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Forum trends: Should Chinese care about "face"?[1]- Chinadaily.com.cn   [Copy link] 中文

Rank: 5Rank: 5

Post time 2015-7-30 17:55:22 |Display all floors
losing face never mind, but totally NO to losing respects. anyway, how much of 1 kg of face ?

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Rank: 5Rank: 5

Post time 2015-7-30 17:57:38 |Display all floors
but cannot behaved that i dont care about face at the same time and lost your civilization.

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Rank: 8Rank: 8

Post time 2015-7-31 15:38:56 |Display all floors
The Chinese would lie to save face for themselves and their friends. They will never tell their friends the honest truth; they have the habit of 'huai shuo hao, hao shuo huai, da shi shuo xiao shi, you shi shuo mei shi'(bad, say good; good, say bad; big problem, say small problem; got problem, say no problem)!
I'd rather they speak the truth, even if that hurts; playing this silly game of lies to save face confuses everyone except the Chinese who know instantly that the speaker is just being polite, so they don't really believe what is said, but again, to give the speaker some face, they will not say he is lying!  It's a game every Chinese plays so they understand each others' intention!  It's often the foeigner who is confused and unhappy when they find out later that what was said about him was not the truth, and that he had been lied to!

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Rank: 1

Post time 2015-7-31 15:54:36 |Display all floors
Yes should care for that

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Rank: 8Rank: 8

Post time 2015-7-31 15:59:51 |Display all floors
The Chinese obsession with 'face' is truly weird. They pay attention to minor things which might make them lose face, while ignoring the very things that really make them lose face. They save face selectively; for instance, so as not to lose face they would dress expensively with branded clothes, carry luxury foreign branded bags, drive expenive cars etc, but they don't care what others think of their anti-social behavior like spitting, littering, smoking in no-smoking places, driving through red lights, parking their expensive cars on pedestrian walkways, throwing garbage out their cars, even spitting out the car window, lifting their kids up by the thighs to urinate and defecate on pavements, etc etc, and these bad behavior are precisely what makes them lose face, but they don't care about it!  
There is nothing wrong with wanting to save face, the problem with the Chinese is that their concept of 'face' is limited to outward display, not character!

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Rank: 2

Post time 2015-7-31 19:01:17 |Display all floors
pnp Post time: 2015-7-31 15:38
The Chinese would lie to save face for themselves and their friends. They will never tell their frie ...

It's not true that Chinese people understand each other's indirect messages all the time. For example, someone some time ago just complained that her boss kept her waiting when she asked for a promotion. Her boss seems to be leading her to believe that she will get a promotion soon, but she said she's been waiting years, and she doesn't know what's on her boss' mind.

It is not good when you can't be honest even with your close friends just to "save face." I'll give you an example. These are close friends. Friend A orders an expensive drink CC for Friend B. Drink comes. Friend B tastes it, dislikes it, but because Friend A ordered it, Friend B must say it's nice. Meanwhile Friend C is looking to order a drink, since Friend B says drink CC tastes good, she orders the same drink. Drink comes, it's gross, but can't complain, because Friend A will lose face. So, instead of spending money on what could have been a nicer drink, Friend C had to drink something gross. Was it worth it? The psychological burden is high and hidden. Wouldn't this be better: Okay, Friend A doesn't mind being told the drink is gross because she is a strong person and she can handle criticism.

This is why Asian societies can't progress as they should, considering Asians are not stupid. But so much needless time, energy, money, is wasted on things that don't matter....progress never comes, because no one dares to criticize...The loudest, the most violent, the most aggressive, the most fearful, but not the smartest (because a smart person is not violent), will lead. But everyone suffers for it, in the end. In my example, which was based on real-life by the way, Friend A was the most aggressive.

People live among others similar to them...Usually you are where you are, because you believe in what your society believes. ...Like attracts like.

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