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Run in Circle

Popularity 11Viewed 2122 times 2014-11-26 21:05 |System category:Life| original, running, feeling, process, energy

Sometimes we are just like the second hand of the clock, running hard all the time, but finally come back to the original place. Maybe we would put in a lot of money, time, energy, sweat and expectation in the process of some kind of trying, and it still turns out to be fruitless. The feeling must be extremely terrible the moment we know we have once again lost the game. Once again, we would be at a lose, feeling awful and miserable, as if being on the brink of collapse, especially when we are alone, when nobody cares, nobody listens to and nobody could understand us. All have gone with time, and we are alone with time. We tried hard but we came back to the original place, we ran fast but we still reached at the beginning. The heaviest lose, I think, is the time we have lost, for we can earn all the lose back but time. We can get restarted, but we are not young any more.

I’d read from somewhere that the first five years after college graduation are crucial to one’s career or future development. I’ve always been bearing this in mind. It’s true that I’m not so satisfied with my present living conditions, yet I’ve not enough ability to change it. So I must change myself, that is, to lift my capacity and to strengthen myself. So I set a goal for myself, which is difficult to reach. I need to fight for it, I need to study many things, and I also need to overcome many things, such as laziness, being absent-minded, proudness, conceit, forgetfulness, etc. So I must change my mind and living habits first. This is difficult for me, for it also means to give up many cozy habits I liked, such as watching TV series or movies and going shopping in my leisure time. Though they would not be totally removed from my every struggling day life, they would be reduced to the minimum to leave out more time for study, and I have to control myself and stick to it until the day I reach my goal. If you had ever experienced the fighting process, you must know the sufferings in it. The feeling is just like when an ascetic monk has to prohibit himself from leading a life of pleasure, and when a foodie trying to lose weight and has to give up his favorite chocolate. Once I told one of my friends that I hadn’t watched TV series or movies for months just for an important exam, and he said I was crazy. However, I still failed the exam, I still lost my goal. I was totally at a lose the moment I knew I failed. I thought I was trying hard but I still came back to the original place, just like the second hand of the clock. The most expensive thing I have lost is time. However, I can’t stop here. I still have to walk ahead, just like the second hand of the time, and just like the time.

(Opinions of the writer in this blog don't represent those of China Daily.)


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