House is a prerequisite for marriage in China
2014-08-10
Nowadays, house means far more than a place for warmth and rest in China, which has become an external manifestation of one's fortune and social status. Most women would find it risky and unacceptable to get married without a flat. What's more, woman would be more interested in where the house locates and how many square meters it is than a man himself. Here are several stories which happened around me.
Story 1
Mr J is a handsome man with a well-paid job in Beijing. Two years ago, Mr J met a girl Miss L who just came back after graduation in Britain. They both had a big crush on each other and had a great fun for a whole year. However, Mr J holds that he cann't afford a house in Beijing for Miss L who always has a life of privilege. Hence, Mr J broke up with his lover because he can not have a steady life in Beijing. Now, Mr J's only heed is paid to earn money as much as he can, so one day he will own a big house in a big city , and finally get married.
Story 2
Originally, Mrs A rent an appearance house which is to do some business. In order to expand her business, she intends to buy the rent one and purchase another house for her son who just came back from the vet. A few days ago, Mrs A told me that there are many matchmakers introduce girls to her son. I asked " Do you worry that some girls pays much attention to your houses rather than your dear son?" She replied " Well, if you do not have a house, there is nothing to talk about, let alone tie the knot." I'm amazed about her practical but reasonable answer. What matters most in marriage? House or true love? Is this a stupid question?
Story 3
After a quarrel, Miss G does not want to reconcile with her boyfriend any more. But all relatives persuade her that she should take the chance and marry her current boyfriend, siince that man has an old house in Nanjing. In other words, she is going to be rich one day when the old house is demolished. Now the wedding day is fixed.
I do not want to show you how worldly Chinese girls are! That is not my purpose, period.
Chinese girls may be more practical and mature to choose a guy for getting married in order to lead a better life.
I am stll shocked about the strictly utilitarian role of a house plays, which is beyond the flowing emotion from bottom of hearts.
If you ask me am I willing to get married without a house, I am not sure. WILL YOU?
What would satisfy you? Will one mansion be enough? Or will two be safer. What if you meet some guy that owns three mansions? What will will I do then? Could we agree on a figure maybe? ((: Im just kidding. All this supermaterialism is a bit silly though.
The world also needs bigger goals than consumer confidence. Economy must be secondary.
I agree with KIyer in a way. But the problem is that women will always seek the alpha and in a materialistic society the alpha is the guy that can provide most materialism for a female. This is the most important thing.
In my opinion we need to move to a virtue based society. In a virtue based society station becomes more important or as important as wealth. This is key.
Of course materialism is important but it cant be everything because it will cause degeneration of society. In a materialist society it is more difficult to control the public because they are encouraged to never be satisfied and to never believe that enough is enough.
Virtue based society is the way of the future. In my opinion.
You make me want to work harder so I can afford a mansion or two btw. (: Hhh. On Fox Extra there is a segment that looks at the new 'micro-unit' craze in the USA. Its a big thing there because of how Americans are so very poor these days and cant afford an impressive place to live. Fox host Jenni Lee said that she thought the micro-units looks "pretty cool" but she looked as though she would be very disappointed if she went back to your place with you for coffee and found that you live in a micro-unit. (:
Hey, but doesnt the fact that Chinese women are becoming all independent and stuff make you Chinese ladies more able to put marriage off until later in life? So why so serious? You could have fun with me before you find some guy with a massive house couldnt you? ( hypothetically ) What is the rush? Soon people in China will be getting divorced at high rates anyway so why even bother getting married? If Chinese females work hard enough they will be able to afford their own big houses. Anyway, I think we need a virtue based society.
It seems very much like China is becoming USA. That is bad.
I've said it before: in any developed country, when you hear a girl with the kind of pretensions most Chinese families impose on their daughters, you immediately thinks she's a gold digger. If a New York friend told me she wouldn't accept a guy without a car, I'd laugh cause nobody drives there. If a New York girl told me she wants a guy with an apartment, I'd start to think she's gold digger. Cause that's unrealistic. And Beijing real-estate is more expensive than New York nowadays--which is another joke in itself. There's just a huge generation gap, and most people are not fighting back against it because it's not Chinese to fight with your parents--understandable--but things definitely need to change. That kind of pressure is too much for young men and women to endure.
I am so flattered.
I will go on my writing which i have been away for a long time.
You're Welcome! You are a good writer and your topics are of interest!
A toast to you for winning "The excellent participants" in the blogging contest, Well Deserved!
A toast to you for winning 3rd place in the blogging contest, Well Deserved!
One thing I've learned from american politics is that setting the best economic policy is the most important thing. The Chinese having economists at the top is the best way to go. Every system has its advantages and drawbacks. The life cycle of a democracy is about 200 years. America is at about 237. IN any event, America for practical purposes has been the superpower of the 20th century. The competition from China will be a good dose of medicine. Competition always brings out the best. I just hope a cold war mentality can be avoided and a partnership instead would be far better.
haha, that is a really special view about the difference between Chinese and America.
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