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10 Life Lessons You Should Unlearn [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2010-4-30 16:11:59 |Display all floors
10 Life Lessons You Should Unlearn
10个你要“学掉”的生活经验
Oprah.com


In the past 10 years, I've realized that our culture is rife with ideas that

actually inhibit joy. Here are some of the things I'm most grateful to have

unlearned:

  在过去的10年,我发现我们的文化充斥着实际上抑制了快乐的想法。下边是我最感激能

“学掉”的。
Happy 牛 Year~!

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1. Problems are bad. You spent your school years solving arbitrary problems

imposed by boring authority figures. You learned that problems—comment se dit?

—suck. But people without real problems go mad and invent things like base

jumping and wedding planning. Real problems are wonderful, each carrying the

seeds of its own solution. Job burnout? It's steering you toward your perfect

career. An awful relationship? It's teaching you what love means. Confusing tax

forms? They're suggesting you hire an accountant, so you can focus on more

interesting tasks, such as flossing. Finding the solution to each problem is

what gives life its gusto.

1. 问题是糟糕的。人们在上学的时候解决那些由令人乏味的权威人事给予的任意问题,人

们学会了--怎么说呢---问题是糟糕的。但是没有真正问题的人们疯狂,去发明那些像。高。

。跳和婚礼策划。真正的问题是精彩的,每个都蕴含了其自己解答的种子。工作劳累?它

正为你朝着完美事业引导。一段糟糕的关系?它正教会你爱的意义。不清楚纳税表格?它

们在暗示你当聘请一位会计,这样你能关注与更为有趣的任务上,例如,用牙线剔牙。找

到每个问题的解答是给与生命生命力的东西。

2. It's important to stay happy. Solving a knotty problem can help us be happy,

but we don't have to be happy to feel good. If that sounds crazy, try this:

Focus on something that makes you miserable. Then think, "I must stay happy!"

Stressful, isn't it? Now say, "It's okay to be as sad as I need to be." This

kind of permission to feel as we feel—not continuous happiness—is the

foundation of well-being.

2. 不停快乐很重要。解决一个困难重重的问题可以帮助我们快乐,但是我们不需要快乐来

感到好。如果听上去疯话,试一试:关注于某件令你难过的事情。然后想着,“我必须快

乐!”感到心情劳累,对吗?现在,说,“可以让自己有多难过就多难过。”这种对随即

感觉自己感受上做出的允许--不是持续的快乐--是幸福的基础。

3. I'm irreparably damaged by my past. Painful events leave scars, true, but it

turns out they're largely erasable. Jill Bolte Taylor, the neuroanatomist who

had a stroke that obliterated her memory, described the event as losing "37

years of emotional baggage." Taylor rebuilt her own brain, minus the drama. Now

it appears we can all effect a similar shift, without having to endure a brain

hemorrhage. The very thing you're doing at this moment—questioning habitual

thoughts—is enough to begin off-loading old patterns. For example, take an

issue that's been worrying you ("I've got to work harder!") and think of three

reasons that belief may be wrong. Your brain will begin to let it go. Taylor

found this thought-loss euphoric. You will, too.

3. 过去给我带来了无法修复的伤害。痛苦的经历留下了伤疤,的确,但是其实它们大部分

而言可以消除。曾经经历了一次中风而抹除了记忆的神经解剖学家 Jill Bolte Taylor将

那次经历描述成失去了“37年的情感包袱“。Taylor重建了自己的大脑,除去了戏剧化。

现在,似乎我们所有人都能产生类似的转变,而不需要忍受一次大脑出血。你在此刻做的

事情--质疑习惯想法--本身就足以开始卸除旧习。例如,举出一个一直令你担忧的事情(

”我一定要更努力!),然后想三个这个想法也许错误的理由。你的大脑将会开始释放这

个想法。Taylor 找到了这种想法失去的快乐。你也会。
Happy 牛 Year~!

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4. Working hard leads to success. Baby mammals, including humans, learn by

playing, which is why "the battle of Waterloo was won on the playing fields of

Eton." Boys who'd spent years strategizing for fun gained instinctive skills to

handle real-world situations. So play as you did in childhood, with all-out

absorption. Watch for ways your childhood playing skills can solve a problem

(see #1). Play, not work, is the key to success. While we're on the subject...

4. 努力工作带来成功。小哺乳动物,包括人类在内,通过玩学习,这就是为什么说“

滑铁卢战役的胜利是在伊顿操场上取得的” 数年为乐趣进行策略化的男孩子们获得了

在应付真实世界情况的本能技能。留意你童年的玩耍技巧能够解决一个问题(参见1)。

是玩而不是工作是成功的关键。说道这...


5. Success is the opposite of failure. Fact: From quitting smoking to skiing,

we succeed to the degree we try, fail, and learn. Studies show that people who

worry about mistakes shut down, but those who are relaxed about doing badly

soon learn to do well. Success is built on failure.

