the first blog, no idea about the blog rules. just some feelings about "now", to burn time or to express those piled up emtions.i am gonna start with the event that one guy was hit by a machine , and now in hospital,it's kind of an emergency. this guy is family related, but not by blood. usually he makes a mess at home, not helpful on family stuff. i am sort of judgemental here, but it's true, i have no feelings for this person not so much involved in my daily life, but when events happened, it is related, cause i have to share the bill. i know it's awful to think him as a burdon at this moment when he in hospital, but really if he was a little bit nice to other people in the family, i'd think very different. i am shitty, i admit that i don't wanna responsible for such an adult who makes messes in my life. but legally i have to. my life already sucks, he did nothing good to us, how i have to be nice to this guy.even worse, pretend to be not care about his past. like many people, i have a life full of details , and i always convince myself, that's life supposed to be. going through troubles , always part of real life, sometimes,you just can't aviod but to face it head-on. being in a family, there always things and facts that you have no choice but to accept. being an adult always means responsible without certain reasons.i know those rules deeply, but just sometimes i wish i could escape, i could ignore those tough life and never get involved in anybody' s emergency. so my whole life till now,i try to be independent and not to be the pain in the ass of others. No matter what happens tomorrow, we should live and face everything coming. down the road,we'd become stronger, that's adult's life supposed to be. i am so tired of people telling me "be strong".