Yes… But do you know how is he doing up there? Is he quite well?” She asks with an air of care and concern.

“I’m afraid that it would only disappoint you. You see that after your death, he has a mental break down and he only wants to seek vengeance for you and he spent twenty years to prepare and take out the prime’s entire family. He is ruined with hatred and resentment. Now, he has fulfilled his destiny. I think that you would see him quite soon. He is in such a bad shape and nearly dying now.”

“He… Why would he do that? I thought that after I was gone, it would all…” She has never expected that things would end up so badly and it is her that triggers and causes his endless sufferings.

“No, you should not be worried. If it is not you, then someone else would bring that mishap to him as well. You’re just happened to replace that essential role in his life.”

“But…”

“No, the time is up. I will come to collect him now. I will see you later then.”

Scene five The second life

separated and yet still loving 爱别离

This time, she happens to be the daughter of a rich and influential family and he is her guard, which is very convenient. At first, she thought that it is pretty simple and easy for as long as she stays at this place and watches for him and then not a single threat and peril would happen to him. This time, she would stay at his side and would never let anything bad happen to him again. However, things would never just happen as one always expected and she is engaged to another big and wealthy family. Naturally, she doesn’t want to do that because her sheer and only quest is to help him and nothing else, thereupon, one night, she summons him to her room and closes the door tightly.

“Jack, I’ve something that I wish you could do for me.”

“By all means, Miss. Whatever you say, I would honor it with my life like I would always do.” He says submissively and inferiorly.

She seems to be quite pleased with his attitudes and says that: “I need you to help me get away from this house. We need to run away from here.”

“Miss, that is quite serious. Why would you want to do that? Everyone treats you well and kindly in this house especially your parents.” He cannot understand her reckless and unreasonable behaviors.

“I know. I know that. They have been really nice to me. But the thing is, I don’t want to marry someone I don’t love. Do you know what I mean?”

“But you have never seen that man in your life. How can you be so sure that you will not love him? Don’t you want to give him a chance?”

She starts to grow tried of this conversation and finds a pretext to deceive him quickly. She cries that: “Because… That is because… Because I am in love with someone else and now, you can see that it is impossible for me to love whatever who it is that man. Come, if you are unwilling to help me, you can go but be quiet. I will find another way myself.”

“… No… I’ll help you.”

And it turns out that Jack is quite immensely formidable and inconceivably good and then they just insidiously leave this house and go to another place. She is accustomed to the poor and miserable life conditions based on the experiences from the first life so she can live quite well. But Jack is buried with a seed of worries in his deep heart that his decision and impulse might be wrong for all the time and he fears that he cannot bring happiness to her. She has no knowledge of his worries and she thought that it is for their own best. The promising days don’t last long and when she finds that she is severely ill, she is so perplexedly and doubtful. Why would this happen? How would this happen again? She tries to make every effort to comfort him and stay alive and she could not. She is destined to fail again. She knows that she is going to die soon.

One gloomy night, he is at her bedside, gazing at her pale and pallor face and praying pleadingly to not let her die. When she opens her eyes and see the plaintive expression on his face, she says to him that: “Jack, everyone needs to die and so am I. You shouldn’t be so sad. You need to move on with your life. It’s all my fault. I shouldn’t have asked you to do this for me otherwise you would have a nice wife and maybe a dozens of kids around you. Do you blame me, Jack?”

He tries to contain himself and let tears not fall down. He just shakes his head and couldn’t utter a word to say to her. He puts her icy-cold hands into his leathery hands, hoping to bring her at least one bit of warmness.

“Who is that man you say you are in love with? You said that after we get away, he would be here looking for you but after all those days, he still hasn’t come. Now, you might not have much time left. You need to tell me who he is and I would bring him to you. Let you unite with him.”

She smiles at him rather palely and lifelessly. “No, you can’t because he is already here. He is always here.” She regarded him with wide eyes and her eyes radiated with deep sorrow.

Jack was transfixed for quite some time because he has never thought that… After all, their distance and difference is so distinguished and fearsome. But why this has to happen at this last minute when there is no hope and wish left, whereupon, he cries so hopelessly and helplessly than ever and he feels a pure vacancy and hollow in him. He should have the courage to tell her his feelings concealed so long so deep in his heart a long time ago and now, the chance is being ripped of from him forever. Only if separating would be so painful and unbearable, why would this world still need to have that sort of thing? 如若离别一定如此痛苦与不堪，那么世间为何又要有别离？

Scene five

In the hell

The another god returns to her as promised and says to her that: “I don’t mean to pry, but do you truly love him? You know that you’re forbidden to do so.”

“What do you think? After all those sufferings and hardships we have been through and what he has done for me, how can I remain indifferent and untouched?”

“But this can’t end well and you have to think over it clearly because you see that he will forget you all his life and as soon as he complete his trial, he would become his old self and he will remember nothing about you. As to him, you’re like never existed in his life. Can you live with that outcome?”

“Whether I want it or not, I still have to accept the results. There is nothing I could do to change it. So, my only wish is that I could help him through his final trial and then I will leave peacefully as I said. All that matters is that I could repay my debts. Nothing else is more important than that now.”

“All right… You are a nice girl. I wish you luck. I don’t know whether I could see you again or not. However, I do hope that I will not have to see you in my entire life.”

“Thank you…”

Scene six The third life

yearning and yet unobtainable 求不得

It’s already been ten years since she comes to this world and she has stayed with him with a distance for ten years. He is a monk who worships Buddhism and wants to devote his entire life to this holy career. He lives in this temple and is brought up by the elders at this place. He loves everything about it. However, since she comes to this temple to pay respects to the Buddha, there is something in him and about him changed although he doesn’t know what it is. He just knows that things can’t go back to the way it was previously before. He feels like that this girl is so familiar and he has been known her for his entire life. Those ten years, he could always see her come to here and occasionally, they would have a word. To be more precise, it is not word because he is born with defect that lack the ability to communicate naturally but he is really surprised that when he finds out that she could use gestures to exchange words with him. Initially, he suspects that she was like him but it turns out that she could speak rather fluently. Besides, there are some constant recollections of some memories about her playing in his mind endlessly. He doesn’t know why. But he is a religious monk, that is to say, that he would never betray his beliefs and convictions. Their friendship is rather mild and even imperceptible. For the past ten years, at least he would always see her and he selfishly forms an idea in his mind that if she would never be worried, then he would always see her but he knows it in his deep heart that it is almost impossible. His heart is tormented with desire and yet it is impossible to realize. Much to his surprises, she really accompanies by the side of the Buddha for her entire life and she is never married. 青灯古佛，如水淡之友谊，伴他们一生时光。漫谈时光流逝，如水般，清澈无杂,没有任何羁绊与痛楚。

Scene seven

There is a young girl’s soul staring at the dirty and colorful river flowing alongside the river bank and she remains motionless like this for some time now. She doesn’t want to pursue her next life, hoping to stall some time for herself. However, she knows that nothing would happen no matter how much time she wasted here.

“You’re here. I found you at last. I’ve been looking for you everywhere.” A young man says joyfully.

“It’s you. You remember me? How can it be?”

“What… Do you still wish to conceal your feelings and never tell me the truth? Come here. We have things to do. You’re not allowed to leave me again since I have come to so much great length to find you. If I remember correctly, you have already deserted me for four times.”

“Um…”