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This post was edited by messi30 at 2012-3-28 20:28|
Everyone has their own perception about what marriage is.
Honestly I think the marriage is the most wonderful thing a person could reach, sure, I am talking about those marriages that were built it and developed it with love, support and respect.
Your idea of a marriage is understandable, I guess you were witness of many situations where you found these sacred relationships failed in a horror situation.
The horror in a marriage is when:
- The person married because parent’s pressure.
- The person got married because felt old or lonely
- The person got married for special and materialistic interests.
- The person got married for pleasing the relatives.
- The person got married for unwanted pregnancy
The horror list of reasons could be long; I just note what it comes to my mind now.
Where I live is a private condominium with parks, water fountains and assorted amenities, most Chinese people who lives there are wealthy, sometimes if the time allows me I take a walk around with my wife, we sit in the bench and I found wives, grandmothers in small groups talking, chatting similar topics as you described above. Some conversations that became in gossips and for sure it’s about the person who is not present at that moment. After I made comments to my wife about what we watched and listened, she told me “same topics happens everywhere, also in small towns or villages”.
Maybe I am going a bit off topic in this point but the preparation and the development of a person counts a lot in all fields. If we as parents teach our children to be more informed, to read more books, to interact with more people and to support them to build their own ideas, for sure we will create children with confidence, with a good self esteem, with strong attitude, under these parameters the youths will be prepared to face their future in better perspective and with a solid family background to success in work, marriage and life, in other words, a person well prepared.
It’s about culture, definitely. It will depend how the person were raised, in what society the person developed. For example in Latin America most people are informed and willing to participate in discussions or debates, since I was a child coming back home from school I remember we used to read the hanging newspapers in the corner news stand, most people buys a newspaper and we discuss the daily news about everything. We got knowledge too, we feed our brains with news and we formed our own ideas and later we discuss about it with parents, relatives, friends, etc. It’s a way to avoid falling in gossips and nonsense conversations.
Back to the topic I don’t find any mystery in a marriage, I found misery in those people who get married being immature. Parents should give same and strong support to their children, male or female as equals. The future of the children start from what they got from their home. Simple.
All people will find problems in a marriage. An immature marriage won’t surpass easily their problems, things that differ from the ones who got married with true love and will be able to manage the problems in a better way.
There are many ways to solve the problems in a marriage, one of them are the Couples Therapy, services provided by government agencies or private institutions. The services are directed to both, boyfriends, girlfriends, partners, husbands, wives, separated and/or divorced by a psychotherapist who are trained and authorized by local authorities. If the couple at least are willing to admit that they have a problem, this is the best option to safe the marriage.
The marriage is like a house, if the foundation is strong there won’t be a lightning, hurricane or earthquake that bring it down
... a TRUE LOVE never expires.