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Post time 2010-1-7 10:18:39 |Display all floors
How to Cope with Impulsive Aggression
如何应对冲动的侵犯


Aggression can create all kinds of problems in life. Here are some great tips and info on dealing with impulsive aggression.

  侵犯可能在生活中制造出各种个样的问题。下边是一些关于处理冲动侵犯的极好的提示和信息。


Steps
步骤


1. Understand what aggression really is. Aggression is big emotion with destructive behaviors added to it. Those destructive behaviors can be directed toward oneself, other people, or things.

  了解侵犯到底是什么。侵犯是一种具备了破坏行为的强烈情绪。那些破坏性的行为可能朝着自我、别人或物体的方向指引。

2. Learn about the emotions that underlie aggressive behavior. Emotions are a natural and healthy part of life. Even though aggression looks like anger, it's oftentimes a behavior based in fear. When someone is scared, they can quickly move into Fight or Flight mode. People who are prone to aggression are usually showing the Fight aspect of fear. Often, they don't even realize they are scared, because it looks and feels so much like anger. Fear of abandonment or ridicule are common fears in an aggressive person. These fears are so strong that it can feel to the person like they are fighting for their life, even though logically they know they're not.

  了解侵犯行为背后的情绪。情绪是生活中的一个自然和健康的部分。即便侵犯看上去像是愤怒,往往它是一种建立在恐惧上的行为。当人害怕了,他们很快地进入到逃跑或战斗的模式。易于侵犯的人通常是在表现恐惧中的战斗一面。往往,他们甚至没有意识到自己害怕了,因为它看上去和感觉上去太像是愤怒了。害怕被抛弃、或嘲笑是一个侵犯型人的普遍恐惧。这些恐惧十分强烈,以至于对那个人来说感觉就像他们在为自己的生命而战斗,即便从逻辑上说,他们知道他们并没有。

3. Express fear and anger in healthy ways. Emotions are just energy moving through certain parts of the body. (Anger energy is located in the back, moving up the back of the neck, side of head and jaws. Fear is in the belly, and moving upwards) Breathing with the feelings, moving the body in ways that move the energy, and playing with the energy vocally are all ways to successfully move the energy up and out of the body. Even saying "I'm scared" or "I'm angry" can be helpful.

  用健康的方法表达恐惧和愤怒。情绪仅仅是通过身体特定不愤怒的能量。(愤怒的能量位于背部,朝颈背,脑侧和下巴上移动。恐惧位于腹部,朝上移动)让这种能量带上、带出身体的成功方法是。。。。伴随这些感受呼吸,以转移能量的方法运动身体,用口头的方式。。

4. Choose to express the emotion, instead of the destructive behavior. Moving your body to move the emotion out through the body is healthy. Using your body to intimidate, punish, vent, or attack yourself or others is an unhealthy choice, and likely to lead to trouble.

  选择去表达情绪而不是具有破坏性的行为。运动身体来将通过身体转移情绪是健康的。用身体威吓、惩罚、发泄或攻击自己或别人是一个不健康的选择,可能导致麻烦。
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Post time 2010-1-7 10:18:56 |Display all floors
5. Communicate about the feelings when you're aware of them. Saying "I felt scared when I saw you speaking to that guy at the party" or "I feel scared you're going to find someone you like better than me" can prevent acts of aggression, because things are being dealt with in real time.

  当你觉察到了感受的时候交流一下它们。说“当我看见你和那个男人在派对上谈话时我感到害怕”或者:“我害怕你会找到一个你喜欢的程度超过我的人”可以预防侵犯行为,因为这些事情在实时地得到了处理。

6. Get some counseling or coaching to unwind the issues that underlie the fear and destructive behaviors. It is totally possible to change aggressive tendencies quickly when given the right support.

  获得一些咨询或辅导,来解决潜藏在恐惧和破坏行为之下的问题。 当被给予了正确的支持,完全有可能迅速地改变侵犯型行为。


Tips

  小提示


-  If your partner is displaying aggressive tendencies toward you, it's important to create healthy boundaries for yourself immediately. If you are unsure how to do this, seek counseling or coaching for yourself.

  如果你的伴侣朝你展现出侵犯性行为,重要的是立刻为自己树立起健康的边界。如果你不确定怎么做,为自己寻求咨询或辅导。
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Post time 2010-1-7 10:19:12 |Display all floors
Miscellaneous
无题
-- Herman R. Felton


For years I've been getting a terrific rotisserie chicken from a nearby restaurant. One night as I placed an order to go, I told the girl behind the counter, "I'll pick it up later. Do you want my name?"

  长年以来,我都一直在附近的参观买一种相当棒的烤鸡。一天晚上,当我要定一份带走的时候,我告诉柜台后的女服务员,“我等会儿来拿。你要知道我的名字吗?”

"Oh, no," she said. "I've seen you come in here a lot." Then she scribbled something on a piece of paper. Feeling flattered, I did my errands. When I grabbed my order, I glanced at her note on the bag: "Old man in the pink shirt."

  “哦,不”她说”我看见你经常来着儿“然而,她在纸上迅速写了点什么。我感到十分荣幸高兴,于是去跑着办自己的事了。当来取我定的鸡时,我瞄了一眼她在袋子上的留言:”穿粉红T恤的老头“



Miscellaneous
无题
-- Dennia Agena


I was browsing in a military surplus store when a young couple came in pushing a little boy in a stroller. I couldn't help noticing the father was in full punk regalia: spiked hair, black leather gloves, snake tattoos visible on his arms. Later I saw him running through the store frantically calling for his son. Relieved when he found the boy in another aisle, he embraced him and admonished, "Don't go where Mommy and Daddy aren't able to see you. A scary man might grab you."

  一次我正在逛一家剩余军品商店,这时候一对年轻的夫妇推着里面坐着一个小男孩的车子进来了。我。。禁不住注意到父亲全身朋克装束:尖尖头发,黑色皮手套,手臂上可以看见有蛇纹身。后来,我看见他慌张地在商店里面奔跑,一边叫唤着儿子。当找到那个男孩在另一条商场走廊上,他放下心,抱着他,语气温和地训诫说:”不要去爸爸妈妈看不见你的地方。吓人的人可能会来捉你“
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