Author: aaaamanda

Shall I leave? [Copy link] 中文

Rank: 4

Post time 2004-6-23 05:46:22 |Display all floors

I think u should give him a chance !!!

Although that he lied to you, i am sure it is difficult for u to accept him. You see him as what he describe to you. But the most important thing is that he loves you. So if u really want to see how much he loves you is that should influence him to change. Try to reason with him and try not to get to personal with it( i know it is personal). At least ask him to get a stable job. If he is unwillingly to change. Then i have nothing to comment but just dicth him. U have already been this far and u shouldn't turn back before giving him a chance for u.

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Rank: 4

Post time 2004-6-23 07:53:59 |Display all floors

To: aaaamanda - Re: leaving? only you know for sure

Truth is relative and to be effective it must consider the overall good, thereby making it subject to ethics. For instance if my friend is not dressed appropriately for work and no one minds, then the truth would not be for the overall good – it serves no purpose to tell my friend “You look like shit”. However, if he is on his way to a job interview then I would be compelled to tell him so he can take appropriate action.  

In your situation the question behind the lie is: was it done to protect the mutual relationship, in which case it would be for the overall good and forgiveness should ensue or was it perpetrated for personal gain (selfishness) only; if so cut your losses short and send him packing. If you don’t move on, it is because you are afraid you can’t do better – this is a bad reason.  

P.S. Don’t let your ego get in the way of your happiness and don’t allow yourself to be used as a doormat either.

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Rank: 4

Post time 2004-6-23 11:24:13 |Display all floors

ok. considering all these, i STRONGLY recommend you leave him.

it is not good to live with a person you dont trust.

distrust will ruin your marriage life, despite it is a difficult choice.

Good Luck

ps. i am not going to reveal my gender, a secret for everyone. a person's sex is not important in communication. what do you think?

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Rank: 1

Post time 2004-6-23 15:44:48 |Display all floors

we have a baby

thx to all.

the problem is we already have a baby.
and, he is in a great trouble now.
he keeps on explaining, but the more he explains, the more evil he seems to me, because what I can figure out is merely that he brought me into the whole trouble on purpose.
he knew  very well about the consequences from the very begining!
he knew it!

However, he has my sympathy, maybe love also.
I am in pain. Help, pls. Advice, pls.

To Hibuddie
sure it doesn't matter whether you declare your sex or not.
It is up to you. If any trouble caused by my previous post, sorry.

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Rank: 4

Post time 2004-6-25 16:49:55 |Display all floors

To aaamanda

Hi there,
I guess your previous posts have already given all the reasons that you should just leave him. I strongly doubt what GOOD things will happen if you are still going to be with him.

I can understand your feelings right now. One side you think you can forgive him and try REALLY hard to do it, but meanwhile you're just furious when you think about the things he has done, and think he is such an unforgivable person, a devil.

No one can actually help you deal with these mixed feelings, I hope you can just be strong and face what you have to face. Process is going to be hurt, but just stand up for yourself.

About the child...uhm...discuss about it when you're ready to leave him. But I would NEVER suggest leaving a kid to a non-motherhood ambience duirng his growth. Try to keep the child with you.

Hope we helped.

Good luck and be strong.

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