Sharing Spaces--China Vs. America
2014-09-09
This weekend I stayed with a friend living in Portland. He's got a standard-size studio--bedroom, kitchen, small bathroom--that's quite a bit more expensive than the place I'm staying in Beijing. That's not to toot my own horn, but when he complained about the price, I suggested his boyfriend moving in. Linus, my friend, has been dating the same guy for the past two years. They live on opposite sides of the city and usually only see each other on the weekends. To me, they could cut costs by planning meals and sharing bills. They could also see more of each other. Win Win WinBut Linus felt very differently. He thinks they'd drive each other crazy in the limited amount of space because they have different sleep cycles and habits. I understand the dilemma, but when money is tight, you have to try and economize. And if you've been with the same guy for as long as they've been together, I don't know what else they could be waiting for...
I re-watched that movie Happy Together by Wong Kar Wai about a Hong Kong gay couple that moved to Argentina. They lived in this claustrophobically small apartment and put each other through Hell. You can really feel how that space becomes a pressure cooker as their relationship goes to new extremes of physical and mental abuse. Some spaces just through size alone can elicit strong emotional responses.
Has China changed my perception of space and relationships? Or is Linus in denial about something? I sensed Linus had some fear about changing their current living situation. Everyone has a path to follow, so I understand that two years might not be enough to finally accept someone as a life partner. Marriage might not be a thing that they discuss or even want for the future. And a studio really might not be enough room for two people to share. I'm caught on my own fluctuating perceptions. Five years ago I would have agreed with Linus. Today I'm not sure what to think. Perhaps I'm just getting older and feel lonely.
I don't get your title. You didn't mention anything about China and America.
They are just not ready to share their life together. The space issue is just an excuse.
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