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Political Satire: The Old Man of the Mountain -- Flip-flops (犹豫不决) Part 2

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reedak

Jun 12, 2025, 08:36

Narrator: As soon as he had finished speaking, the ground shook violently. The dog barked loudly and pulled hard at the leash in its attempt to run away, but it ended up running in a circle around the old man. The horse neighed loudly and pranced wildly in a circle around the old man and his dog. The dead fish "jumped" to shoulder height from the ground. The old man screamed at his dog in his effort to stop it from running, and one of the fish landed in his big potty mouth. When the aftershock was over, the priest said jokingly.

Priest: The sight of the fish in your mouth reminds me of a proverbial saying: "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime." It seems that God has given you a fish while teaching you how to fish like a hungry brown bear plucking a leaping salmon from the air.

Old man (spitting out the fish angrily): If God really wants to give me a fish, He should not give me a rotten one.

Priest: Okay, we have enough talk about brain hacking by black arts. I wish to contact you when I reach the Mountain. May I have your phone number?

Old man: Why not? Here is my name card with my phone number.

Priest: Thanks for your name card.

Old man: No need to thank me. You are the only one who gets my phone number free of charge because I regard you as my true friend. Your mistress who is now living apart in trial separation has donated a huge sum of money to my election campaigns just for my phone number.

Priest: Well, she can get your phone number, but don't ever let me catch her calling you or your twin brother.

Old man: I have to tell you a bad news. She called me last week to wish me congratulations on winning the election.

Narrator: Suddenly there came another aftershock. "Leaping" to eye level, the dead fish seemed to "dance" in celebration of a special occasion. The dog kept barking and pulled so hard on the leash that it pulled the old man along with it for some distance. The horse neighed loudly and lifted its front legs so high that the priest almost fell off from its back. When the ground stopped shaking, the two men resumed their conversation.

Priest: Okay, let's get back to my perfidious lover. When I return to my region, I shall confirm with her whether she has acted unfaithfully behind my back before lodging an official protest to you. As for now I have to lodge a solemn representation with you as an informal protest for interfering in my domestic affairs.

Old man: Interesting how my twin brother does a lot of business with her and I should not accept a congratulatory call.

Priest: You are very clear about my solemn position on your phone conversation with my mistress in trial separation.

Old man: I never said it. Don't put words in my mouth.

Priest: You won't lose anything by keeping your big potty mouth shut! Anyway I have to take my leave now. The more I speak to you, the more irritated I am. There is a popular quote by someone in your region: "When they go low, you go high." I have to go high now not because of my grace, forgiveness, and enemy love but because of the impending arrival of tsunami.

Old man: This place is a paradise to me when I think of the congratulatory calls from the leaders of all the other regions, particularly the phone call from your mistress in trial separation. Anyway, don't forget to call me when you reach the Mountain. Goodbye!

Priest: Enjoy the gorgeous landscape of your paradise before it turns into hell. Goodbye!

Narrator: Thereupon the priest put spurs to his horse and sped on towards a distant mountain at full gallop. However, he turned back to speak to the old man after galloping a few hundred metres.

Priest: I almost forgot to tell you something that was purported to have uttered by your first ancestor through the mouth of a temple medium. Suggesting that the Mountain is entering a time of hopelessness, he said: "We feel the difference now. Hope is necessary. It's a necessary concept. And the Old Man of the Mountain didn't just talk about hope because he thought it was a nice slogan to get votes. He and I and so many believed that … what else do you have if you don't have hope? What do you give your kids if you can't give them hope?"

Old man: We have tremendous hope and we have tremendous promise and we have tremendous potential. I assume my first ancestor was talking about the past, not the future.

Narrator: No sooner had he spoken than the ground began to shake. The quake of the aftershock was so powerful that the priest was thrown off the horse. After performing a somersault in the air, he landed safely but rose in full pursuit of his horse which had galloped up a slope. After a while, he managed to catch up with his horse and jumped onto its back.

Meanwhile, the old man was chasing his dog which had broken free from the leash and was running towards the rising waves. The dead fish shot up like rockets from the ground and rained down on the two men and their animals. One of them landed on the old man's golden locks.


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