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Can a man and a woman ever have a platonic relationship? [Copy link] 中文

Rank: 4

Post time 2004-5-19 10:59:02 |Display all floors
Yes, we've read endless lists of Q & A forums and all that goes on in the media circus on the above mentioned.

Believe it or not, everyone tries to dabble with this at one point of his / her life, or have heard of stories of such... our minds once mulled over this or we've literally chewed over this before... so, it's still a burning question, leaving a mark in our hearts. So, everyone must have a story or stories to tell?

So... could there be this little element, deep in our hearts that we long to find a partner, but we're only disguising and hiding behind the skirts of friendship? Could there ever be a platonic relationship in your opinion? Will there always be this 'element of chemistry' between a man and a woman?

(I hope no one is going to come up with sibling stories and parent-child thing - we're not going into incestuous discussions BUT of strangers we meet along life's pathways).

Read on ... I have more to pick your mind with before you reply :).

Right on...life! --> With our multitude of experiences on love or trials & errors on attempting love must have either constricted and expanded both our hearts and minds with emotional upheavels, euphoric experiences and so forth... but the bubble pops right before we go insane - we still drift back to earth and face reality.

Yes, I'm speaking about the emotional roller coaster rides that we experience from falling in love and out of love. Do we think of possible 'love' whenever we meet the opposite sex, or we just start off by being platonic? What attracts us to the a particular opposite sex in the first place?

'Yeah', same old, same old stories of 'boy meets girl' but varied by experiences that joined BGR (boy-girl relationship) through:

1. 'love at first sight for both',
2. 'one-sided love',
3. 'fatal attraction',
4. 'We both like each other very much, but let's be friends first... then la dee la daa... love emerged from no where',

OR complicated cases such as

5. 'We both like each other, but let's check out what other choices we have out there... we'll get back to each other if the search is futile', or even
6. 'Let's stick with each other till someone better comes along',

OR will there be...

'Ah... we'll be really good friends for sure'... chop chop style - decide there and then that there'll never be anything more than just friendship, honey! Then days and months pass by and cupid played a cruel trick on ya... you'll change your line to "Hated / didn't feel a thing for / don't know what to think of each other when we first met, but don't know what happened along the way"....

ahhhh.... the list goes on!

Right, give me your two cents' worth.
... and the list goes onand even come up with our own rules to abstain from having another relationship, but to fall back into it's game again - unexpectedly - naturally.

Well, living in a world of expectations - both materialistic and basic alike - they still fall into the same category - expectations.

Forget about 'race' in this sense, and focus on our very humanistic emotional needs, as we all end up feeling the same... whether we like it or not? So, a penny for your thoughts?

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Post time 2004-5-19 13:15:23 |Display all floors

Yes, it's possible

It depend on who you are and what circumstance you are in.......

Example.....
A single man can have a platonic relationship with a married woman
or a student can have a platonic relationship with a teacher.....

I am sure a single man can have a platonic relationship with a single woman too.......Again, It depend on who you are and what circumstance
you are in.....

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Post time 2004-5-19 14:35:33 |Display all floors

Platonic relationship?

If physical attraction is present between a man and a woman, it is not possible to have a natural platonic relationship, until romance has run its course and the end of romance accepted by both.

Platonic relationship begins when emotional desire phases into intellectual reasoning.

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Post time 2004-5-19 15:28:27 |Display all floors

Good one, Edon55 :);

Thank you for your intellectual insight, Edon55  :) --> "latonic relationship begins when emotional desire phases into intellectual reasoning."

This gets my mind ticking on the fact that most people would like to believe that they are reasonable beings i.e. able to control their emotional desires, and to think rationally / to curb themselves from doing whatever that may be perceived as unacceptable. Some just let themselves go, and go logger-heads with the norms just to fulfill their hearts' desires.

In this case, Gracelee has a point too on student-teacher and unmarried-married folks' relationships - they should be platonic - it's not only a norm, but a social expectation as well. In short, one should be able to curb the emotions from emerging because it's socially unacceptable? However, we do know of cases (via the media) which didn't quite fit the bill ...   

At many times of our lives, we curb our emotions and not let ourselves go. So, it's a mind over heart matter should there be any sensual or physical attraction in any situation, aye? If this is the case, one's will power is tested - whether one has control over one's heart and rationalise. Hence, phileo / intellectual attraction when boy meets girl could occur?!

Someone once spoken to me that one can only strike a platonic relationship with an opposite sex if the person is a total turn-off in the looks / attitude department, otherwise, anything goes! It's true that we are driven by our emotional needs to know the opposite sex better when we are drawn towards them, and we don't want to probe further if we are not interested, aye?

Would you like to add on more to this, or show other readers what's on the other side of the coin in regards to this thread?

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Post time 2004-5-19 18:36:29 |Display all floors

Platonic relationships are a fight against nature.

I can have a platonic relationship with a female, as long as she is ugly.
I cannot have a platonic relationship with a pretty girl because there is always be that sexual attraction.

I might pretend to have a platonic interest in a pretty girl so she will feel comfortable speaking to me. But secretly I would be thinking of ways to get into her pants.

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Post time 2004-5-20 00:29:34 |Display all floors

re: relentless

you bad man.

however, i agree that it is difficult to stop that line of thought for either men or women who are close to each other.  

for myself, i like to think of my relationship with my wife as simply a friendship first, with added benefits.

ts

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Post time 2004-5-20 01:21:44 |Display all floors

you can do anything you want.

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