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Older men and younger women - what is your opinion? [Copy link] 中文

Rank: 4

Post time 2004-3-26 10:34:32 |Display all floors
Last year I saw on some internet dating or marriage service websites that Chinese women often say that they are interested in foreign men who are anywhere from ten to twenty-five years older than they are. There are literally hundreds, if not thousands, of them on the three or four sites I saw.

In America, although such relationships sometimes happen, most notably with older Hollywood male stars, they are the exception. Most American women would not put that kind of age difference on such a website.

What is your opinion about that? Is age truly not important to many Chinese women and, if it is not, is that true only when they are seeking foreign men - do they often have relationships with or marry Chinese men that much older than they are? Many of the women who gave those age ranges were divorced and had a child - does that tend to limit them in relationships with Chinese men close to their age? In America, the statistics show that people are entering into marriage for the first time at much later ages than they did in previous generations - like in their late 20's to early 30's now. Do single women in their late 20' and 30's in China feel their prospects for marriage are growing small? I suppose some of the women on those sites are willing to marry about anyone to get to a foreign country, for whatever reason, but I wouldn't  think that would be true of all of them.

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Rank: 4

Post time 2004-3-26 11:24:56 |Display all floors

my opinion


Young women who divorced or lost love, they have felt so much torture and they're expecting a mature man who can rely on and protect her. young men, i don't say all of them. it's probably still so young and still be a baby need to be protected and not so stable for what the women want.

When a man get older, he may be much sincere and need a stable life with only one woman and at that time he also have a stable finance base to take care of a family.

it will be wonderful if similar age people falling into love. but it's a pity that young man don't want to commit much for the same age woman. An older man can give what the woman want- mature personality, care , love and sincererity and stable finance.

I'm also asking myself if i meet a man older than me, maybe 20 years. and in otherside, he is perfect. what i will do? I really don't know. it need sometime to know each other and let's see.

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Rank: 1

Post time 2004-3-26 11:57:00 |Display all floors

my opinion

I think  older men know how to take care of youger women. They are more condiderate than young men.
Different women marry foreigners for different purposes. So We can't make our comments in general.

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Rank: 4

Post time 2004-3-26 21:51:07 |Display all floors

maybe tradeoff!

   When men and women possess a paticular asset, such as high intelligence, unusual beauty, a personality that makes others swoon,  or a hefty bankroll that has the same effect, some decide to trade their assets for someone else's strong points, in this situation,  so far as he possess the strong points that very attract her!no matter how older he is, she will marry  him!

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Rank: 1

Post time 2004-3-26 22:11:03 |Display all floors

my opinion

as far as i am concerned, i would like to have a man three to five years older than me.physically speaking,women are aging more quickly than men.if the couple is of the same age,by the time both of them are in their thirties,the female is obviously older than the male.psychologically speaking, if the man is older than the woman,he would be more considerate , more mature,more responsible.

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Rank: 4

Post time 2004-3-26 22:24:37 |Display all floors

my opinion

It sometimes has a love affair in the back. But I think perhaps most women do so for another reason. They blindly believe that all the foreigners are richer even than the capable native men. It's a pity. Yes, we should admit that China was not developted, and in a sense she's still undevelopted now.  But we must love her. I consider the phenomenon you mentioned as a sequence of the past, people had much less confidence to our motherland. But now she is much stronger.
And I think this phenomenon will disappear as people have much correct attitude to marrige and to their lives.

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Rank: 4

Post time 2004-3-27 10:34:30 |Display all floors

Thanks for your thoughts - more questions.

I see that the factors include that older men may be more considerate and sincere and that older men may offer more stability, both emotionally and financially. If the consideration is financial stability, is the attraction that it means a better life style, or do you think it is attractive because it may offer a woman more of an opportunity, maybe more freedom, to pursue her own goals in a career, education, interests in art, travel – to develop, grow and experience more herself?

What about these questions from my initial post:

Is age not important only when they are seeking foreign men - do they often have relationships with or marry Chinese men that much older than they are?

Does divorce and having a child tend to limit them in relationships with Chinese men close to their age?

Do Chinese women in their late 20' and early 30's in China feel their prospects for marriage are growing small?

I agree with you, Summerwine, that one who believes life in a foreign country will necessarily be better than life in China may be disappointed. I am not certain that the quality of the things that matter most in life is significantly less in China than in more developed countries. The life of most Americans or Europeans is, I think, rather ordinary, which is probably something people who know those places mostly through the media do not realize. I think this would be a very exciting time to be a native Chinese living there.  

I read one person who opined that Chinese woman are more prone to believe that one has luck in finding someone to be her husband and that the relationship remains to be made after marriage. Essentially, I guess, that you find someone who is at least not too unattractive to you, marry and then work at love and relationship. In truth, that is probably how it works anyway, but Americans put a great premium on “marrying for love”.  Was that person’s observation about Chinese women accurate?

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