A Magic Time
2014-04-26
I think that most of us have something what could be called a magic time. A magic time is a period in your past which you remember from time to time very vividly with a sense of beauty and appreciation of all what happened during that magic time. For me one of this kind of time was during my three visits to United States. I lived in a small University town - Columbia in the State of Missouri. My last place was in so called University Terrace - a group of about twenty to thirty, two floor height, houses for mostly students and their families. That whole Terrace territory was inside of a not so little forest park. You could often see squirrels around, a few times I saw a few deer wandering not far away from the living houses. Once very late in the evening I even met a raccoon. He was so cute, standing on his two legs behind a tree, a watching me as I was walking by. He looked like a little alien being, or a gnome, who appeared conscious and intelligent. During that magic time I remember not only the nature that was around, animals who could be seen often, or an owl who would hoot late in the evening, but I also remember all amazing people that I got to know there. I miss a lot of them, and from time to time remember our talks or gatherings together. I also remember myself working as a delivery guy for a Chinese food restaurant. It was a special experience to drive around the city with your own car and deliver Chinese food to all those non-Chinese Americans. Often those little encounters when a door opens and you pass a bag of meal, take some tips, would become into a little conversation. And conversation may have turned out into a little new world with its own emotions, thoughts and feelings. I miss that magic time, but I miss it in a joyous way. I know that at then, it may have not looked that magic as it looks now, because life is full of little problems and issues, but now it does like certain magic. The worries have passed a way, and the beauty of experience has remained.
Another magic time for me for was my first four months in China, then it turned into two years, and then even into a longer time period. I focus on those four months, because magic time usually can not last forever. It needs a break from time to time. During those four months in China, particularly Nanjing, I didn't see many squirrels running around. Neither did I see slowly walking deer, sneakily observing me racoons or owls hooting in the evening. There was also not so much of the forest around. But nevertheless the experience was not less magic as it was later in Missouri State. People say that you can't find nowadays mystery or ancient wisdom in China. Most of young people even haven't read "Analects" of Confucius. But I did find and could feel bits of that mystery in my daily life, especially in the beginning, while I was that unspoiled fresh foreign student, hungry for learning Chinese language and getting to now better Chinese people.
On my first train trip from Beijing to Nanjing, where I had to sit for 18 hours during night and didn't have a chance to sleep, I had quite a few interesting conversations with passengers. A lot of them didn't hide their interest in me, and even finding out that I didn't speak much of Chinese they still did try to communicate with me in other ways. There was one youngster who knew English, so eventually he started to talk with me more and interpret for others. I always remember a father who was traveling with his daughter through the night, but the whole time he had this naturally happy smile, and didn't show any signs of tiredness, in spite of the fact that he was not even sitting, but standing most of the time. The guy who spoke English also admonished me later that if I wanted to experience China how it was before, I should get up early in the morning and go to the parks. I am so grateful to him for that advice.
Soon after arriving, after a few days, around 5 o'clock in the morning or a bit later, I actually walked to a closest park in Gulou. I was pleasantly surprised to meet an old guy dressed in black martial clothes and practicing some kind of kungfu with a long stick. When you see these kind of morning events, especially if you haven't seen that before, it does look amazing and quite surprising. It does rise in you respect for the people and a wish to practice something similar. What is also special about the China mornings, that from 4:30 till about 7:00 am, everything is so different. The sounds, the rhythm, even how people behave and walk, all of that even remotely does not remind the busy life during the day. And it does feel quite strongly as if you go back into ancient times. If you haven't got up early in the morning and walked to a park, you don't know China, even if you stayed here for a few years.
Every day was a new experience, a new word learned, a new idea discovered. Every person was also a new opportunity, a new chance into something that was unknown. How often a simple hello or "ni hao" in a street eventually would turn into a longer talk, a more intensive exchange of smiles and gestures of friendliness. How could one not call that a magic time? Not mentioning that what I wrote here are just little crumbles of all the things and events that happened.
However, to put some salt into the magic, there was a time when suddenly a lot of charm at least temporarily disappeared. And for me that was after about 4 months of stay here. One day, the good positive mood that was accompanying me most of the time, suddenly had gone. From nowhere I started having these pessimistic thoughts. I realized that initially it seemed that I would make a lot of interesting Chinese friends, that would lead me into some kind of deeper understanding of Chinese culture and things around. But at that time I found that it only seemed that it was so easy to make friends with Chinese. When you look around yourself and count, you find out that you haven't made even one real friend, and that you are still a foreigner who does not understand well enough what is going around. And that you are not accepted as one among the many. You are not a Chinese after all. These thoughts were only part of my pessimism, some pessimistic moods come suddenly without being asked, without giving you a cause for their visit. I thought, maybe all that positiveness up till then was just a dream, just my imagination, inability to see what was real?
