Author: richardg

The problem with sex in China [Copy link] 中文

Rank: 4

Post time 2005-9-20 10:24:59 |Display all floors

Making Love

Sonaiwei and Sushil.  I just read both your posts and I want to thank you also for your input.  I agree with what you both say.

I think I have a definition for the difference between having sex and making love.

Making love is the ultimate act of intimacy.  
Having sex just looks like the ultimate act of intimacy.

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Rank: 1

Post time 2005-9-20 11:35:38 |Display all floors

sex and love

do u hv sex even when there is no love between u n ur partners?
Can u get satisfaction from intercourse to prostitutes ?
do u think they(street girls)  r dirty?

For most foreingers living or staying in China,it is difficult for them to sleep alone for nights cos they need women to f*uk.

for myself, I would take sinfulgirls' advice.Reading ur detailed writings, myself even get aroused...............

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Rank: 4

Post time 2005-9-20 12:45:25 |Display all floors

Answers

John, to answer your questions:
"do u hv sex even when there is no love between u n ur partners?"
Not intentionally.  But there can be no intimacy without love and there can be no love without honesty.   I am willing to be honest - so should my woman.
"Can u get satisfaction from intercourse to prostitutes ?"
No
"do u think they(street girls) r dirty?"
No

I don't know about "most foreign guys".  I don't know who they are.

Agreed on Sinfuls writings - she makes me dizzy.

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Rank: 8Rank: 8

Post time 2005-9-20 16:40:38 |Display all floors

interesting, huh?!

Well, I think there is a difference between making love and having sex.

with love making, its more intimacy, the whole process is more about reaching peak both psychologically and physcailly...you must have emotional attachments with that guy at first, i reckon?!

with having sex, its more casual and fun to me! Its like a way for people to relax, d-stress, and feel being wanted without hurting myself feelings. I dont see ons is a bad thing, it is actually quite good, at least, I dont need to be responsible for that one night thing, and both of us move on with our life. The most exciting part of ons for me is I screw a stranger! I think its so erotic, and you know nothing about him, and treat that all you guys have is just one night! therefore, you will so dedicate urself into that night, and give the best performance. Smetimes I would like to think its true that woman can use her body to seduce a guy, and mak the guy fall in love with her body, not her soul. Use her body as weapon to kill men! Isnt tht fansinating??

About those street girls, I dont think they are dirty, some of them are born unfortunate, whtelse I can say about it? however, some of them, I would like to use the world Escort instead of street girl to describe them, they are just some girls that what to have some fun in their life, they might be office ladies in the daytime, but work as an escort during night time, they might just want to spice up their life a bit, and its a means to do it! So nothing wrong or dirty about them!!

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Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2005-9-20 21:47:45 |Display all floors

Oh my! Dear sinful....

Even though it is a bit hard to swallow your philosophy about sex and love. But I have to applaud for your (almost brutal) honesty. I do thing lots of Chinese women holds similar view as yours. I know you are not being completely serious here. Since I am a serious person, I would like to put some thoughts into what you just said:
You said << with having sex, its more casual and fun to me! Its like a way for people to relax, d-stress, and feel being wanted without hurting myself feelings>>…
I heard that lots of women into one night stand said that. I am not trying to be judgmental. But in the end, man and woman are different. During the whole sex process, man have only one path and one tool to achieve one goal. But woman needs all the parts and tools and sometimes she is not even know where the goal is. I can’t imagine without putting you mind and soul in it, how can you really enjoy yourselves just by simple mechanism. Well maybe you can be imaging you are making love with someone really cares about you which is really hard to find in real life. But I can’t imagine a woman would choose having sex over making love if she have a choice.
I think lots of women who are into one night are deep down emotionally very vulnerable. They use being offensive like “screw you” or “use your body”  to hide their insecurity. They believe most men are bad and can only do damage. But at the same time, they need men, just like all women do. So they close their hearts by opening their bodies, to have sex only with strangers to fulfill one night’s fantasy of being loved.
I don’t buy sinful’s using her body to seduce man. You intentionally cut off the natural link of body and soul to show off your ability to be above things. But I can almost feel your tears. I almost want to give you a hug. Not out of pity, but out of deep understanding of your pain and fear. It is true that it is a jungle out there. But we need to have faith. By putting your heart and soul out, we might get hurt again and again; we might be disappointed again and again. But who say life is easy and fair. If it is, there will be no fun. Men are not our enemies. They are just like us, sometimes naughty, sometimes vulnerable too.  They need to be loved and pampered and spoiled just like us. Love them adore them and take care of them! If he rejects you, too bad for him.  Keep finding the one can really appreciate you. And once you find him, there will be a hell lot more fun. Trust me!

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Rank: 8Rank: 8

Post time 2005-9-20 23:24:01 |Display all floors

holiday..

Hi Holiday

Thanks for your input...=)

I am being serious here, though i like putting 'lol' to make myself sound less serious..=P...what i posted here is the truth, the only truth i have towards my life..and i have a negative outlook in relationship/marriage/sex!! Below is part of my story.

