Author: fly2heaven

lesbian or heterosexual? [Copy link] 中文

Rank: 4

Post time 2004-12-1 11:51:18 |Display all floors


I was born in rural areas, so did many of my girl classmates. I visited their homes but found most of their parents are very caring to daughter.

my dad made all decisions for me though I hated it. I chose a university far away from my home but he altered it into a local university. He always wants everything under his control.

Yes I just want to find a person who truly love me and care for me.

Suppose I were a lesbian, I don't even know I will act a "male" or "female"in the relationship. Yes it doesn't matter. I am  just trying to explore different channels.

I don't know if a woman is born a lesbian.

I just wonder if a girl may turn into a lesbian due to circumstances as Dr. lKanyuek said.

I wish I had a very intimate girl friend in company with me.

by the way I don't think I am a deviant.

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Rank: 4

Post time 2004-12-1 13:07:31 |Display all floors


"I don't know if a woman is born a lesbian.

I just wonder if a girl may turn into a lesbian due to circumstances as Dr. lKanyuek said.

I wish I had a very intimate girl friend in company with me."

according to some experts in this field, it is acknowledged that some homosexualers are born of that. they don't have any interest at all in the opposite six. some of them are even afraid of approching them. but most of the homosexualers are guided by the senior ones. and it is true that many girls would turn into lesbians due to the sad experience. one of my girl friend is a good example.

all in all, no matter you are a lesbian or not, just go ahead as long as you enjoy it.

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Rank: 4

Post time 2004-12-1 13:43:41 |Display all floors

I'd suggest...

...based on what you say, that you may have more of a bisexual orientation.

You refer to past relationships with men, where you were hurt.  I assume, then, that at SOME point you WERE attracted to men, and that it is at least partly because of bad experiences that you are no longer attracted to them?

If that's the case, then it sounds to me like initially, given typical Chinese cultural prohibitions against lesbianism, that you never really thought about or considered relationships with women; you focussed on me.

When you were hurt, and no longer interested in men, you then started to look more seriously at women, and consider them.  

If that is the case (and I really can't know for sure, given my lack of knowledge of your specific circumstances), then I'd suggest that you are more likely bisexual, not lesbian.  And that your emotional reaction towards men in general has caused you to focus more on the female attraction, since you no longer consider men to be an option.

IF you NEVER felt any attraction for men, that's fine...its a likely indication that you were always lesbian, and you should not worry about lack of attraction to men.  If, on the other hand, you once felt attraction for men, but no longer do, I'd suggest that this is more of an emotional issue, and while it isn't wrong to pursue a relationship with a woman, I'd encourage you ALSO not to write all men off...there ARE good men out there (and there are WOMEN who can hurt you just as much).  

Saying "I'm not attracted to men" is no problem; each person has their own preferences.

But saying "I don't trust all men", or something like that, is a problem.  It is no different from saying "I hate all blacks", or "All Chinese are evil".  You are judging ALL men according to your experience with a few men.  And I'd encourage you to face that problem in a positive manner, and to find men whom you can trust.  I'm not saying you should have SEX with them; but don't throw away every guy on the planet because of a bad experience with a few.

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Rank: 4

Post time 2004-12-1 14:57:24 |Display all floors


Dear canadianguy,

I said I don't trust men -means I don't think men will really care for me and bring me happiness.

I was once emotionally attracted to a girl when I was studying in senior middle school and become intimate friends but no sex.

I was once emotionally attracted to a few men but didn't feel the desire to have sex to them.

I am afraid I am always emotionally attracted not sexually attracted...though I did enjoy sex, physical orgasm I mean. Sounds weird??

I am trying to find a person who can be my soulmate and enjoy life to the fullest.

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Rank: 4

Post time 2004-12-1 15:20:27 |Display all floors


...find a person who CAN meet your emotional needs :-)  If that person is female, no problem

I don't think anyone here can answer your questions for you...only you can.  Find the relationships that make you happy.  Who cares if they are men, or women?

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Rank: 4

Post time 2004-12-5 14:52:04 |Display all floors

Oh, Gods, You are so Open

No matter you are attractive or unattractive right now, to men or to women, why you are so hurried to made desicion on whether choosing to be a Homo or Hetero.

Someone spend all her life in seeking a Mr -right,but she failed to do due to the fate she beleive in.

She can live without a boy or man,never  She never giving up to find a proper man in hope of forming a family.

Yeah, Nowdays, more and more people can live independly by themselves.

They don't need to be stuck with another one to survive, but with easy come and easy go theory,  they enjoy more and various relationships with  other people, weahter related to sex or not.

Is Homo  desirable just for sex

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Rank: 1

Post time 2004-12-5 21:18:54 |Display all floors

Fortunately I don't have the same problem as you

First I feel pity for you and frankly hope that you can find your true love no matter your fere is male or female,just believe your own feelings.

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