Author: xiaocao青

How should I deal with it?   [Copy link] 中文

Rank: 3Rank: 3

Post time 2014-4-24 11:03:09 |Display all floors
Amazing how the foreigners replying here are so quick to recommend divorce and getting rid of him. Divorce being so awfully commonplace in the west that it diminishes the value of love and family.

Divorce is not a simple option. Yes you may be rid of him, but finding someone else - that is nowhere near as easy as it is in the west. Especially if older. Those that aren't married - tend to have a good reason for not being so, and there are not all that many divorcees to choose from either.

Saddens me how quickly people 'quit' relationships.

Yes pretty much all Chinese men will cheat at some point - usually mid to late thirties sometimes earlier in married young. I know many married women who know their husbands have cheated or are cheating, but they have gotten over it.

Confrontational accusations are bound to put him against the wall and threaten divorce. But the female mind has a terrible time of letting go of things, and will start imagining all sorts of terrible possible scenarios until they have enough answers that make sense and sound plausible. My only advice would be to avoid the direct confrontation and try to gather whatever small pieces of truth you can along the way.
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Rank: 8Rank: 8

Post time 2014-4-24 11:09:18 |Display all floors
Zoggles Post time: 2014-4-24 11:03
Amazing how the foreigners replying here are so quick to recommend divorce and getting rid of him. D ...

So Chinese women should accept the fact that Chinese men are dogs and live with it?

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Rank: 2

Post time 2014-4-24 11:31:20 |Display all floors
Personally,once your husband has the first  mistress,he will have another one.why not just leave him or think about yourself instead of thinking him and his mistress,improve yourself ,and being confident.

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Post time 2014-4-24 11:41:56 |Display all floors
grb Post time: 2014-4-24 11:09
So Chinese women should accept the fact that Chinese men are dogs and live with it?

No, I guess you're right they should all immediately get divorced and either go back to living with their parents, or marry a different cheating husband that someone else divorced.
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Rank: 8Rank: 8

Post time 2014-4-24 11:44:10 |Display all floors
Zoggles Post time: 2014-4-24 11:41
No, I guess you're right they should all immediately get divorced and either go back to living wit ...

I didn't say that either.  Maybe the men should become civilized.

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Rank: 3Rank: 3

Post time 2014-4-24 11:52:03 |Display all floors
grb Post time: 2014-4-24 11:44
I didn't say that either.  Maybe the men should become civilized.

And so quick to blame the men and assume it's completely their fault and that they are "Dogs" ?

I would also put a fair percentage of the blame on the younger females too.. who tend to be much more eager to find and solicit an older man. Most younger females I know all say that males in their own age group are all too irresponsible and immature and are very keen to find someone 10-15 years older.

Even looking online on Chinese dating sites you can see a huge number of younger females looking for older men.

Sure, some men deliberately go looking a 小三, some are simply opportunists, and some make genuine mistakes after drinking one or two too many...
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Rank: 8Rank: 8

Post time 2014-4-24 13:00:49 |Display all floors
Zoggles Post time: 2014-4-24 11:03
Amazing how the foreigners replying here are so quick to recommend divorce and getting rid of him. D ...

So you think it's best for her to kowtow to what her husband does and live a miserable life? Whereas I think it would best to split from the bastard and get on with a happy meaningful life.

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