Author: bornof_fire

the hardest thing [Copy link] 中文

Rank: 4

Post time 2004-2-24 17:00:21 |Display all floors


Here is the official web site for San Francisco's Chinatown.

You are very lucky to have the opportunity to live in San Francisco.

San Francisco, Seattle, and San Diego are the most beautiful Cities in America, and they are all on the west coast. From here, China is the Far West--not the Far East, hehehe!

Good luck and best wishes!

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Post time 2004-2-24 22:01:46 |Display all floors

to my husband

Thanks for your help and I fell much better now. I am sorry about our argument this afternoon. But I think it’s good for us. After every argument our relationship and love grow a lot. I am very happy we can get though this. It's so strange that I feel getting more and more mature after married.
I have to admit that it’s very hard to overcome different social system different culture different language and so on. There are some different stuff which I have never thought about before we get married. But I have enough confidence to work it out and won’t let it in our way. Nothing can stop me loving you.
Let’s grow old together. xixi

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Post time 2004-2-24 22:03:49 |Display all floors

to blue tiger

Thanks for your help and best wishes. You really have a good sense of hummer . If it’s possible I’d like talk to your girlfriend. Since she has been there for a couple of months and she must know something new of America. I speak mandarin what about her? By the way my husband is white and he is really willing to learn Chinese culture. But pity he only can speak a few mandarin, so sometimes I really get frustrated by the language obstacle. What about you? Do you guys have the same problem like we do? What’s the biggest problem between you and your girlfriend? Hope my questions not bother you. Thanks again for your support. Have a nice day!

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Post time 2004-2-25 13:44:28 |Display all floors

to blue tiger

thanks for your advice and guidance about my wifes concerns. yes, i have already figured that getting involved in communities here is the best way for her to adjust. i knew that s.f was the best place for her to adjust to america due to the large population of chinese people here. Many people in my neighborhood are chinese. But, I mostly hear people speaking cantonese.I wish I could speak it.

but i am not controlling. stubborn? yes i am stubborn thats true.
but not controlling. i would help my wife with whatever she needed to adjust to being here. at all levels and yes maybe i could not understand her innermost feelings and fears but, as her husband those should be known i think so i can fully understand her needs. dont you agree?

and just for your information.

im a recoverying alcoholic so i have much more compassion than most of the general public. due to my spirituality.

i thank you again for you help tiger.

to my wife.

hey babe, seems we are on the right track. getting feedback from everyone is what we need.


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Post time 2004-2-25 16:38:44 |Display all floors


Beijinggirl, when my fiancee visited, last July, she learned that she had nothing to fear.

I took her on a trip though eastern Washington, down into eastern Oregon and along the famous, beautiful Columbia River Gorge, and we camped out each night.

I felt I was taking a big chance doing this, because people in China just don't do this. They don't camp, and I doubt if any know what it is, but it a very big part of life for many Americans. I was very worried that she would be terrified and panic from fear of the unfamiliar.

For the first two days, I was the one who was very nervous because of my worry about how she felt. Then, I saw that she was completely relaxed, always happy and smiling, and looking at everything.

She immediately knew what to do to help with the camping. We would stop in the evening to prepare to sleep. We were in areas clear away from people. She had never seen so land, as far as the eyes could see in all directions, without people! And the land was so very beautiful and clean with clear skys.

At night, we could see millions of bright stars in the sky. Animals made their night sounds. My fiancee and I would go for walks with only the light of the moon, and she was so relaxed, happy, and without fear. She was so full of joyfulness, like never before in her life.

Wherever we went, she was so surprised how very relaxed, generous, and friendly the people were to her.

She especially liked the town of Hood River, Oregon. It is so very clean and beautiful. She saw American family life for herself and how close the families are. She saw how Americans can work hard and then play hard. She saw things that just don't exist in Asia, such as white water kayaking, sailboarding, mountain biking, and other outdoor sports. She saw how Americans can really relax and be happy, when they aren't working.

She loves to eat pizza. Also, her favorite restaurant, near my home, is called the "Olive Garden," a nice Italian restaurant. She loves Italian food.

We also had eaten at two different Chinese restaurants and one Mexican restaurant.

She loved shopping in America. Her main problem was finding American made gifts to take to her family and friends. Nearly everything was made in China, hehehehe!!!

She and I love books and learning, so I took her to my favorite bookstore, Barnes & Noble. It is VERY large and has a Starbuck's Espresso shop in it. She ended up buying a lot of books as gifts.

Now, when we talk, and I tell her where I went to buy groceries or books, she knows exactly where I have been.

The only problems she and I have are not at all because of cultural differences, but because of problems she has had with her family, friends, and job. She is a school teacher and hates it, because she sees the many faults with the Asian educational systems, the cram schools, and the horrible lack of creativity.

She wants to continue with graduate education, in America, and become a researcher in a science field. She is so very, very intelligent and loves learning. Also, she is very strong and athletic. Perhaps, she is marrying me for the many hundreds of books I have, hehehe!

