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Single? Live differently.
2016-01-24

Being single is a life style. We cannot say it is an alternative. It is well established civil status and there are many people permanently or temporarily living single. Perhaps in primitive societies where stoning and lashes are still being frequently practicing, staying single would be a challenge, however in developed and civilized world being single is not a problem and there is no vulnerabilities even for a single old women in terms of security and welfare. There are millions of people living among us enjoying the single lifestyle, where they can have financial freedom, own choices on everything, selection of carrier opportunities and lot of free time to involve with thousands of people rather than investing their time and energy for few people in the name of family.

However, things get awkward when it comes to living among others. Poor people, who do not have common topic to talk about, take the single person as the object of attention. They ask why you are not still married? It would be better if the singles prepared a tape with an explanation. However, nothing will satisfy them as their objective is to show off how happy they are in their married life, and how blessed their life with kids and partner. Then it comes the most disgusting thing, which is the unsolicitated matchmaking. “HeyHoney, I got a brother/sister of my aunt who is looking pretty young though he is 45, guy had gambling/psycho problem too, Aunt says not anymore. But everything will be ok when you got married to him/her. Do you like?” This drama drives most of single people mad. Additionally awkward proposals and sexual advancements, selfish dating request in which they are the expendable, suspicions from silly women and men about their young kids and partners, baseless gossips … to name few of troubles in single life, especially in Asian societies. However, agony of this matter is non of these problems are the problems of singles or being single, but it is the mind set of others. And did I say about the pressure from family, specially from parents. Oh my goodness, let us not talk about it. It will make my blog post a novel.

Singles will never get rid of these problem if they live the life of others. If they work/study and go back to home and live the life of others, I hardly believe they will have a relief. I think singles should uplift their life to a bigger cause. Simply, they should bring their singleness as an advantage and select many things for their life.

Climb the carrier ladder to the top

Singles do not need listen to mutterings of others who cannot give the 100% to their job. They can give maximum to the job, go extra two miles even three if it is necessary. Takeaway some work to their home, do in it their home study room. Guaranteed they will drive other co-worker crazy. However, they cannot help it. Do they want to live a life of sympathy or life of admiration? They should bring their single status as an advantage. Being powerful is only way to drive most of unwanted things away from life. With money and position, people will have the power of choosing what they really want.

Select millions of children than making a one or two children.

There are millions of children dying in hunger, cold or even in wars all around the world. Singles can select a bigger cause of saving these innocents kids living in darkest parts of the world. I am sure it will be rewarding and much pleasurable.

Join a big society

There are very big global movements in world, in which they empower innocents as well as their own members. In this terms they will have a family with millions members who are there to embrace wherever they travel/work/study in world.

Travel more

Traveling will be wonderful thing for a single as 100 % of choices in the program will be their own, but it does not mean they have to travel alone. They can select their program by own. That is what I mean.

Enjoy more, border their pleasures without guilty

Everyone knows what I meant. Period.


The reason I write this article, as I have seen single people being discriminated cruelly, specially with horrible terms such as left over women or men. Recently I have seen a trend going on shaming the single men now, previously it was women. Statistical stories about 117 men to 100 women… who say this bullshit? Now we are living in global world, world is our village now. Let narrow-minded people to live their miserable life and die their own way, let us all enjoy the advanced and civilized world and bring the civilization forward a little.


About Author :- I am Sube 苏贝 a PhD scholar in Zhejiang University. I love writings blogs, columns and articles for online or offline publications. Contact me if you want articles for your website, newspaper or magazine which related to life, motivation, carrier, science, technology and innovation. Wechat 微信: subezji or email: xiaosube@hotmail.com

Comment

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sube 2016-02-23 14:52

Thank you for your comment.

J.E.Overington 2016-02-16 10:00

These are good suggestions. I've done some of the same and omitted some, with reason. For example, I give to child soldiers who show the genuine identity while entering a relevant range of topics in a relevant way. Others, that are the core problem in the focus of the highlighted blog, chat as though unaware of war, talking only of themselves, only of their entire range of all interests all being only sexual/reproductive, and their unwillingness to balance in society, their unwillingness to develop an iota of emotional maturity, comprehension, sensibility, empathy, or community. In the hostile warzones that others force, singles have to live nomadic lifestyles from contract to contract. Others violently and vehemently prevent singles from having a plant, from having a pet, because the only activity others are willing to fund is sex obsession. A single person able to contribute 100% to the career doesn't matter since others won't pay, others break any laws in writing to try avoiding paying, others make hostile environments to wish avoidance of raising & promotions normal to being the top one at work. So the sensible contract for singles so grossly ex-communicated for being aware of interesting topics distinct from sex obsession is for us singles to have double the pay now for half the work now, since we've endured troublesome others for decades, so we have spare time to invest in something interesting yet far beyond the comprehension of others, such as science, business. Singles can't wisely do tourism because others see that as a good chance to rape, pillage, break promises, and so, singles on holiday best enjoy the holiday at home being paid per contract to work on something interesting that others can never hope to comprehend. Others owe everything to us.

sube 2016-01-26 12:23

Wow, you are really "Enlighting" person. It is really good to have this sort of disagreement.

sube 2016-01-26 12:22

Thank you very much for comments. It is a great to be strong and wait for someone who really fit to your life rather than be agitated by the voice of the society and jump into married life with really not matching person.

enlighting 2016-01-25 22:08

You summarized it very well the life of 'singles'. Although, I do not agree with all of your opinions but the points you raised were good.

jaseminsibo 2016-01-25 14:27

i am single by choice! errrr well, there is a secret longing to share my life with a special other....but if i don't meet that person i can be happy single too.

sube 2016-01-25 13:17

Thank you for your comment.

AndrewCraven 2016-01-25 13:16

All I know is human beings need to interact with others ,no matter he/she is single or married.

sube 2016-01-25 11:07

Thank you for comprehensive and well read comment.

seneca 2016-01-25 09:41

You defended the status of bachelors eloquently, though the arguments were not particularly new. In one sentence: singles deserve as much respect as others even if they never raise families because they accumulate more wealth than each member of a regular couple would do… It is a materialistic rationale, and that disturbs me.

The obvious criticism that you thus invite is that singles are selfish. Maybe they are not more so than others but your argument was about their material advantages.

Let us face the truth: many singles stay singles because of a fear they might not have enough social skills to adapt to being padlocked together with a spouse. They want to remain independent and the way they are rather than learn how to make compromises, the art of diplomacy and coexisting. Singles can ignore other people even as they interact with them; they may get what they expect from others and give something in return - but having one-nightstands serially is not a character-stabilising exercise.