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Do your wifely best to help him understand what you need from him.
It was courageous of you to speak out about your marriage. I do observe there are some causes for concern but no need for disappointment. When a couple is first married, they are usually blind to each other’s faults. So did we. We were too much in love to notice the other party’s bad habits in the beginning of our marriages. But after our honeymoons were over or we got familiar with each other, there could be tendency to find faults and criticize each other. If not, we may have learned from our previous marriages. |
Per my observation and experience, one of the most important secrets to succeed at our marriages is accepting our spouses exactly as they are. Don’t try to change our spouses and to make them over into second editions of us. Don’t try to find faults with them and to nag at them all the day. The only persons we can ever really change in our lives are ourselves, no ones else. So accept our spouses just as they are and tolerate their habits we used to tolerate when falling deeply in love.
You should take initiative to make things better with the one you picked up for the rest of your life. Being his warm wife, not his boss, talk to him as usual, pay close attention to everything he says or does, praise him for everything he does, and let him be responsible for the family, never criticize. Praise will make him work harder, more effectively, and feel proud of him for what he’s done. As I know, women have more intelligence to communicate with their loved ones than men if they know what they are expecting. Please do your wifely best to help him understand what you need from him and start from there. Sooner or later, both of you will feel how lucky you are by having and understanding each other again.