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求:顾城-《泡影》英译 [Copy link] 中文

Rank: 4

Post time 2014-7-5 07:42:05 |Display all floors

求翻译(大家一起集思广益一下):


顾城 《泡影》


两个自由的小泡,
从梦海深处升起……

朦朦胧胧的银雾,
在微风中散去。

我像孩子一样,
紧拉住渐渐模糊的你。

徒劳地要把泡影
带回现实的陆地。

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Post time 2014-7-5 08:02:53 |Display all floors
Bubbles

Two free bubbles arise from dreamy ocean

They joyfully dance amid wind and silver foggy weather

As a young kid, I tightly cling to your with all my efforts

And desperatively want to bring your back to land

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Post time 2014-7-5 08:03:43 |Display all floors
寻求共同进步

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Post time 2014-7-5 08:55:20 |Display all floors

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Post time 2018-4-12 21:10:08 |Display all floors
This post was edited by zhihu1 at 2018-4-13 06:50

Images of Bubbles

There're two free little bubbles
arising from the deep sea of dream

The obscure silvery mist
dispersed in the breeze

I was like a child
Hanging onto growing fuzzy images of yours

In vain try to bring them
onto the land of reality

Translated by zhihu1

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Post time 2018-4-12 21:15:29 |Display all floors
This post was edited by zhihu1 at 2018-4-12 21:26

Bubbles
Gu Cheng

Two tiny, free bubbles
Rise from the depths of a sea of dreams…

A vague haze, a slivery mist
Lifts in a soft breeze.

Like a little child
I cling to you, as you fade away.

Vainly trying to drag a bubble
Back to the land of reality.

Source: the Internet, the translator is anonymous.

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Post time 2018-4-12 21:23:59 |Display all floors
zhihu1 Post time: 2018-4-12 21:15
Bubbles
Gu Cheng

Bubbles ----- the title is not accurate
Gu Cheng

Two tiny, free bubbles ---- "tiny" is more poetic than "little"
Rise from the depths of a sea of dreams… -----three "of"s are a mouthful

A vague haze, a slivery mist ----- "mist" and "haze" are not compatible
Lifts in a soft breeze. ----"lift" doesn't fit

Like a little child
I cling to you, as you fade away.

Vainly trying to drag a bubble ----the poet was talking about two bubbles but not one.
Back to the land of reality. ---"back" is inappropriate as "bubbles" never ever existed in the land, how could they be "back"?

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