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We work at the same company, but different offices. Her in China, me in the USA. She is a manager and I'm a technical reviewer. I reviewed a job for one of her staff, and found some problems. I sent it back. He tried to deceive me into accepting it anyway, but I noticed that too and told him now, I have to look even closer. He should just do the test properly instead of wasting time being dishonest. At that point, he involved his manager, that was her.|
We have avatar photos on our email. I complimented her on her smile. She ignored it. We worked out the work issue, came to a good compromise, and finished that issue. Then, I asked her some personal questions, about her husband (she had to tell me she didn't have one) her children, her life. Same for me. We found ourselves wanting to chat with each other. Made excuses to do so. We "had to follow up" on the status of that one project. Finally, that one project was completely done, and we had to admit there was some chemistry between us. (how did we know, only through chat!?)
We had our first phone call, then video chats. I scheduled a trip to China to meet her, and confirm our feelings. I spent a week there I will never forget: saw Guangzhou, learned about the Chinese lifestyle. Saw some things that are better in China (efficiency of public transit, fresher food, fitness and excercise, more considerate drivers) and some things that were worse. (air and water pollution, lack of personal freedom, lack of variety in food and daily routines)
When it was time for me to go, we both shed a tear in the airport, and I returned to Chicago with a heavy heart. How could we be apart again, after having spent that great time together?
Later, I scheduled another trip there, this time for two weeks. We didn't do any sightseeing, just enjoyed not working, enjoyed each others' company, went on a couple hikes in the nearby mountains. Again, I went home with a heavy heart.
Later, (this summer) she and her son came to visit me here. We had another great two weeks. She and her son saw our lifestyle here. They missed the Chinese food, but liked having a man in the family. He had never had a father figure, and she never had such a warm man. We started the immigration project, petitioned for a fiancee visa. She's back in China and we will wait for this at least 8 months. Although the application costs $350, the government cannot be bothered to move things along quickly.
I will go to visit her again over Chinese New Year.
Until then, we have to try not to fight too much about stupid things by chat. It is harder than it sounds, for two people with dominant personalities! We rarely fight about anything in person. I think we fight by text chat because are both frustrated; read too much into the words of the other. Very frustrating. Can we make it until May, when her visa will come through? Then, we will apply for her son, and they will move in. After which, we have to marry within 90 days, or she has to go home and that's the end of it. After that, we have to stay married for several years, and she cannot make her residency status permanent unless we prove to the government that we have a bonafide relationship.
Will we have a successful courtship and marriage? Or will we crumble under the pressure of being apart? Wish us luck.
Robert, Seneca, Messi: How about just sharing your love stories openly, and promise not to criticize each other on it? The bickering seems to create an environment in which others don't want to share personal things, for fear of ridicule. I find it kind of sad.