Last night, my husband’s uncle and his new girlfriend drove to our house in Langzhong City. They set out from Shaanxi province, where the uncle has been working for years as a building contractor and made quite a lot of money.
My husband’s uncle got divorced about 15 years ago, his wife dumped him, leaving him and their little child behind. Years later, through a match-maker, he met his present wife, who had already been a single mother at that time. They’ve lived together until now, although they haven’t so far intended to get a legal marriage license. They don’t have their common child because they don’t think it’s necessary since they both have children from their ex-marriages.
Unfortunately, not long after they lived together, our uncle’s new “wife” was diagnosed with a few healthy problems, such as high blood pressure and diabetes, and her life has since then been sustained by medicine. In recent years, her physical conditions seem to have worsened so much so that she has to move with the help of a walking stick, it has brought much inconvenience to herself and also to her family.
After she found her husband has betrayed her, she was very anxious and anguished. She tries to ask her own relatives, including her own blood sisters and daughter, for help, trying to stop his affairs. However, all her efforts have been in vain. Why? Because all these years, our uncle has been quite good to her, her daughter and her sisters as well, and has lavished much money on them. He has never been stingy with her huge yearly medical expenditure and always does whatever she asks, yes, whatever, yet excluding his affairs with his new girlfriend. Most of her relatives just keep silent about this matter, only one of her sisters tells her to feel content with her lot and turn a blind eye to it as long as he still covers all her medical and daily costs. However, it seems that she doesn’t feel content and is still struggling, but alone.
Uncle’s new girlfriend, aged 34, 15 years younger than him, works in a drugstore in Shaanxi. She is still married and lives with her 9-year-old son and mother-in-law, her husband is said to be making money all year round somewhere in a neighboring province and doesn’t show much concern about her. She is short and thin and not quite good-looking, yet not quite bad from my first impression.
Quite a few people they know are questioning the seriousness of his girlfriend upon their affairs. Many believe she just wants his money. As to me, I think nothing is impossible. Then, my dear readers, how do you think? Do you think this kind of betrayal is acceptable? And do you think the two lovers can finally get somewhere? Please feel free to drop a comment.
I don't think it is acceptable, if he marries someone, he should be loyal to them. Either that or simply, don't get married. Especially considering his wife's health, doe she have no heart?
Thanks for you kind care.Many think her worries are more material than emotional. She always thinks more of herself, her own daughter and relatives than our uncle and his relatives. Maybe you're right, if she continues to make a scene, she may end up losing everything. It's better for her to turn a blind eye to it.
So her worries are more social/material than emotional? She is being taken care of now, and most likely will continue being taken care of. However, if she keeps making her husband's life miserable, she's likely to lose him all together: her worst fears come true. That's called a self-fulfilling prophecy. I wish you and all parties concerned the best.
Please keep us posted.
Thanks for your unique idea, and it does make sense. But his "wife" thinks otherwise, she has been hysterically angry and anxious about his affairs, she is afraid to lose the only one that she can rely on in her later life.
Why is this a betrayal? Did he make a promise to only have her as the woman in his life, in sickness and in health, till death do them part? It seems he is still taking good care of her and it seems they are still functioning together. As long as whatever he and the girlfriend have doesn't impact the devotion and care he obviously has for his wife, I don't see this as a problem that the whole family has to weigh in on.
'Marry in haste, repent at leisure'
the speed at which people get married in China is remarkable, without finding if they are compatible first.
Just because people think a couple will make a good match does not it true.
A good husband will support his wife through all the trials that life throws at them as a couple. A good wife will try to compromise for the sake of the family, and vice versa.
It sounds like the uncle was just looking for a way out of the relationship because he was not committed to it.
Thanks for your rational and benefical comment here. I totally agree with you. Yes, in a relationship there is no clear-cut right or wrong. If anything goes wrong, both parties are liable.
In a relationship there is no clear-cut right or wrong. It depends who you talk to. The word like betrayal is simply a misnomer. The marriage tends to make people myopic about the needs of each other and both parties take things for granted. In my view, if anything goes wrong, both parties are liable. How many married couples out-there can tell your spouse your "dirty" fantasies to your other half ? Not many ! Truth hurts, even though many people demand that. "You can't handle the truth" --jack Nicholas in "a few good men"
Thanks for sharing your brother's story here. In this case, it's better to let your brother's third wife go so that he may have a quiet and happy later life.
Comment