Author: yuzhouyuzhou

the girl i fall in love with is evil [Copy link] 中文

Rank: 4

Post time 2006-4-3 08:01:39 |Display all floors

love stem from good impression from the girl

as for any relationship, we start the relationship when we are still strangers. i don't  think i am immature as to love, since i really fall in love with her, you know, it is possible to fall in love with a girl. we call " love" just because of our habits. and fall in love with somebody is also love, you cannot imagine this feeling how strong it is

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Rank: 4

Post time 2006-4-3 08:04:23 |Display all floors

don't ignore the feeling of fall in love with a girl

it can also make people be hurt deeply

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Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2006-4-3 08:04:41 |Display all floors
You are also "lack of empathy" (say "lacking empathy) because you don't understand that 1) she doesn't want to talk to you probably because a) you just dumped her friend and b) you now are trying to date her, and 2) nice people don't try to date their ex's friends! Can you imagine what's going through her mind right now? Let me give it a shot...

"Oh no, he's calling again... I really don't want to talk to him! Maybe if I don't answer, he'll think I'm busy or I'm not here and then he'll stop calling me. I know if I do pick up the phone, he's going to have some long explanation that I don't feel like listening to right now, and then he'll want to know why I don't want to talk to him, which I don't feel like explaining... He just broke up with my friend, and even though it went fairly smoothly, her feelings are still hurt, and she's relying on me to be there for her and soothe her because she did just lose a boyfriend. I'm loyal to her because she's my friend and I only know him because she dated him--friends will always come first! And now he says he loves me, which is why he broke up with my friend, and that just confuses me and hurts my feelings because I can't believe someone would actually leave their girlfriend to try to be with their friend--so rude! Even if I did like him, I couldn't handle his feelings right away because right now I have to be there for my friend, and I think it's mean of him to so soon after breaking up with her try to date me. I wish he'd stop calling!"

Key points:
-it is too soon after the breakup for you to be acting this way
-her primary responsibility right now is to your ex as her friend, not to you as a potential boyfriend
-her feelings are hurt and confused on behalf of her friend
-it is rude to try to date your ex's friend

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Rank: 4

Post time 2006-4-3 08:08:43 |Display all floors

everything has two sides

can you weight different sides, and compare them. in this case, who was hurt deeper, who chase whom, please understand the case, don't think each side is the same weight.

if your brother were me, how you can have this position, now it seems that the girl is your relative, your position just sopport her much more than me

[ Last edited by yuzhouyuzhou at 2006-4-3 08:11 AM ]

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Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2006-4-3 08:17:43 |Display all floors
Yes, there are two sides to every story, and the only one I've heard is yours. However, here are some fairly objective facts:

1) It is rude and creepy to keep calling someone who is obviously not interested in talking to you.
2) It is also rude to try to date your ex's friend. This is because the friend has stronger ties with your ex as a friend than she does to you, and when you break up with your ex, it is her duty as a friend to comfort her. All good friends will do this. To try to get between the two of them is unkind to both.
3) The breakup can't have happened more than a couple weeks ago. This is far too soon to make a move on anyone for a serious relationship, much less your ex's friend.
4) Calling someone "evil" and "immature" just because they don't want to talk to you is not a fair assessment.

If you were my brother, I'd still be giving you the same advice! I'd still say wait, stop calling her all the time, try to understand her point of view, and really, get yourself out of this situation--look for a new place to find a girlfriend. Your ex's friend is not a good target.

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Rank: 4

Post time 2006-4-3 08:21:25 |Display all floors

yes you are right, but my ex's friend is also a girl

it is not  incest, why you forbid me to date her, it is unfair to me

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Rank: 4

Post time 2006-4-3 08:24:44 |Display all floors
i am a boy who also need to find a girl who i really fall in love with, my ex-gf is a nice girl, but i have no choice, i said sorry to her, and wish i can do some thing to make her better, but that girl i fall in love with doesn't know how to understand my feeling. i know my ex-gf is nicer than her, but i believe love involes not only kindnedss

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