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List of Reasons to Live and Die [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2012-5-22 16:58:39 |Display all floors

May 9th, Wang Qiyun squats in front of a coffee table smoking endlessly. After his son Wang Shuo passed away, he has been smoking two packs a day. Photo by iYaxin reporter Shang Yitao.

After Wang Shuo’s death, his mother Zhang Li found a notebook while organizing his bedroom, discovering inside that he had used brief phases and broken sentences to record all the complicated things that were going on in his mind. Amongst the things written in the notebook, this table of “reasons to live or die” (see image) made her even more heartbroken.

Translation of the above:

The report From Dahe:
19-year-old top student makes list of reasons to live or die and, unable to bear the pressure, jumps off building to commit suicide
Reasons to die: 6. Reasons to live: 23. Yet in the end, the reasons to live failed to prevail over the reasons to die. On May 4, Wang Shuo chose to jump off a building, using this most extreme and most desperate method to free himself. In this boy’s 19 years of life, the final 3 years were spent suffering from depression. “What’s the purpose of life? And why does life have to be so difficult?” he often asked himself after being diagnosed with depression. We cannot presume exactly what he meant by “difficult”, however, he most of the reasons to die he listed were related to school.
In 2009, Wang Shuo was a second-year student in a top class of a top high school in Changji, Xinjiang. The students there have always been very competitive, and with the Gaokao university entrance examinations approaching, there was a lot of schoolwork, and everyone was under a lot of stress. “He started to act weird in the second year of high school, often tearing apart his textbooks in class, him saying he already knows everything the teacher is saying. He also often didn’t turn in his homework, saying it was a waste of time.” In the beginning of 2010, Wang Shuo was diagnosed with Clinical Depression and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and was hospitalized in Urumqi. From the beginning of 2010 to the beginning of this year, Wang Shuo had been hospitalized in Urumqi and Beijing four times, and as a result of being unable to focus his energy on his studies, as well chest pains and other symptoms, he would go to school sometimes but rest at home at other times.
In 2010, Wang Shuo was admitted to a Computer Science major by at Shihezi University. After 5 days, he took a leave of absence from school. In his second year, he attended class for 3 days before never going back. Later, Wang Shuo became aware of how severe his illness was and thought about fighting against it. This year, he decided to find a job to help keep his mind off of things. He had tried being a waiter, a clothing shop assistant and a mobile phone shop assistant, none of which lasted more than just one day.
After Wang Shuo’s death, his mother Zhang Li found a notebook while organizing his bedroom, discovering inside that he had used brief phases and broken sentences to record all the complicated things that were going on in his mind. Amongst the things written in the notebook, this table of “reasons to live or die” (see image) made her even more heartbroken.

What a pity. So many reasons to live, and yet they failed to save his life.

What reasons do you have to live? Hope you don't have reasons to die

Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid.

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Post time 2012-5-22 17:37:34 |Display all floors
Its a very good question, i live for my family-whats left of it.
Your own mind is a sacred enclosure into which nothing harmful can enter except by your permission. Arnold Bennett

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