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I've seen one traditional Chinese marriage
I've been in China 11 years, and attended many, many weddings here (having a foreign guest at a wedding gives a lot of face to the bride and groom).|
However, most of those weddings were the typical "modern" Chinese wedding -- which consists of nothing more than a big dinner, where people drink a lot, and play games to embarass the bride and groom. The only "traditional" part is when the bride wears a traditional red Chinese wedding dress...but she wears this only for a short time, as she's usually got at least two or three different dresses that she has to wear during the dinner.
I've only attended ONE "traditional" wedding -- and, rather ironically, this "traditional" wedding was a wedding between a foreign woman and a Chinese man!!
The bride wore the traditional red dress, with a large red cloth covering her head and face, and was led in by several other women. The whole ceremony was very traditional, and very beautiful.
During the Cultural Revolution, these traditional style weddings were considered one of the "four olds", and lost their popularity. Sadly, for most Chinese, they've never regained their popularity; very few Chinese today will follow those traditions.
On the other hand...some of the old traditional customs were done to EMPHASIZE that the woman was the man's property, and not his equal. And it is understandable that some Chinese today might consider those old-fashioned and inappropriate.
However, I think it should be possible to find a way to create a good compromise...to maintain some of the older, more beautiful and meaningful traditions of the marriage ceremony, while also demonstrating the equality and love of the two people getting married.
Just my thoughts.