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gyom2004, The question you brought up is valid. But it implies pre-mature ejacul
I sure understand where you come from. After spending so much time for courtship, wine and dine, slow hand and soft touch, kisses and hugs, promises and promises, holding hands together, taking a walk along the beach, take a trip to the countryside and sharing your meal together and then go back to the apartment........|
Then you found out it would last for 10 seconds,
"GONE IN TENS SECONDS" !!
THERE IS A LET-DOWN EFFECT, A VERY FRUSTRATING SITUATION.
You, ask the CHINA DAILY FORUM readers is it worth to spend so much time to chase a Chinese girl and then "GONE IN TENS SECONDS" all the energy you spent and the effort to enjoy, but "GONE IN TEN SECONDS".
So I proposed you to learn something about the parasympathetic system and the sympathetic system of the autonomic system in your body to control the erection and ejaculation.
There is no clear definition of "good sex" and "bad sex' but if it only lasted for tens seconds, it is bad sex and you then blames it on wasting your time, your energy, your effort and on the world why ? and your partner too, why?
As the last post mentioned it is the "sympathetic system" that control the ejaculation and once it reaches the orgasmic phase, there is no return and you become flaccid and frustrated and unable to perform and say to yourself," I spend a lot of yuans for dinner, gift, time and everything and it only lasts only ten seconds !"
The pronounced feature of a "good sex" is at least to last for 30 minutes to 1 hour. (even 20 minutes is acceptable for a beginner).
You don't need much energy, just self-control, not get too excited and remember sex is not dirty if you two are lovers and love each others so much and dedicate your life to each others as husband and wife.
You have to satisfy her and at least able to last for 30 minutes will be able to arouse her to reach orgasm and so she does not have to fake orgasm. (another post why so many Chinese women may fake orgasm).
If you can last for one hour or two hours, you can satisfy her and she can reach orgasm for 2 or 3 times and enjoy more and more.
This is a scientific study not about "dirty" or "bad" but enhance your relationship and marriage.
So many marriage fells apart because men and women use sex as weapons to hold back and fight. I fought with my wife but we forgot each others after making love passionately and remembered the good old times and laugh and forgot why and what we fought for. Yes, I broke the expensive plate while washing dish ! What a silly thing to fight ! I hate her spending so much money on dry-cleaning ! (God, what a very small thing to fight over dry-cleaning the clothes ) The thing we fight most is about "money". So I am no different than 1.4 billion Chinese that we have to face everyday problem and we "DON'T NEED MORE PROBLEMS WHEN WE GO TO BED AND FIGHT OVER SEX !