She reads very academic scientific books in English, and completely understqnds them, which was a very pleasant surprise for me. I very much encourage her in the things she wants to do. My greatest happiness is to see her happy.

When she was at the university, bother her mother and little brother died, and she still is so very sad and cries from missing them. I want to help take away that pain and fill her heart with happiness.

I will give you her e-mail address by private message, and I'm sure she will be happy to talk with you and answer any of your questions. And, yes, Mandarin is her native Chinese dialect. :-)

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Post time 2004-2-25 16:59:44 |Display all floors

Even more

Beijinggirl, I don't know if you had read a previous post I made, that my father had helped a Chinese immigrant and his family, when I was a small child.

My father died, rather young, but he was a very special man, so full of wisdom and caring for all people. He was so very open-minded and colorblind to race. He treated all people with respect and understanding.

The Chinese man, Roy Wong, was my "Chinese uncle." Our families were very close. It was because of this that I was taught so very much about all things Chinese.

He was the great grandson of the famous kung-fu grandmaster Wong Fei-Hung, who is the basis for so very many movies in southern China. From my 5th birthday, he taught me the real kung-fu that is so very, very rare, nowadays. Also, he taught me the various aspects of Chinese culture and philosphies, many of which have not been taught in China in many years, because of the Cultural Revolution. So, inside, I am Chinese in many ways, if you understand what I mean.

I used to be able to speak Cantonese, but my ability has deteriorated, over time from a lack of practice. It isn't like a western language that is much easier to maintain. It is because of the tones in Chinese languages.

I tease my fiancee that I have to teach her to be Chinese, hehehe!

There are many good books about Chinese culture, written by Chinese people who have come from China to live in America. I can make list of some of the best to send to you and your husband. Your husband can learn a lot about Chinese culture and what they went through to adjust, and you can read the books to see how they saw American culture and how they adjusted. You and your husband, then, can meet in the middle with much more understanding.

My fiancee read the books (they are printed in both English and Chinese), and she got a lot from them, including things about Chinese culture that she knew nothing about.

As long as life and things change, and as long as learning occurs--there is life.

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Post time 2004-2-25 18:56:14 |Display all floors

INS info

After the marriage, the U.S. citizen spouse may file an immigrant visa petition on behalf of his or her non-U.S. citizen spouse. U.S. citizens who reside in China may file immigrant visa petitions on behalf of immediate relatives at the Embassy in Beijing or at one of the Consulate Generals at Guangzhou, Shanghai, Chengdu or Shenyang, whichever has jurisdiction over the place of registration of the marriage or over the petitioner's place of residence in China.
[Note from Blue Tiger: this portion should be pursued. If bornof_fire goes to the INS office in San Francisco, it is possible for him to speed the process by applying for your immigrant visa through them.]

Those U.S. citizen spouses who do not reside in China should file the petition in the United States at the U.S. Immigration and Naturalization Service office which has jurisdiction over his or her normal place of residence. The approved visa petition will be forwarded to the U.S. Consulate General in Guangzhou for processing. The Consulate General will then send instructions to your spouse explaining how to proceed. These instructions will include forms to fill out and return. One of those forms, the biographic data sheet should be completed and returned promptly because the visa petition cannot be processed until that form has been received. The instruction packet from the Consulate General will also include a list of documents which must be obtained.
Your spouse will need to provide the following:

a notarial certificate of birth

a certificate of (no) criminal record for every place he or she has lived for six months or longer after age 16

a notarial certificate of marriage

(The above three documents can be obtained at the local Chinese notarial office)

a current passport

evidence that the applicant will not become a public charge (the petitioner or some other financial sponsor may complete an affidavit of support, Form I-864, guaranteeing that he or she will support the applicant; the affidavit must be substantiated by documentary proof of income and assets).

Additional documents may be required of your spouse.

Please read carefully the instructions from the Consulate General in Guangzhou. When your spouse has obtained all the required documents, he or she should use the form enclosed in the packet to notify the Consulate General. The Consulate General will then schedule an appointment for a visa interview and send the application forms which will need to be completed prior to the interview, as well as instructions regarding the physical exam. Physical exams have to be done at the Tongren Hospital in Beijing or in Guangzhou at a hospital specified in the instructions.

The applicant must then go in person to Guangzhou for an interview with a consular officer. If all documents are in order and no grounds for refusal have been found, the visa will be issued the same day.

After your spouse has obtained an immigrant visa, he or she must travel to the United States within four months. At the time of admission into the United States, your spouse will be processed for an alien registration card (a "green card"). The card will be mailed to the address given to the INS officer at the port of entry; however, your spouse will be given a temporary permit in his or her passport at the time of admission.

If at any time your spouse wishes to remain outside the United States for an extended period, he or she should apply to the INS for a reentry permit before departing the United States. This document can only be obtained in the United States.

A permanent resident who remains outside the United States for more than 364 consecutive days will lose the right to permanent residence unless he or she has first obtained a reentry permit from the INS. You should consult your local INS office for additional guidance before the U.S.-citizen spouse departs the United States for a prolonged stay overseas.

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