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Tuesday, September 08, 2009|
After and before decision
The date of 10th is coming soon, that isn’t any special about that date, and however I write it because at that date, the bank will deduct money from my bank account, for the house loan.
Before I made up the decision of to buy that house, I was excited and happy, I thought:” I will get my house very soon, not matter how hard and how matter how much it cost, I don’t care, I am going to withdraw all my money from the bank and pay for the deposit.”
As I thought, I done, I am dreaming for my house, a big house for living, and I don’t think of how big is the loan, only I feel the excitement, the joy of owning a house of my own, but after the day goes by, and the bank deduct money from my bank account monthly, I start to hate that house, my account have never increase but after I get the salary, I withdraw the money for daily expenditure, and the at 10th, the bank take out my money, then the account empty again. I have paid for the bank loan three months and I am so hate to see the bank account, never have any money leave for me. I feel regret, and I thought:” What a bad decision that I make before, I actually should not buy that house, if without that house, I am enjoying a free life, a happy life and a life that I can buy everything as I wish, now I can buy nothing, that is too bad, I should not make up that decision to buy that house, I should enjoy my life more instead of carry that big responsibility, and I am not enjoy that now but I am already suffer too much for that house, I do think that I make the wrong decision.
A house, it is needed for a family, I have long for a family and marriage for a long time, I think that is the main reason for me to decide to buy that house. But now when I see the bank get money from me each month, I think:’ what I think it is wrong, what is the meaning for buying a house? What is the meaning for marriage and family? Maybe a single life is better for me, more freedom, more enjoyment and more happiness.”
Now 10th is coming soon, I think I will be unhappy for several days again.