I think there are many reasons that make me so negative these days..I dont want to recall them one by one, cos by doing that, I wont be able to change myself into an innocent girl. I like screwing around, and I know it is a bad thing for a girl at my age, I just start my life, but I have already fucked it up!! My life is a tragedy, I was born to suffer all these things...Its a mistake to be here I think...

You were not me, You didnt experience what I have experienced before, its all bad things, I cant say that I have had much good time since I was born. Maybe the only good thing is that I can escape from my family in China..and start a new life in Oz?! I can be away from the shitty, hateful, angry, absurd shanghai...thank God!!

I still remember the first time i ever had sex with a man, i was by then 17yo...I didnt know the exact intention behind that first sexual attempt. I just wanted to lose my virginity, I dont want to lose it to someone tht I love later on, cos i know i wont be able to be with the guy who I love..So its better to lose it to a stranger, so no emotional attachments!! Yes, So here I was, I picked my hairdresser, and I screwed him, and left him once I got what i want! He was pissed off by this. I then thought I was no more a virgin, and free to do whatever I like..

ONS, I started this after breaking up with my bf, who is again 30 yrs older than me, he is the only man who i have deeply and madly in love with..but there are again lots of obstacles between us, so split-up seems to be the only exit for us. I was so depressed, I committed suicide, but it didnt end my life..maybe breaking up with my ex has been the turning point in my life, since he has moved on with his life so fast, which is unbelievable, he is even engaged few mths ago!! I get shocked, I feeel that I got fooled by him, though I confess that I am stll in love with him, I start to dislike men, I sleep aroound, and play with those assholes...believe or not, I do climax quite often with those strangers, I dont know why...I love when they look at me so horny, and flirt with me, and fuck me hard...I guess its not nice thing to say, but i really like seeing myself in front of a mirror and being screwed by them..I laugh at myself in the mirror...I feel so good that I am getting more and more dirty after this ons...I always feel being unwanted, its always like that, sometimes, ons is a way to feel being wanted, though its just for one night, at least that one night, i am wanted by a man regardless what he is after me...

crying...holiday....i cry too often till i have sore eyes lately..=(...i dont know why i cry...doctor said that i am suffering emotional disorder, and gave me the medication, but i havent taken it yet...maybe i am really have some psychological problem...sometimes...i put a thick layer of wasabi on the bread..and force msyelf eat it all!! then I can feel the tears falling down..i dont know why i do that...i enjoy walking in the raining days...feeling the rain drops go thru my whole body..my veins...i guess i am kinda insane..though i find an execuse for mysef 'the only way to be sane is to go a bit crazy'..maybe i am a bit over done!!...yes...when comes to sex, i love to be spanked and whipped, i love to feel the pains...the pains deep into bones..and it can reminds me of my existence...reminds me how dirty i am, how pathetic i am, how helpless i am...and..pleasure can be so sinful....

holiday, i am sorry that my english is so broken, and i really dont know what i can say here...i just feel like a lost kid...i dont know where i am heading to...i am just so slutty you may say, i always have curiosu in guys...and i do use guys for sex in order to make myself dirty...so no one will ever like or love me...and i will be alone for good...i am cursed..my birth isnt blessed by others...its a mistake...and i will continue with this mistake...about ons...its been part of my life...i seperate my flesh and soul when comes to ons, i have a wickd soul...and a dirty flesh..and one day..i will end my life somewhere...

yes, i am not a lover, or saint, am a slut and devil...

thanks for reading the rubbish above...

sinfulangel.

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Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2005-9-21 12:44:53 |Display all floors

Sinful, oh my angle:

I am having hard time to say anything here. Because anything I say here will be too light compare to the heaviness of your situation.  I really think you need help.
But since I am here, I can put myself into your shoes and try to find a way out.
First, you are still young. Being young is your bank account that can pay for your mistakes. So don’t worry about the past.
Next, every morning after you get up, you need to make a commitment to only do good things to yourself, make yourself happy. Maybe a hot bath w/ flowers, a nice facial, style your hair, put on a nice and comfortable dress…. Anything that you have saved for that special moment for him, do it to yourself and most importantly, enjoy it. Maybe you will be sad at the fact that he is not there to share with you. That is OK. But remember to wipe your tears and look into the mirror. You need to start to take care of the most important person in the world, yourself. She is gorgeous, she is lovable, she is sad right now, but when she smiles, she can melt all the hearts of people around her. She is a little down right now, but when the life force starts to show through her eyes, she is invincible.
You don’t need others to tell you how great you are, you know it for a fact because you are a smart girl.
Now, let’s try to get to the source of the problem. I have to say that you are a little bit spoiled. You know why I say that? Because you wouldn’t let go of things. Just like a little girl chase after the empty ice-cream truck. All this self-abuse stuff you did to your self, it is just like the little girl cry and whine for attention. It did you no good. He is not your parent. His priority of life is to take care of himself. And you should do the same. In real life, there is no such fairy tale that you can always meet your prince of charm and live happily after. Life is given, but happiness is not. You need to MAKE yourself happy no matter what life have thrown to you.
Last about your emotional disorder, I would suggest you to take the medication. Sometimes when things spin out of control, it is good to take some aid. And please, keep seeing the doctor. I do think you need some professional help.
Last, last, about the one night stand stuff, who cares? Do what you like! But do remember to wear protection at all time.

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