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How to choose a marriage mate? [Copy link] 中文

Rank: 4

Post time 2004-6-13 10:07:46 |Display all floors
What are the crucial issues one should consider when choosing a marriage mate?
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Rank: 4

Post time 2004-6-14 09:59:30 |Display all floors

My opinion is

that if you forget about marriage, relations flow better. I mean, just let the river flow, and if that person you are seeing is the right one, there will come a time when you will feel like you don't want to be apart from her. That will be the perfect marriage mate.

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Post time 2004-6-14 10:14:10 |Display all floors

Balance......

Balance in personal values, balance in family values..........

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Post time 2004-6-14 13:00:26 |Display all floors

To: Wendy - Criteria for choosing a mate

Ten "rimary Magic Attributes" for the ideal mate.

1.        Loving
2.        Passionate
3.        Understanding
4.        Caring
5.        Giving
6.        Tolerant
7.        Forgiving
8.        Charitable
9.        Moral
10.        Independent

If you meet these attributes give me a call, hehe.

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Post time 2004-6-14 13:37:24 |Display all floors

more like 10 magical years

you'd be dating going to and from each of 50 different phases of relationships with hundreds of people,  even up to engagement or the alter, hundreds of times if you tried finding 10 magical attibutes in any one of 10 billion not so magical people.

you just need to find someone you love, and who loves you, it could be years of dating to see if you fit in, or just a week if the man is man enough, and the woman is faithful enough.

Faithfulness is number one, which comes with the love.

Children are number 2 can you raise children with that person?

take the child to school, teach the child, take it Everywhere the two of you will be for the next 15- 20  years?

can you be with that person when you are 60 years old?

Do you want to waste every bit of your free happy life married?

Are you prepared to grow old with just that one person, and never be free to have another love, or to fall in love with someone else?

Do you REALLY love yourself? is your self esteem high enough so that if you get more confident in 4 years you will not want to run off and be free, and wild, and live it up, and fall in love with others, and be the object of desire of others?

these are the vital questions

most importantly...

Can you afford to get married, dowry aside, and have and raise children, will you be happy witout a house and a car if you get pregnant?

and MOST MOST importantly..
Are you a virgin when you get married?  what if its too late?  you better years away from the last sexual intercourse, and be "like a virgin".

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Post time 2004-6-14 16:37:11 |Display all floors

To: Tianguoren - Secondary attributes

Tianguoren,

You have entered the realm of the “Secondary Magic Attributes”.

1.        Faithfulness
2.        Responsibility
3.        Integrity
4.        Loyalty
5.        Resourcefulness
6.        Attitude
7.        Self-fulfillment
8.        Longevity
9.        Determination
10.        Honesty

In “love” virginity is irrelevant. The age of virginity is free-falling; you are more likely to get hit by lightening then to marry a virgin after age 22. Additionally, there are medical procedures in use to reconstitute virginity – so you will never know for sure.

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Post time 2004-6-14 23:43:21 |Display all floors

Wow, truly brilliant opinions!!! Thank you! : )

Dear jvt1965,thank you for your opinion. Your idea sounds very good and I also fancy romantic and natural marriage life, however, I'm sceptical if the ideals will conflict with the practical considerations. My parents don't seem to believe in romantic feelings.

Dear spiritrace, I also think *balance* is indeed very important. Those who have got married warn me that I should not expect too much from man and they also try to achieve a balanced values so as to maintain a relatively happier family life. I'm quite convinced of that.

Dear edon55, your criteria seem to be quite rounded and detailed. I do believe a perfect match can be filtered out via your criteria. Well, I personally think I have silimar attributes as you listed in your post because I've been constantly motivated and lead by examples by truly admirable people to be a nice Hakka woman. However I'm just wondering if you can meet my criteria instead? he he..:)
Look, what I think the important attributes of my Prince Charming are as follows: (not completed yet)

1.heathy body
(he must be non-smoker, no drunkard, no druggie......)
2.healthy mind
(no gambler, no playboy, no habitual liar,no slug, no extreme workaholic......)
3.He must value my strengths but will be ready to neglect my weaknesses.
4.He will have the strengths I most value and with the imperfections I'm ready to tolerate.

Dear tianguoren, you seem to be quite knowledgeable and experienced on love and relations issues. Very enlightening points you have given us. It seems that both the man and woman should be able to make certain sacrifices and compromises. Maybe we should heed your advice and refrain from asking for too much from a marriage. Maybe to give love generates more happiness than to receive love......Does it mean that I should marry someone who I love more than he loves me?What are the pitfalls and risk?

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