Time flies. It seems that I just enter my college yesterday. But sooner or later, I have to leave it. How can I express this feeling?

Actually, a little complicated. Happy, because I don't have to participate in the boring lessons any more.Sad, because I have to separate with my dear classmates, which, I've been toghter with for nearly 4 years. Afraid, because people will not treat us as our teachers and friends did. We all know, in this society, money and the so called"relationship" is everything. Me, not rich and no "relationship", deserve to be ordinary.

Now, most of my classmates have a job. But at the same time, most of them want to quit it and want to be a student one more time. The reason is that they realize life is not easy and work is tough. I've been told thousand times that people are very realistic and snobbish in this society. I do understand. So I quit my job two months ago and chose to stay at school for my rest college life. I really treasure it. And, I feel easy with my current condition---Sometimes go to the library, then sometimes do exercise or walk around at night, listening to the young people or the elderly’s conversation.etc.

More importantly, these days I realize I missed a lot of funny things this 4 years. I love sports, but rarely do exercise. I love language and promise to learn another one(Japanese or Spanish), but I didn’t. It seems that everything I wish I woud do, turns out to be ridiculous.

My mum once said I just bumble through life. To some extent, she’s right 'Cause I do not have a job now. But, I don’t think I am excellent enough to enter my ideal company, so far.

More and more closer to June 21st ----my graduation ceremony. That day, I must leave my shool. Even though I don't want to, I know I have to face reality. This monent, I just feel lost like most of my classmates, what can I do? What I really want to do? I need to find out the answer as soon as possible.

^-^GAS UP!