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Theory Of What Would Work For Me
Theory Of What Would Work For Me|
At that point she said, "... 'Perhaps you are naive in affairs of the heart' "
I develop this matter and idea tenderly.
Over the years I have had many an opportunity to taste homemade Chinese food. Many many students have offered to come cook for me, and have done so. Sometimes almost by total surprise. This continues to touch my heart, their kindness.
And the PRECISION with which they cook here. Wow. HOW can a culture produce so many people who know DETAILS of the foods and what they are good for, e.g. mu guoa mushrooms ... They will say this is good for so and so, that is good for such and such.
Some students accept an arising on the spot challange of being able to take just anything I happened to have in the place and transform it - magically - into a tasty meal. How did they every come up with such an idea? And how do they learn this without formal classroomn trianing in cooking? This has evinced to me the power of CULTURE.
This teaches me how little I know in the overall scheme of even one thing, cooking.
Well anyway what works for me? I enjoy the insightful observation and sharing about life, its agony and ecstacy. If two people know nothing of the pain or joy in life, what is there to talk about ? The weather? boooooring.
I love watching the subtleties of Chinese countenances, the honesty is invariably painted on each person who talks to me in China. Perhaps I may have said something wrong, or perhaps the person with whom I am talking is animated. I love the honesty of each.
I have come to enjoy being the respect for protocol in China. If you say you will be there or another person says he/she will be there, then it will be true. Chinese people can lead the world in affaires-diplomatique, always right on protocol. And demeanour. And watch out because in public you will see one aspect, but in private, you will see a completely different person. This development of two sides of an individual produces maturity and wisdom.
Here is a true life real story: One time years ago at the end of the semester, I sat down with a student to a leisurely lunch one lazy Sunday summer afternoon. She was from Anhui, and had worked very hard that semester, ending up one of my honours students. Now being a maths student, she was not adept in English (of course my Mandarin was poorer by orders of magnitude). Still in the subtle course of several hours of a delicious meal and as many courses and dishes, I told her of being so disappointed in western women, the lack of character of western women and of course men. I told her how it was not unusual to see deceit, violence, and infidelity in the west. She understood me. My personal story was sad because of absolute betrayal I had experienced - twice in my life. I will never forget what transpired next.
Her English had been very hard to understand up to that point. But then in the warm little restaurant, no one around, she looked me straight in the eye and said something to me, a highly trained experienced and established scientist from the west. She said something in a soft voice, direct at me. She looked into my eyes and strongly stated, almost matter-of-fact, in perfect English: "Perhaps you are naive in affairs of the heart"
I was comPLETely taken aback. After vocabulary differences and repeating what was being said, this. Here was the voice of truth, emanating from my younger student - interspersed with hard to understand English, and a simultaneously highly complex and far-reaching topic. Yet there was the truth laid out for me, plain as the nose on my face. I am sure my face turned 7 shades of red. I lost words, it was such a clear, gentle yet sharp arrow of insight into me. I lost face and modestly acknowledged, "Yes, --- -- --- , you are right, I am naive in affairs of the heart." I laughed, or gasped, I suppose, at such an obvious revelation.
With that, the lesson - mine - was over. We finished the meal and most embarrasingly she paid for it.
Well with that I am going to close this string in the thread. I still am learning. I still haven't gotten to exactly what would work for me. But I didn't get here in one day so I am sure I won't get an answer to what would work for me in one day. But I know that honesty and openness work in harmony with beauty; deceit and the hand of contrivance are always ugly wherever I find them. And I did learn, several years ago, that I ... " am naive in affairs of the heart..."
And I know truth when I recognize it. Thank you, --- -- --- .