Getting involved in higher purpose helps me not keep distracted by lots of nasty thoughts which I had gotten habitual of without knowing about that.
Negativs thoughts interfere with the natural flow of life. I never quit writing how I felt or feel still. I tried to find 'my purpose' on paper, with self dialogue, it's was sometimes impossible to think and write due to not being able to get out of bed. I still did what I could. I feel so proud of myself today.
Writing, reading and watching positive videos help. It was more enjoyable to read and write than only getting confused and being unused to self and others. In the end I figured that thinking, writing, and helping people understanding self is what my calling was, is.
I was unaware of that. I was doing it for peace, pleasure, recording all kinds of good and bad mental states of mine, I was digging deeper into self through pen and notebook.
Higher purpose helps recover from past trauma. I have moved ahead into the direction of my soul and I be the captain. I shed old layer to get to the core where fear and doubt have no place.
You, my friend, are doing just fine as long as you live with the moment as gratitude and not complaining. Universe doesn't like or dislike anything. She just gives you more of what you feel so strongly about. Fear? , or love?
I choose latter.