Never underestimating yourself
2016-02-29
Recently, a friend of mine kept asking me a question--was she ugly? I always told her that you are beautiful in my eye and I think you have an unique pesonal charm, which cannot be duplicated. When she asked me such a question the first time, I supposed that she was hurt by others’ opinions adout her, so, as her best friend, giving her some proper but not exaggerated praises would cheer her up. After listening to my sincere comments about her, I honestly thought that she would let those unpleasant opinions adout her go, but it turned out she was more deeply hurt than I thought and she began doubting herself. That was why she always asked me those questions.People who is sensitive in nature can be easily affected by others’ opinions. They attach great importance on how people will look at them, which is really tiring as it seems that they will think a lot and trap themselves into an adverse situation of self-doubt. Their glass-like heart is fragile, so you need to give them positive response to help build up their confidence.
There is no such thing as being perfect at all levels, everyone has his or her own shortages. The least thing we should do is to magnify our shortages and take them to heart. Facing our weakness head on is the right thing to do and we should not let the weakness get the better of us.There was a saying on Weibo that I liked a lot----you should embrace who you are and tell yourself that god creates the only you, the unique being, which can never be copied.
Never holding a lower opinion about yourself. If you lose confidence in yourself, chances are that you will always live under shadow. Plesae straighten up your body and try to make yourself look confident on apperance. When you bravely confront yourself , you will fiind that you are not inferior to others at all.
There must be a period of time in your life when you have second thought about yourself and get lost in others’ opinions., but you should accept it as life is complicated and dificult all along. If you feel you are undervalued, you should tell yourself that you are excellent and believe that gold will shine instead of moping around. Have more confidence in yourself and what you want will be eventually given by the time. No matter how difficlut, always bear in mind that you are one of a kind and nothing will stop your pursuit if you never underestimate yourself. 
Girs who pay attention to their looks does not necessarily mean that they fail to resisit the perpetuation of the femal image as a handsome trophy of which any rich man would be proud of. Some gril dress up in order to make themselves look more decent and professional. Appearance shall not be over emphasized but paying no attention at all is not feasible. People are visual animals and they tend to judge others first by their looks, especially in some important and formal occasions. So in my opinion, girls indeed shall not centre their life around the pursuit of appearance, they should enrich themselves at all levels so that they will not seem shallow. Howerver, appropriate investment in your looks does add some extra points in your confidence build-up.
When a girl wants you to confirm that her looks are up to scratch, she can be viewed as vain or, alternatively, as someone lacking in self-confidence. In Chinese society, a woman's looks are over-emphasised to the detriment of other qualities. You can see that in our `Forum too: so many silly pictorial threads dedicated to "beautiful" girls of one kind or another, sometimes teachers, sometimes police women, or even just undergraduates. On one hand, this is sexist. On the other hand, women fail to resist the perpetuation of the female image as a handsome trophy of which any rich man would be proud.
Thanks for your comment. Building up a haeathy self-confidence is very important. Maybe my friend does care about her appearance so much so that she kind of loses herself. I know she is sensitive,so sometimes encouragement is necessary. Besides, You are right about developing and maxmizing your shining points instead of focusing on our imperfect parts. We really need to enrich ourselves psychologically.
Well chosen words on a topic that regards us all. Building up a healthy self confidence in young people should be every parent's concern and taken seriously by all teachers and schools. How should they go about this?
The key, I believe, is to give young pupils a sense of their many different options in developing themselves. Young children need to learn that no two people are perfectly alike. This is called "individualism". This has nothing to do with self-centredness. In school, we learn to conform to a rigid set of standards and to study a set number o subjects; we should try to excel in all those but we realise quickly that we cannot be the best I every one. That is where our extracurricular skills and interests come into play. We should have interests that fetch no prize no grade and no praise. These interests should simply gratify ourselves. We can be chess players collectors of spiders I knew a Chinese middle-school boy who had a large collection of spiders and an expert's knowledge on them!) or we can give ourselves the pleasure of swimming as a regular exercise.
That said, I find it pathetic when girls only wonder whether they are "beautiful" or not so beautiful. Clearly, they were not given the best kind of psychological counselling by their own parents and teachers.
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