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Punishment is just as effective in the short term, but using pleasure to teach is more healthy for the mind. If you understand psychology, you will try to use pleasure rather than pain to teach. In Asia, ignoring people is common, so maybe it is not effective.|
If you use reward, all external rewards are the same, and it doesn't matter if it's monetary.
If you really want to raise a good person, then you need to teach them to develop an internal moral compass. They do right, because it is the right thing to do, and not for the sake of some external reward. They don't do what they know is wrong, not because they fear punishment, but because they wouldn't be able to live with themselves otherwise.
Violence is unfortunately easiest, and it is also very effective in the short term. What you don't see is the psychological long-term damage.
Kids are smart in that they know how to get what they want. I never said kids are stupid, or that they don't know what they're doing. But among other reasons, kids lack the good judgment that comes with experience, and hence kids and adults should not be treated the same way when they do something wrong. Some adults are not better than kids when it comes to good judgment, but here you blame the adult, rather than the kid.
In a normal family, kids are dependent on adults, and thus they are more vulnerable. Often kids will try to please adults and not the other way around.