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Forum trends: No house, no marriage?[2]- Chinadaily.com.cn   [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2014-5-5 10:11:27 |Display all floors
Richard (US)

I am a Westerner with a Chinese girlfriend. We plan to get married later this year.

Her parents required a substantial payment up-front (we are talking six digits) to allow me to date her. I still haven't met them. When I do, another 10K rmb is expected as some kind of "booking fee" for the meeting. There is also pressure from them for me to buy a dwelling (of course), which appar ...

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Post time 2014-5-5 10:11:28 |Display all floors
In China, we need to give a payment as dowry to the parents of brides-to-be. But not all of the families will consider relatives' feeling. In my hometown and my wife's hometown, we can give the payment if we don't feel any pressure. The point is we love each other and our parents hope we can be happy.

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Post time 2014-5-5 16:38:37 |Display all floors
I met my husband when he was a student as I was just at the beginning of my work. We don't have the rich parents who can give us the financial support. And we know this clearly. But, nothing concerning house, car, etc affects our relationship and our hope for future. Actually, we got married because of my accidental pregnance before we prepared for it. No apartment, we are hesitating to have our daughter. From the view of a female, a home is not just about a house or an apartment, it is really depending on ourselves. But, I think there is a prerequisite of marriage which is equality.

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Post time 2014-5-6 09:32:20 |Display all floors
Oh My God!!!!
China has changed dramatically!  What happened to the old traditional way of life?  This western influence is terrible!
Yes I am from the US.  Having a house prior to marriage is soooooo overrated.  Much better to have a mutual love, which will eventually bring a house into the marriage. China, please don’t go the western way!  It’s the wrong way!!!!!!

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Post time 2014-5-6 16:57:49 |Display all floors
To the guy who had to pay his girlfriend's family 6 figures just to date her... RUN! She's not worth it. That is an absurd request, to buy a woman like that. Women are equal to met, and treating her like a pig or a cow wrong. That sort of barbarism needs to go away. Don't enable it.

Love and extortion don't mix, and her family is trying to extort you.

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Post time 2014-6-17 23:48:33 |Display all floors
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Post time 2014-6-30 21:25:38 |Display all floors
i had the same problem. my ex gf father demanded 100k up front with in 1 week of us being together. he then wanted another 3k every month. We had to break up but I continued giving my ex gf 3k every month for 2 years until she found a better job. She has recently married a local guy, and he had to borrow 100k from friends, family and the bank to give to her father. They now have a baby but still have to give her father money every month. I sometimes wonder why the parents treat their children like that....

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