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Would you stay in a loveless marriage for the sake of your children?   [Copy link] 中文

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Post time 2012-3-16 10:49:16 |Display all floors

I still remember that when I and my sisters were young, my mom said a few times that she would have divorced if it hadn't been for us children. I can't help thinking what I would have become if they had divorced.

But anyhow, I thank them for sacrifice that is done for us.  I can tell that the love and happiness between them had been wearing out.

I'm getting a bit negative. Does every marriage has to go through this?  
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Post time 2012-3-16 10:51:09 |Display all floors
Life is what you make of it

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Post time 2012-3-16 12:11:55 |Display all floors
Absolutely no.

We live only once, if we are not happy, what's the point of living?

Besides, if i keep the unhappy marriage, I will make as if my children is the cause of my misery. As if "hey son, you should be grateful to your parents here, we endure this pain because we want you to be happy..." Now how twisted is that? The fact that i put the blame on my children is already damaging the children's mentality.

Sometimes (maybe most of the times), we put blame on somebody else for our coward act.

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Post time 2012-3-16 12:39:56 |Display all floors
This post was edited by DSseeing at 2012-3-16 12:41
Sh1zuk4 Post time: 2012-3-16 12:11
Absolutely no.

We live only once, if we are not happy, what's the point of living?


What if a step mother/father treated the kid badly?  it would be kind of selfish to just take your own happiness into consideration.
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Post time 2012-3-16 13:48:14 |Display all floors
DSseeing Post time: 2012-3-16 12:39
What if a step mother/father treated the kid badly?  it would be kind of selfish to just take your ...

Its just the way i think, i might be wrong to some people.

here's an analogy. In a plane accident, why do we have to put the oxygen mask to our self before helping others or our child next to us? Because the child is depending on us, so you have to be safe first. You are the priority.

Same thing here, its all about chances. If the parents are unhappy, there is a big chance the children will also grow unhappy. Not absolutely, but the chance is big. At least the children can learn, that if they are faced with an unfavorable condition, they can do something about it. I would rather have an aggressive son rather than a passive one.

If i have to bet, i would bet on the better probability.

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Post time 2012-3-16 20:41:37 |Display all floors
If the marriage stayed within healthy terms, yes I would tough it out. What I mean by 'healthy' is if we were cordial and civil with one another maintaining a positive nurturing environment for the children to grow in.

With that said, I believe the odds of maintaining that required healthy enviroment would be slim. So then you would come to a decision of 'what is the lessor of the two evils'. One being making the children live in an unhealthy environment or making them live without both natural parents as a family unit. I believe in that case I would depart from the home, but stay close and provide all subsistence required for them.

In any circumstance my decision would be based on what is best for the children, not me. I must take responsibility for their well being. After all, it was I that brought them into the world. Sometimes one has to 'man up.'

Not everyone would agree with me, but I really do not care. This is who I am.

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Post time 2012-3-18 14:25:31 |Display all floors
lotusfly7 Post time: 2012-3-16 20:41
If the marriage stayed within healthy terms, yes I would tough it out. What I mean by 'healthy' is i ...

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