Fortunately, the pessimism was just a matter of a few hours, or days, and things did went back to their brighter side. While I was in Lithuania, I came with this explanation once, that our life is like a spiral. Sometimes we walk on one circle of that spiral, and we meet only certain people, only certain kind of events happen to us, only certain experiences and moods visit us. But at some turning point, when we start a new circle of that spiral, we start meeting completely different and new people, new kind of events start happening to us, new ideas also begin coming into our minds and hearts. At that turning point you may find that in the same house, next door to you, lived someone whom you never met before, but who eventually became your friend or a teacher. Your potential friend or even a teacher of life can live for many years in close physical proximity from you, and you would never know until the time comes. Until you start making the right circle of your life spiral. Sometimes to start that circle you need to discover something, or to get rid of some old habit or shortcoming.
The same in China, everything is in spirals. You stay one day, you see it one way. Two months - a big difference. Two years - and a lot of incredible things may happen, that you even could not imagine if you left her - China - in just a year. One needs time to dig deeper. Well can't be dug by jumping from one place into another. One needs to focus in one direction with one's whole strength, that is how the water under the grounds is being reached. Let's not be jumpers, let's go deeper. And thanks a lot to someone who pointed this to me long ago.
After 5 months of my studies of Chinese language, my leaving time was approaching. I had a ticket back to Lithuania, my government's scholarship was about to end. I didn't have any work or additional income. And my parents were not in position to support me either. I was going into a depression. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to leave China after mere 5 months of studies. What can you learn in such short amount of time? I really wanted to stay longer, but I had no rational idea how to make it happen. No more scholarship, no income for tuition fee, no work. And if I somehow stayed longer I had no place to live, because the University's dormitory would start charging me 900 RMB per month. A situation without a way out, that is how it seemed.
However, by that time, I had a strong believe, that what has to happen would happen, and you can't walk away from what is predestined. Still, often some conscious participation is needed for predestined to actually happen. We participate in our destiny. I knew that the wise thing to do is to gather my dissipated will and to stop worry and feel depressed. But instead to calm down, to become quiet, and listen for an answer that comes from within. At first, for a few days in a row I would just stay in my dorm feeling depressed about my inevitable leave. At some point later, a clear thought came about calming down and listening for a solution from within. I followed the thought, and instead of continuing to be passive, did manage to calm down and focus within. And soon after I acquired that quietness, I did see a solution. It was suddenly clear that there is one person who might help me. I just need to go and see her.
Then I actually did go and see the person who I felt could somehow help me. And it was indeed the right person. She immediately told me that she had an idea to try, and her idea worked out well. As I see now, if I went to a wrong person I may have ended up going back on my plane to Lithuania. An unexpected help came, first from within, and then from outside. Gradually, step by step, I got a solution on how to stay longer, and to continue my studies, as well as living in China.
Mission impossible was accomplished. A new circle of a spiral had started. And the magic time had been continued. Remember your own magic time and cherish it, it might be your source of strength in a difficult moment of your life.
A friendly smile on my first train trip from Beijing to Nanjing in 2001 August:
Two cute kids with their grandma, they have accompanied me most of the trip:
The father who could stand most of the time during the night in the train and stay in a good mood (believe me it was so tiring not to sleep through the night even if you were sitting):
My diligent volunteer Chinese-English interpreter:
Me with some Chinese salesmen during my first week in Nanjing, on a road which turned out to be our main path from dorm to the classes. I didn't agree to buy anything from what they were selling, but it didn't affect their mood or friendliness. At that time I still didn't mind people taking pictures with me:
What a wonderful story. Yes, when life throwsyou lemon, make lemonade out of it.
Actually I didn't know about that new law. Really interesting law indeed!
I'm sure you know about the new law that states Chinese are not to randomly photograph foreigners, and the Chinese are not to ask foreigners to pose with them. I don't think random photographing will ever stop, but it is nice to know the Chinese government is concerned about overly photographed foreigners.Have a great day!
No, it wasn't creepy. Just I lived in 9 floor building and in front there was a lot of green nature. Beautiful scenery. No creepy thoughts whatsoever.
I don't remember every visual detail either. Memory is a tricky thing.
Looking out of the window during "not a happy time"... Sounds creepy!
But yes, I agree that those were magic "moment"s. And unfortunately my visual memory is so bad that my feelings and thoughts of that time are very vivid, whereas the actual scenery I was looking at is quite blurry :(
A description on wiki is here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kites_(film) But don't read the plot before you watch it! It was one of my favorite movies. Look forward to you feedback on it!
I dance with my gf in the evenings sometimes just to teach her. Sadly, it's been difficult to get interest in Harbin to start my own classes. The university here doesn't help by blocking you with a ton of rubbish before you start anything.
I haven't seen kites but I shall go have a watch and get back to you :)
I kept backing up them from year to year. But I didn't show them to a lot of people.
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