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I understand the exact feeling,
Hi Cecilia, <hug> I hope you feel better now. |
It's sad.Sis. I can totally understand the feeling which you have when he said you a "cheater",well,you are not.
I also had the same "feeling". (it's hard,dear) My bf called me "dishonest".I was so sad.
It happened one month ago, I was back from south China, the next day, it was a tiring journey to me, the next day, I went to see my bf. He was sick, he's not in the good condition. His every cough made me feeling pain in my chest, I really worried about him but i can't anything to "cure" him. He took medicines then slept most of the time.
As i said, i was so tired from my journey, actually i was seeing my family in my hometown, during the time staying with them, i found that i couldn't get along well with them, I can't get closer to them as i used to do...i felt lost. i was shocked, I couldn't have many words with my pals. They say I'm no longer "belong to" the island where I grown up...All these feelings were in my mind at that time when I was with my bf. I became silent, not talkative as before.I had all this mess in my mind, I'm simple-minded person, I was like panic when so many 'feelings' suddenly came to me,i don't know how to start talking about all the mess and i don't want to talk with him about this at that time.
he felt it, he said: you are like in distance. what's the matter? and I said,nothing...
believe me, when i said 'nothing',I only had one thought in my mind: Not to bother him at this moment, he's sick, he needs caring and love,not the mess which i even don't know how to tell... i didn't think that was "dishonest". When I don't want to talk, when I'm not in the mood of talking, I always said: nothing...then they know,ohh,ok,she doesn't want to talk,leave her alone...
however, my boyfriend doesn't think so, he called it "dishonest". Then he said he not trust me 100% any more...I was so sad. (I believe that you must understand my feeling at that moment) It did shock me, I felt very bad about myself, I never have anyone,especially someone so close to me, saying that I'M DISHONEST. I almost gave up 'coz i didn't know how to face him since he has this "image" of me being dishonest. however, we still love each other, we still together. It's a scar there. Anyway,I know what kinda person I am, I am HONEST and I still love him and trust him completely as at the beginning.
Do you guys think it's 'dishonest'??