5. 成功是失败的对立。事实:从戒烟到滑雪,我们取得多少成功在于努力、失败和学习了

多少。研究表明那些担心错误的人们会闭关锁国,但是那些对待表现糟糕放松的人很快就

会学会做得好。成功是建立在失败之上。

6. It matters what people think of me. "But if I fail," you may protest,

"people will think badly of me!" This dreaded fate causes despair, suicide,

homicide. I realized this when I read blatant lies about myself on the

Internet. When I bewailed this to a friend, she said, "Wow, you have some

painful fantasies about other people's fantasies about you." Yup, my anguish

came from my hypothesis that other people's hypothetical hypotheses about me

mattered. Ridiculous! Right now, imagine what you'd do if it absolutely didn't

matter what people thought of you. Got it? Good. Never go back.

6. 人们对我的看法重要。“可是如果我失败了”你也许会抗议“人们会瞧不起我!”这个

可怕的命运引起绝望、自杀、谋杀。当我从网上看到关于自己的公然谎言时觉察到了这一

点。当我向一位朋友悲伤叙说,她说:“哇,你有对别人对你的幻想有一些痛苦的幻想”

是啊,我的痛苦来自于对别人对我假设别人的假设下的假设很重要。荒谬。此刻,想象一

下如果别人对你怎么看绝对不重要你会做什么。知道了?好。不要回头。
Happy 牛 Year~!

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Post time 2010-4-30 16:13:51 |Display all floors
7. We should think rationally about our decisions. Your rational capacities are

far newer and more error-prone than your deeper, "animal" brain. Often complex

problems are best solved by thinking like an animal. Consider a choice you have

to make—anything from which movie to see to which house to buy. Instead of

weighing pros and cons intellectually, notice your physical response to each

option. Pay attention to when your body tenses or relaxes. And speaking of

bodies...

7.我们应该对自己的决定做出理智思考。你的理性能力比你更深层、“动物”大脑要后出

现地多、更容易犯错误地多。经常,解决复杂的问题的方法是通过像动物去思考。考虑一

个你要做出的选择--从看哪不电影到买哪幢房子。不要用思考来权衡利弊,注意你的身体

对每个选择的反应。注意什么时候你的身体紧张或放松。再提到了身体...

8. The pretty girls get all the good stuff. Oh, God. So not true. I unlearned

this after years of coaching beautiful clients. Yes, these lovelies get

preferential treatment in most life scenarios, but there's a catch: While

everyone's looking at them, virtually no one sees them. Almost every gorgeous

client had a husband who'd married her breasts and jawline without ever

noticing her soul.


8.漂亮女人得到了一切好东西。哦,老天。太不对了。在常年辅导漂亮的客户后,我“学

掉”了这一点。是的,这些可爱的人们在多数生活中都会受优待,但是有一个玄机:虽然

每个人都去瞧她们,基本没人看到了她们。是几乎每位美丽的顾客都有一位嫁给了她的乳

房和下颚线从来没有注意过她的灵魂的丈夫。


9. If all my wishes came true right now, life would be perfect. Check it out:

People who have what you want are all over rehab clinics, divorce courts, and

jails. That's because good fortune has side effects, just like medications

advertised on TV. Basically, any external thing we depend on to make us feel

good has the power to make us feel bad. Weirdly, when you've stopped depending

on tangible rewards, they often materialize. To attract something you want,

become as joyful as you think that thing would make you. The joy, not the

thing, is the point.


9.如果我的所有愿望此刻都实现,生活就会完美。看一看吧:那些拥有了你想要的东西的

人们在康复诊所、离婚法庭和监狱里到处都有。这是因为财富有副作用,就像电视做广告

的药物一样。基本来说,任何我们依赖来让自己感觉好的外在事物都有让我们感觉糟的力

量。奇怪,当你停止依赖于有形奖励,它们往往会到来。要吸引你想要的某样东西,去变

得你认为那件东西会令你变得的那么高兴。意义是快乐,不是那件东西。


10. Loss is terrible. Ten years ago I still feared loss enough to abandon

myself in order to keep things stable. I'd smile when I was sad, pretend to

like people who appalled me. What I now know is that losses aren't cataclysmic

if they teach the heart and soul their natural cycle of breaking and healing. A

real tragedy? That's the loss of the heart and soul themselves. If you've

abandoned yourself in the effort to keep anyone or anything else, unlearn that

pattern. Live your truth, losses be damned. Just like that, your heart and soul

will return home.

10.失去很可怕。十年前,我对失去的恐惧达到了为了保持事情稳固而抛弃自己的底部。当

我悲伤的时候会笑,会假装喜欢令我震骇的人们。我现在知道的是失去不是天崩地裂,如

果它们教会了心和灵魂它们的破裂和痊愈的自然周期。真正的悲剧?真正的悲剧是失去心

和灵魂本身。如果你为了留住某个人或任何别的东西而抛弃了自己,“学掉”这个习惯。

生活在你的真相中,让失去去见鬼。只要这样,你的心和灵魂将会回家。
Happy 牛 Year~!

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