Author: xiaolifeidao

Subjugated Sisters [Copy link] 中文

Rank: 4

Post time 2005-6-30 17:34:12 |Display all floors

to nexus949

"I know a lot of girls who are afraid of dating with Chinese. The question in their head is always: If this relationship gets serious and if we marry; how will he treat me? Will I become the housewive and mother or can I continue my career? After I give birth to his child, will I still be of interest to him, or will he cheat with a younger girl, while I take care of his child? And if he has an affair, will he still want to keep the relationship with me?"

"These questions many of Chinese women of today ask themselves and they dread the answers. They are forced into roles, which are unbearable for them and they are not willing to accept it. So, they turn to the Westerners, who they think will treat them right, let them escape from their traditional role and who will cherish the relation they have."

I am a Chinese woman, divorced, I felt so bad that I were forced into roles and got lots of pressure - I was always told "you should...." should make a baby, should take good care of kid and husband, should be obedient to my unreasonable ex-mom-in-law who was over jealous of me and not respected and accepted me a family member when I did't follow her "you should...". My ex hus and people around almost have the same view as she does.  I also have the same fear that "how will he treat me After I give birth to his child, will I still be of interest to him, or will he cheat with a younger girl, while I take care of his child? And if he has an affair, will he still want to keep the relationship with me?" In that case I didn't want a kid, I only wanted to escape from the traditional role. Only true love should be the good reason for me to have a baby...... I believe most chinese women will feel happy to have a baby and take good care of the baby and her husband if the hus and wife really love each other. She will try best to take good care of that if she is happily married despite that she also has a job as the hus does.

My advice: Chinese girls better not sleep with foreigners here to avoid being "subjugated sisters". Women should always be careful to not be men's outlets to release their "natural desire". I believe in general case a Chinese woman will not make sex with a man if she doesn't love or like that man. However a man could make sex to a woman out of natural desire even if he has no good feelings for her.

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Post time 2005-6-30 17:41:07 |Display all floors

If you have your own career

and if you don't lack of self confidence, why would you fear that someday your husband may dump you?

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Post time 2005-6-30 17:47:09 |Display all floors

Comrade daydreamer66, you are talking with a confused lesbo here :)

To be precise, a would-be lesbo suffering from a massive PMS (post marriage syndrome) !!!

What did I tell ya? Only the fringes of our society, the disowned and  despised, date white trash perverts taking refuge/shelter in China !!!

___


fly2heaven

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+ Posts: 25
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   2004-11-30

  lesbian or heterosexual?

First sorry for my poor English.

How do I know if my sex orientation is lesbian or heterosexual? I am confused. I am afraid I don't have much interest in men, don't trust men...

Anyone can help me?


2004-11-30 16:31

____

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Post time 2005-6-30 23:25:00 |Display all floors

boring, tired and tedious

OK!!!!!

How many times is this topic going to raise its boring, tired and tedious head??

The simple fact is ( and this fact knows no nationality)  – A single foreigner, is going to look for some companionship, and obviously the vast majority of possible partners are going to be of native descent.  How hard is this to understand?

In China....
Obviously a guy from… pick any country, colour, or ancestry… if he is dating, is going to be dating a Chinese girl 99.9999% of the time.

What’s the problem??

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Post time 2005-7-1 09:54:14 |Display all floors

Just for clarification- to Mr. Little Dagger

Messages which are found to be abusive, obscene, vulgar, hateful, slanderous, threatening, or which are otherwise in violation of any laws, deemed as such by the administrators, and at their sole discretion, will be removed. Users which have made posts falling into any of the above categories may face permanent banishment from the forum or their account may be subject to any other actions which are deemed appropriate by the administrators. This may require reporting you to the proper authorities such as law enforcement agencies or to your internet service provider. Logs of all forum activity, including the IP address of all posts, are recorded to aid in enforcement these conditions.

Forum Rules

I hope that you will be re-educated soon in some camp.

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Rank: 4

Post time 2005-7-1 16:33:59 |Display all floors

daydreamer66 & xiaolifeidao

Half a year later I came to this forum again. It seems the same situation as 6 months ago: some people still judge so easily , people abuse and attack each other, really boring and weird. On domestic forums I often see interesting topics, but to my great disappointment many narrow-minded people especially men always make the same disgusting comments, nothing new.  Such guys like you don't know the word "respect".

I have a decent job, no need to worry about money. And some people think it was my ex hus's loss that I divorced him.

I did came across a nice young western man who easily helped me to regain faith in love. I also encourtered another nice western man who is so patient, caring with me, discuss lots of things that my ex hus never bother to do with me. He made me believe man and woman can be true friends. I know some Chinese husbands don't bother to discuss values, feelings, thoughts etc with their wives including some educated men.

Many Chinese men will think their wives not "pure"  and will not touch their wives any more, feeling lost face etc. IF their wives were happened to be raped by bad guys; Many Chinese men are very  weak and do nothing to change the situation when their moms are over jealous of their daughers-in-law and don't even accept them as a family member.

BTW some men do have sex outside family instead of spending more time at home when their wives are pregnant or taking care of their young kid. Many men will think it is human demand and will not feel guilty - really good excuse but stupid and nasty. That is why there are so many prostitutes and AIDS carrriers in China.

Wives are not husband's possessions. In China it is still a long long way to go to make "man and woman equal WITHIN FAMILY" or maybe it is impossible to be equal for man and woman.

Bye bye

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Post time 2005-7-3 00:12:59 |Display all floors

why some men don't bother to know their wive's thoughts, values, feelings etc.

Why a man doess't bother to do that with his wife.

a) He once deeply loved a special woman, who is always cherished in his heart.
b) he doesn't love his wife. He married her for she is an appropriate woman to marry -pretty face, good education maybe.
c) He don't bother to love another woman any more after his first love. He only views his first love as LOVE. As for marriage and wife, that is not love in his eyes, but duty and social pressure maybe. A man living alone  is always regarded as a jerk, weird, after he getting elder and elder.

It is good for such men to live alone, not make big lie to your innocent wives any more you guys. Everyone has a heart, only one heart. Your heart was broken that doesn't mean you have right to break another woman's heart, your wife's heart.

BTW, a great posting written by "founderdata" (the topic is "40-year-old men in China and their counterparts") explains more I think.

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