Author: qquk1982

Can you help me correct this letter? [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2006-3-25 16:38:06 |Display all floors

Reply #3 nanren888's post

very good

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Post time 2006-3-25 17:20:34 |Display all floors

希望我的进步能够有目共睹吧!!

I hope my efforts and progress can be impressive soon!
my understanding.
或者升的更高,或者彻底堕落;
或者成就自己,或者毁掉自己。

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Post time 2006-3-31 13:50:05 |Display all floors

For a better understanding:

In order to correct your letter, you need to understand your mistakes, and you need to see why the correct English is different.  One thing that you can do to make fewer mistakes is to write simpler sentences.  You should follow the rule of "One idea, one sentence" until you are not making simple mistakes anymore.

Hi, good day!
    Hello, Hi, Good Day, all of these are OK.
    But, a letter usually starts with a salutation, like "Dear Friends," etc.

I have been back to UK for a while.
    I've been back in the UK for a while.  (IN a country, AT school, TO work).  Please learn these.

The weather here is still cold as before.  (before what)?
    The weather is still cold, like when I was here before.  
    (This says the weather in the UK was cold when you were here before, and it is cold now).
    (If you say "as cold as" then you mean it is the same cold temperature as before, a slightly different meaning).

I am very appreciated the good advise which you gave to me last time.
    I really appreciate the good advice you gave me the last time I asked.   
    (ADVISE is a verb which you do, ADVICE is a noun, which you receive or give).

So I decided to practice my English through mail or diary everyday.
    So, I decided to practice my English through the mail, or by keeping a Diary every day.
    ("through the mail" means writing letters, "keeping a Diary" means writing in one).

My ACCA course has been started on March, which is really tough work.
    My ACCA course, which is really tough work, started  IN March.
    (You do things IN a MONTH or you start ON a DAY).

It is not that the variable methods we have to focus on each question- in fact in most circumstance I am sure that it is interesting.
    WOW!  This sentence may have no meaning in English!  Please try to write it again.  I think perhaps you meant something like this:
    It's not the different ways we must focus on each question that is so hard.  In fact, I'm sure that it is interesting.

It's just that you have to sit there alone do the praetices all night,
    It's just that you have to sit there alone, doing the practice work all night.
    (you need to specify what practice is).

It's really a time consuming and boring.
    It's really time consuming and boring.

However, I still believe that patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.
    However, I still believe that although patience is bitter, its fruit is sweet.

To be honest, even living on aboard, I don't think there is any language advantage than people who living in china if you don't make any foreign friends.
    To be honest, even living abroad, I don't think there is any language advantage over people living in China, if you don't make any foreign friends.

However, this is most likely depends on personality, like me.
   However, this most likely depends on your personality, like mine.

I am an introverted person and alway too shy to talk in front of stranger.
    I am an introverted person and alway too shy to talk in front of strangers.

I have realised that is my problem, but I know it is a long-standing process to overcorne it,
    I realize this is my problem, but I know it is a long-standing process to overcorne it.

However, I am starting to make some friends through discussion forurm, hopefully my progress can be recognized one day.
    However, I am starting to make some friends through a discussion forum, and I hope my progress will improve soon.
    (the phrase "recognized one day" does not make a lot of sense in English, without changing more sentences).

Here is the re-written letter:

Dear Friends,

Hello! I've been back in the UK for a while.  The weather is still cold, like when I was here before.  I really appreciate the good advice you gave me the last time I asked.    So, I decided to practice my English through the mail, or by keeping a Diary every day.  

My ACCA course, which is really tough work, started  in March.  It's not the different ways we must focus on each question that is so hard.  In fact, I'm sure that it is interesting.   It's just that you have to sit there alone, doing the practice work all night.  It's really time consuming and boring.  However, I still believe that although patience is bitter, its fruit is sweet.

To be honest, even living abroad, I don't think there is any language advantage over people living in China, if you don't make any foreign friends.  However, this most likely depends on your personality, like mine. I am an introverted person and alway too shy to talk in front of strangers.  I realize this is my problem, but I know it is a long-standing process to overcorne it.  However, I am starting to make some friends through a discussion forum, and I hope my progress will improve soon.

OK

I should say, Nanren has a nice rewrite, without  all the explanations like mine. Thank you, Nanren.  3GKarma, as always, has a nice suggestion. Anacaona needs to simplify the sentences and watch her mistakes a little more.

[ Last edited by leungshuren at 2006-3-31 02:18 PM ]
LSR.  龙诗人  or  龍詩人
A crater on the planet Mercury is named 李白. (Li Bai)
http://dragonpoet.blogbus.com/

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Post time 2006-3-31 15:48:01 |Display all floors

Reply #10 anacaona's post

支持

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