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Re: Mikeuk's comments
It's really only been the last little while that I think I can imagine how difficult it must be for you to feel mistrusted like this. Like Mikeuk, I am going through this and have been for a while, and I'm still trying to figure things out (see a recent post of mine about "expectations of Chinese women"). I recently married a Chinese woman still living there but soon to come over (hopefully).
While I think your boyfriend over-reacted, I can sympathise, from a Western perspective. We Western men are used to open, direct communication. I've learned it's quite different than Chinese form of communications which is general more subtle. In China, direct questions about personal expectations and feelings, it seems, can seem threatening and maybe a girl feels like they are being accused of something. I completely understand where Mikeuk is coming from in his previous comment. I think Western men (who really care) are used to frequent, open communication. In the West, if you don't receive that type of communication quite often it is assumed that there is something being hidden. It seems for Chinese women this type of open communication is not even expected. Or, when a Chinese man asks to share your feelings, maybe he is doing so because he actually does suspect something, so when a Western man asks for it, and/or wonders about your feelings (just because he cares) the Chinese girls overreacts and thinks he doesn't trust me.
In the West, sharing your feelings with each other is a way to establish trust. Then, you both really understand each other. If someone is perceived not to want to share this, the other person thinks it is because the person doesn't feel the same.
ps. Mikeuk, I totally agree about phone lines. It's exceptionally difficult to try to understand subtle differences and come to an understanding when 50% of the time you're saying "What?? can you repeat that? No, no, I don't disagree, I just didn't hear everything you said?? Please repeat" and she says "nevermind...." or Jsut when you think you're finally understanding each other the line gets shitty, or cuts off.
We are definitely a patient and devoted breed of being :)