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Parents lost their only child   [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2012-7-9 09:57:36 |Display all floors
This post was edited by vincent01 at 2012-7-9 09:57

According to normal death ratio, more than 10 million single children died before 25 years old from 1975 to 2010. That is to say, about 20 million parents lost their only child when they were at middle age and became isolated and helpless old people. They not only lose financial support from their children, but also suffer from the mental damages. They are the victims of the family planning policy, which is still a national policy now. (Writer Wu Jiaxiang, Editor Wang Wai, translated from QQ.com)

This steamed bun has been sealed and maintained for five years with a slip “this is the last breakfast of Xiao Hong on the morning of Feb 13, 2003”. Xiao Hong died from heart disease that day at 35 years old. His father Professor Pan kept this steamed bun since then.


Professor Pan and his wife married at 34 years old to follow the national policy. When he is 70 years old now and needs care from his son, he can only look at the photo to memorize his son.

Professor Pan is 75 years old now and works at Tsinghua University for 53 years. He does not retire now and commute between his apartment house on campus and his office. He and his wife have tried to apply for nursing houses. But they are rejected for they do not have a son or a daughter to sign for their application forms.



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Post time 2012-7-9 09:59:44 |Display all floors

Professor Pan sent the last message of his son from his wife’s mobile phone to his mobile phone and takes the mobile phone together with him since his son’s death. Neither of this old couple turned on their mobile phone that morning. So they did not see the help-me message “Mom, my heart feels painful” in time.

Aunt Di cherishes the last gift from her daughter very much. Her daughter was born in 1983 and was studying for her doctoral degree in the United States when she was killed in a traffic accident in May 2008. The girl called her family and sent her New Year wishes for all family member during the Spring Festival holiday and died several months later. What her mother got from the US was just her bone ash.

Aunt Di’s mind totally collapsed. She left her hometown with her husband and isolated herself from any contact. She said that Chinese people put all their hopes on their children and the most popular topic for people at her age is about the children. I have no child now. I lost everything. When my daughter was buried, I was actually dead and buried together with her already. Her mother has died actually.   

Aunt Di buried her daughter on a quiet slope of the tomb yard of Badaling in Beijing. She said she might not be able to climb to the mountain to see her daughter several years later. She is 57 years old now.

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Post time 2012-7-9 10:01:30 |Display all floors

A father losing his only child writes letters to his dead son to express his feeling and sadness. He wrote in one letter that Yuan De, my son, it is Spring Festival today, a time for a family get-together. I know you are suffering, so are we. We are all crying for the pains of life, but what can we do then?

The consequence of losing only child to the parents is nothing can be relied on when they become old. A group of parents who lost their only child organized the petition. On June 5, more than 80 parents who lost their only child collected in the office of Letters and Visits of China Family Planning Commission, they really wanted to meet with some leader there to talk about their future. The leaders, however, never showed themselves to them.

The requirements of those parents are: firstly, they want to get reasonable economic compensations and the government should build collected low-rent communities for them; and second, they hope relative departments of government should issue regulations, rules and laws to make it clear which institutions they can find when they have problems. After a long day’s stalemate, the Family Planning Commission finally promised they would issue a frame of institution to report to State Council and build a communication regime as well. Parents losing their only child brought wishes and got the trains to go home.

Comparing with the difficulties in economic situation, the more scared problem is the spiritual emptiness of those solo old parents. To seek a spiritual support, some of parents give their faiths to religion and spend their rest of lives in the temples. These three mothers who lost their only child are hermits in a temple, Zhenjiang, Jiangsu province.

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Post time 2012-7-9 10:02:58 |Display all floors

Before he became a hermit of Buddhist, Laopang was a doctor of Traditional Chinese Medicine. He has serious heart disease and hypertension. If he is endlessly smoking that means he misses his child again. “I have no requirement but die quickly without much pain,” he said frankly.

This woman will not only swab her only daughter’s grave without any dust but also change news decorations every time when she comes to the tomb. She enters a QQ chat group of parents lost their only child. They can console with each other through their chatting. Maybe, it’s the only way can let them feel equal and bring them to peace.

The old couple moved into temple after their child passed away, and rare to go back home. Laoliu is boiler and gatekeeper of temple, and his wife Fenglan grows vegetables and takes care of other old people.

The house of Laoliu is too dangerous to live in as being not mended for years. They can only hold each other hands and see their tearing eyes without saying anything but sobbing. (Beijing Shots)

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Post time 2012-7-10 08:36:01 |Display all floors

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Post time 2012-7-10 10:20:40 |Display all floors
i think the family planing policy should change into twop-childs policy

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Post time 2012-7-10 10:34:11 |Display all floors
This is so tragic for China. To see their family line end while still being alive is horrible to imagine

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