Author: cmknight

Questions about Marriage between Foreigners and Chinese [Copy link] 中文

Rank: 8Rank: 8

Post time 2005-3-5 10:59:15 |Display all floors

selrahc

please see my post:
http://bbs.chinadaily.com.cn/forumpost.shtml?toppid=315233

I've been here over a year, and can use chopsticks quite well.  I know this because my chinese friends have all stopped telling me how well I use chopsticks...lol


Dress like Chinese?  Or dress like chinese dressed like westerner?  lol

"martha Stewart served five months in prison and got out !"
I served six months in that school and I got out.  It was like a prison, too.  lol

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Rank: 4

Post time 2005-3-5 11:08:28 |Display all floors

welfare treatment.......

I have many buddys worked as teachers in different schools,so far as i know all of them are offered with good welfare treatments,such as pension,so it will not a big problem for your fiancee......

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Rank: 4

Post time 2005-3-5 11:13:57 |Display all floors

how about this?

So, let's assume whoever is in charge at her school isn't going to change his mind.  If either of you try to sway him, you run the risk of further antagonizing the guy, and costing her job.

But it would be a shame to see all the fruits of her labor goes to waste.

And it would also be unjust for you two not to wed.

So let's see...  how about a discrete wedding for now, and a "formal" wedding in 2 years?

If it's like the US over here, the wedding becomes fully legal when you apply for a marriage license and then have it signed by a justice of peace (or a clergyman, but I doubt they have that option in china).  Here in Michigan, you also needed it to be signed by two witnesses, who are usually relatives or close friends.  All the ceremonies and receptions are not necessary.  So theoretically, you can keep your wedding known only between the both of you for a good long while.

So, why not just get married legally?  Keep it low key for 2 years.  People would just think you are going steady.  Let her finish working, then quit that job and get on with your new life?  You can always through a big wedding banquet then, and get "married" all over again.  ^^

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Rank: 4

Post time 2005-3-5 11:28:48 |Display all floors

sounds...... not bad!!

If they are willing to do so!!

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Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2005-3-5 11:43:08 |Display all floors

I do not agree with Xiphoid's recommendation ! DO THE RIGHT THING !!

NEVER TREAT YOUR CHINESE WIFE AS SECOND CLASS CITIZEN, GIVE HER THE BEST AND STAY LOW KEY, GET MARRIED IN GZ OR SZ AND LET HER RETURN BACK HOME TO FINISH THE LAST TWO YEARS!

IF ANYONE ASK, TELL THEM HONESTLY YOU TWO ARE MARRIED AND YOU LOVE HER !!!!

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Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2005-3-5 11:49:50 |Display all floors

Rebecca, Money is very important in life and marriage and will bring security!

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Rank: 4

Post time 2005-3-5 12:11:53 |Display all floors

guy, it's only an idea, one of many possibilities out there

You are not treating your wife as a second-class citizen if she has an equal say on the matter.  It's not like I'm telling him to force his wife do this.  I'm just floating an idea around.  What ever they chose to do, they have my complete support.  You know I'm a married man and would like to see nothing more than people being happily married.

But let's ask ourselves.  What is marriage?  Getting together with friends and relatives?  The ceremony?  The reception afterwards?  Or does it reside within the hearts of these two people and under the eyes of God?

For me, being married means to work towards a common goal, a future shared by both.  Family, the good of everyone in the family, should come before the desires of an individual.  I make sacrifices for my wife, and my wife does the same for me.  We work together to stay together.  My marriage wouldn't have lasted this long without this understanding and unity.

With that said, life often isn't a win-win situation, and we are forced to choose one or the other.  Being married is a good thing, so is financial stability.  I'm only pointing out a way, an imperfect compromise, to possibly have both.  It's up to the guy and his beloved to decide what's more important to them.

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