Views: 4982|Replies: 3

韩刚老师为凤凰卫视翻译凤凰如水 [Copy link] 中文

Rank: 1

Post time 2011-10-19 15:03:43 |Display all floors
背景提示:2011年3月31日,华语媒体传奇品牌——凤凰卫视迎来成立十五周年纪念日。31日晚间,“涅槃——凤凰卫视十五周年庆典晚会”在人民大会堂大礼堂灿烂登场。凤凰资讯台副台长兼新闻主播吴小莉描述称凤凰拥有慈悲济世的胸怀,它对慈善事业不遗余力的支持,体现了凤凰的善良本性。

原文:
凤凰如水,如水的谦和,有着包容一切利物不争的性格。如水的果敢,有着劈山开石水到成渠的力量。如水的信念,有着不畏险阻奔涌向前的执着。如水般深邃,有着汇聚溪流终成海洋的深广辽阔。
凭借媒体网络化与点位的优势,我们为客户开发出多种媒体运用方式,通过与节日活动联动、同步新闻发布、场内活动场外直播、区域活动全城转播等创新的媒体运用方式,拓展影响空间和宣传效果,帮助客户实现广告效益的最大化。
评析:
文虽不多,但要想译好绝非易事。尤其第一段,文采斐然,如何将汉语的修辞和排比结构译出是译者首先要考虑的问题,而且在翻译中还不能见词译词、值句出句,一定要读透了,然后再用地道的英语改写出来方能成事,非一般字当句对或对照式翻译所能济事。傅雷曾说过“译事虽近舌人,要以艺术修养为根本;无敏感之心灵,无热烈之同情,无适当之鉴赏能力,无相当之社会经验,无充分之常识(即所谓杂学),势难彻底理解原作,即或理解,亦未必能深切领悟”,只有具备这样的条件——敏感之心灵、热烈之同情、适当之鉴赏力、相当之社会经验、充分之常识(杂学),译者才能理解、体会、感受、领悟、抓住原文的意义、神韵,并连同思想感情、气氛、情调等都“化为我有”,译者与作者才会心意相通,契合无间,情节人物历历如在目前,译时才能高屋建瓴,下笔有神,才能把自己理解领悟了的用相应的文笔、风格传达出来。但“译本与原作,文字既不侔,规则又大异……像英法,英德那样接近的语言,尚且有许多难以互译的地方,中西文字的扦格远过于此,要求传神达意,铢两悉称,自非死抓字典,按照原文句法拼凑堆砌所能济事”,况且东西方之思想方式又大不一样,而反映民族思想方式的语言又迥异非常,因此“以甲国文字传达乙国文字所包含的那些特点,必须像伯乐相马,要‘得其精而忘其粗,在其内而忘其外’”,只有这样,翻译才能如行云流水,译文才如“天工”之作般自然完美,文脉贯通(而不是“句句断,节节断”),才能达到翻译之“神似化境”。
第二段看似比第一段简单,但要真正译好,没有一定英语功底也难译好。因为英语重开门见山,而汉语重在压轴,因此在选词和句子结构方面应好好安排才能译得地道。
另:句首“凤凰”一词,大部分译者都按字翻译,孰不知,此“凤凰”非彼“凤凰”,而是指“凤凰都市传媒”,由此可见,我们大部分译者在翻译前功夫做得还是不到家,没有认真去了解背景就下手翻译,此翻译之大忌。马建忠在《拟设翻译书院议》中曾说:“夫译之为事难矣,译之将奈何?其平日冥心钩考,必先将所译者与所以译者两国之文字深嗜笃好,字栉句比,以考彼此文字孳生之源,同异之故。所有相当之实义,委曲推究,务审其音声之高下,析其字句之繁简,尽其文体之变态,及其义理精深奥折之所由然。夫如是,则一书到手,经营反复,确知其意旨之所在,而又摹写其神情,仿佛其语气,然后心悟神解,振笔而书,译成之文适如其所译而止,而曾无毫发出入于其间,夫而后能使阅者所得之益与观原文无异,是则为善译也已”。“善译”者,理想之翻译,理想之译者,理想之境界。
韩刚老师译文已被凤凰卫视选中)


At Metropolis Media, we identify ourselves with water, as we embrace all and never take credit for helping others grow and thrive. Like water, we are defined by overwhelming valor to blaze new trails, by unbending resolve to surge ahead and by open-minded inclusivity to harness synergy.
We set ourselves apart from our industry peers by diversifying the way media is employed and embraced. As one of the cutting-edge media operators, we are well-positioned to expand and extend an outreach drive in a way that secures the best possible results for our clienteles. Of what contributes to where we are today, the empowering multi-dimensional media network we have to offer means that our business partners can build up public recognition amid festive observances, we can make real-time press release possible as events unfold, live broadcasts can be made available to off-site audience and district-based events can be rebroadcast citywide.
第一段译文并未按原文那样句句、字字对译(尤其是第一句的处理,用了identify 一词),而融到两句话中,将后几个比喻排比句用by结构表示出来,句子显得非常紧凑,但读来还是有些缺少原文的那种灵动、飘逸。
第二段译文读着非常地道,非常符合英文说法——开门见山、先总后分、先重后轻,而不是依照汉语的结构依次把缆放船,读着感觉较好。但有译友却认为,第二段译文英语比较发散,达不到原文想要发挥的功能,这可能是见仁见智的问题了。
在风格上,译文用词较大,倒也符合原文的语体风格。(网友点评)

韩刚老师翻译欣赏!

Use magic tools Report

Rank: 4

Post time 2011-11-2 08:46:44 |Display all floors
凤凰如水,如水的谦和,有着包容一切利物不争的性格。如水的果敢,有着劈山开石水到成渠的力量。如水的信念,有着不畏险阻奔涌向前的执着。如水般深邃,有着汇聚溪流终成海洋的深广辽阔。

Water is humble but includes all and does not contend; water is brave with power to overcome difficulties; water is consistent in reaching its destination; water is deep to make itself an ocean in the end; we Phoenix TV are every bit like the water.


我认为我的译文比韩刚老师的浅显,希望凤凰卫视改用我的版本,我只收半价。


[ Last edited by kevinruud at 2011-11-2 08:48 AM ]

Use magic tools Report

Rank: 4

Post time 2011-11-7 17:12:44 |Display all floors
I donot know what you mean by "Water is humble but includes all and does not contend". In my view, Kevinruud's lacks power within words.

Use magic tools Report

Rank: 4

Post time 2011-11-10 18:23:14 |Display all floors
Originally posted by godsunyu at 2011-11-7 17:12
I donot know what you mean by "Water is humble but includes all and does not contend". In my view, Kevinruud's lacks power within words.

I agree to some extent.

Readers may have relied on the original to figure out the meaning of the  translated work, that is the case with Han Laoshi's.

Use magic tools Report

You can't reply post until you log in Log in | register

BACK TO THE TOP
Contact us:Tel: (86)010-84883548, Email: blog@chinadaily.com.cn
Blog announcement:| We reserve the right, and you authorize us, to use content, including words, photos and videos, which you provide to our blog
platform, for non-profit purposes on China Daily media, comprising newspaper, website, iPad and other social media accounts.