Author: holidays

Let's talk about international and interracial marriage [Copy link] 中文

Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2006-5-23 23:07:14 |Display all floors

Thank you all for dropping in.

Zhijian, I am happy for you. She sounds like a very nice girl. It appears to me that your name is Chinese. Is she Chinese as well?
Edon, Personally, I never met anyone on line. So I don’t know how on-line romance works. But you are right, the more adversity a relationship faces, the closer you two become.
Mike, I still don’t understand why most westerns are so afraid of bones. And you shall see my face when I tried the rare prime ribs for the first time.
Tarheel, Thank you for understanding my intention. Everything has different perspective. There is no good or bad. Being open and honest is the best.
Blkzangirl, It is funny that you two are complete opposite of us. It seems culture, race, nationality plays very differently on individuals. Maybe that’s so-call chemistry? I am brave enough. So how did you two meet?
Forgive my English

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Post time 2006-5-24 06:09:08 |Display all floors
We've known each other for sometime.  I use to buy pictures from him and his partner.  One day he asked me to have lunch.  He was trying to tell me that he liked me.  So he says, "You and I will always be friends but not like young people. you know today they like each other, tomorrow they like somebody else. I don't want us to be like them."  I just smiled, because I wasn't sure what he meant. Then he say's in Mandarin, Wo ai ni.  When he saw my eyes light up, I told him that I felt the same.

It is not easy for him to understand the Aftro American culture at times, but he is willing to learn.  He is surprised that I know about Chinese culture.  We both know that in order for a relationship to work you must be willing to except each others faults and culture.  Surprisingly to both of us, Chinese eat some of the same things as Afro Americans, it's just cooked different.

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Rank: 4

Post time 2006-5-25 21:43:34 |Display all floors

problems with cross cultural relatoinships....

To all out there who have been in a cross cultural relationship, what problems did you face that were not assosiated with being in a relationship of same cultures...in detail and how did you deal with them?
i have never been in a cross cultural relationship but i am seeing several close friends go through some problems with their Chiense girlfirends!  
Just in terms of the role of the man and woman!  
sInce i seem to be the one who they turn to for advice...forumites..im asking those who are experienced in this...what issues did you and your girlfriend have to sort through to have a successful relationship?

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Post time 2006-5-25 21:57:19 |Display all floors
My ex-girlfriend in high school who was italian / metis, so pretty much 'caucasian' flirted too much with other guys so I got real uncomfortable with that. Her way of being outgoing was more than I could handle (way too huggy kissy to friends) so I dumped her because I tend to be very loyal and can become jealous or protective. If someon else smacks her butt while she is going out with me and she enjoys it then I see it as a bit of a problem.  I suppose it was just for fun and it would of never been more serious.
((EyeOfStorm))
~All that which glitters is not gold~

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Post time 2006-5-26 05:03:55 |Display all floors

Things are much easier today.........

When my Chinese wife and I have a disagreement we get on the computer and translate into Chinese/English our feelings.

It usually ends in our understanding that we did not understand or we took it wrong.

The best thing to do is talk it out.

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Rank: 4

Post time 2006-5-26 08:56:46 |Display all floors

Yes i understand what you are saying....

But i am sorta asking you what exact problems are you facing..
like one of my friends Chinese Girlfriend throught that western food would make her fat so we would go out to eat western food and she would just complain.  We eventually found places that did good western food and good Chiense food and now that problem was over.  However she is trying more and more western food and enjoying it.  Yet my friend was really ....annoyed because he felt like he was restricted by what he could eat since he loves her so much...yet they worked it out..ohhh...

And another one of my friends whith his Chinese girlfriend finds it really hard when his girlfriend talks about hwo much she loves her mum but also shares how she cant tell her mum this because its not in her culture...Its so funny to hear them debating about stupid issues like these.  Ofcourse they end up laughing....but what exact issues have you to had to overcome...

and maybe its fair to ask.....what issues did you have to change to get along with your partner from another culture!

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Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2006-5-26 10:09:03 |Display all floors
diversity...its a beautiful thing.
((EyeOfStorm))
~All that which glitters is not gold~

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