The space of 1397609108 - Chinadaily Forum

2015-12-05

Once I thought fall in love with a boy for me is a long thing for me, but now I am bothered by the strange feeling that I haven't tell it's just friend-like or boy friend-like one. It's like a haunting ghost in mind and never go away. He is one of my high school classmates. When I was in high school, I never talk too much, not even talk to any boys. I was too shy to speak with a boy, therefore, at that time, study is everything I know there. Because it's the first time I left home for school, I always being homesick while I seldom call my parents because every time I heard their voice I want to cry and I don't want them to know I was weak to stand the hard life. I was always in a blue mood. Since then, I know what unhappiness and loneliness is. So I always hope there is someone appear in my life and ease my pain. But it is always a dream that never come true. Thus you can feel how jealous I am when I saw intimate couples together in our class. And time goes by, I have just go through my high school life with study stuffs and without boyfriend not even too much friends. After I graduate from college, I collect the pictures of my former classmates, I have know the boy again. He is so emotional, and always writes some bad mood of himself and something sounds philosophical. I have read all of them and want to know what happened to him these years. Gradually I found that he is a really good guy who i s a subtle and refined sensibility and very suitable to be the good friend. So I talked with him. Every time I chat with him on line I feel so happy and never want to stop it . I find I really like him, like his personality. I feel he is boy of many good virtue. Although, we two always quarreled before the class was beginning at high school. And we don't even communicate with each other and know about each other. Through many times chatting on line, I find myself always want to chat with him and think about him, every time he write something about himself I want to read it and even if I know he don't write it for me, I always want to read it and imagine that he is missing me and want to learn about me like I want to do the same for him. Unfortunately, everything is just like a bubble which is easily broken, because he never know the feeling I hold about him. I just pretend not to be so exciting to talk with him and not like and care so much about him. Because I am not sure he have the same feeling to me like I do to him. Sometimes I was tortured by myself. Why can't I be rational enough, and just leave it? Why always let him appear in my mind and let me worried about it and don't want to do anything meaningful? If I was a vampire , that would be great. Because I can lock my emotion and do things without bothering by the unimportant and annoying mind. 搜索复制

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I HAVE CHANGED !

2015-11-21

After many experiences of separation of good friends and someone who are very important to me, I have deeply found that time is so precious for us. It gives us not very long time to stay with the persons appearing in our lives, and we don' t even know when will they leave us or disappear . Therefore, cherishing became the most priority in our lives. I always believe that people will never escape the situation--separation. Cherishing the days with the ones who stay with us , trying to do something different in daily life , taking care of them as much as possible , telling them how you feel when they be with you are the things I now do to one of my best friend who is now together with me. Because, i want to be her good memory in life when we are apart one day. And I don't want to regret leave her nothing more impressive in my life. Time never stop, but i want my strong emotion to my friends are the same. However, it will never do. Thus, I just leave this job to the brain that can hold a good memory as wine keep the good taste of its own.[imgid=0]搜索复制

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Is there a person whom we can talk everything with exist in our life ?

2015-11-11

Is there a person whom we can talk everything with exist in our life? Maybe the answer is no although I hope he is there just not appear. 搜索复制Every time I talk with people, I find myself was so depressed. Because I always prevent myself saying things I truly want to say. Even they are the closest persons in my life, such as parents, siblings, friends and so on. No matter whom we talk with, there are always something subtle in our heart to stop us to lose control of the words coming out from our mouth. The feeling likes that there is another person shout aloud in your mind do not speak this out, because they don't understand it , they don't like it or it will make them angry, unhappy ......Just imagine that if we can speak all we want to say to someone. What will happen? Ur, maybe that person will never be anyone else, BUT YOU ！！！

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Some doubts in my mind about belief.

2015-11-09

I have some friends who are believe in God. They always want me to believe in god, too. Although I hold that Bible is a good book to read , but I don't think I could have the same belief like them. Despite I always believe the important role that God play in their everyday life, the time I think alone I cannot feel it as strong as them be. Every time they invite me to get together with their friends, I was so worried without any reason. Though I want to learn Bible with them, and I don't know why. Sometimes, there is a thought in my mind, but I am afraid to tell my friend which they may believe that I offend their belief. But it is the real thought lingering in my brain that there maybe something powerful in the air that can control this world and we don't know about it , however I cannot persuade myself in believing that the force coming from God. What do you think ? 搜索复制

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