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I know my thought towards life is quite strange. I dont know the exact reason why I have it in my mind...
Maybe you are right, cos of the previous bad experience. I had him, and lost him for various reasons. I dont blame anyone, I am fated to be alone .. After him, I couldnt find anyone who can make me happy again, I have tried, tried hard, but it doesnt work out. I still have him in my mind, and one part of my heart is still in love with him, though he has gone far away. I know it is bad, but I still feel hurt..but one day, I will be fine am sure about that!
or maybe cos I am scared of being with someone. It is scaring to be with someone all the time, day by day, you will grow certain feeling that you cant explain, I call it habit, I might not like him that much, but I just like being with this person, for example, enjoy having dinner with him, going to cinema together, and sharing things together. And it is a very dangerous sign to me, cos one day, he will disappear, and I am scared of the feeling when he is not around later on. I guess it is quite strange point of view.
Actually, it is quite cool to be alone here, no burden, no stress, I can manage my time, and do whatever I like. I like freedom, dont want to be bound to someone!! Maybe I am just too much for a man to handle....Life is how you make it, I enjoy what I have now, so I dont want to change it , and stay single!!